


Blackeyed

by xChrononautx



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Makaptors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xChrononautx/pseuds/xChrononautx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the circus comes to visit Newark city, Sollux is made to take his older brother Mituna out to see the Dark Carnival. However, the Captors get more than they bargained for when Mituna goes missing after the show. Makaras x Captors. Mature rating for: Drug use, Domestic violence, Murder and Smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The simple things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have some artwork for this http://xchrononautx-arts.tumblr.com/post/126681333249/woot-woot-its-done-captors-and-makara

“Oh, look. If it isn’t Sollux Captor.”

Fuck.

The more often he heard that drawling voice of Eridan Ampora, the more often that Sollux was tempted to simply drop his backpack one day and smack the guy in the face. The entire college knew how much they hated one another, and if anything their spats usually drew a crowd, but today, on his way home from another mundane lesson, he was grateful that they were just passing one another by the gates. A daily ritual of hate.

“Fuck off, Ed. I really don’t have time for this shit” Sollux grumbled. His lisp was so thick that sometimes he seriously considered avoiding the use of words beginning with S entirely. No end of troubles had come from his speech impediment in the past, but he couldn’t bring himself to head to the orthodontists. If anything, he figured braces would make things worse. “Don’t you have some where else to be? Or is it now at the point where you’re actually waiting outside the college to argue with me?” he snapped, pressing his glasses up his nose and glaring through the dual shaded lenses.

Naturally Eridan was less than impressed with the snide remark that came right back at him and he rolled his eyes behind his thick frames. “As if I would waste my precious time hanging about for a piss stain on society like you. Really, If it wasn’t for the fact my Uncle was courteous enough to employ your oldest brother, you’d be living off Mituna’s disability benefit, no doubt. Ungh, it’s fucking depressing to think I even have to attend the same college as you” he sighed, words dripping in loathing as they usually were whenever the two spoke. 

Turning to look over his shoulder, he glared with hatred at the taller boy. Eridan was pushing his limits now, and Sollux was dead certain that the other boy was well aware of this fact. The way Eridan’s thin lips slightly curved to add a disgustingly smug smile made it all too clear he knew he was hitting a nerve. The middle child of the Captor family was always a touchy subject for Sollux, so the fact Eridan have the audacity to even bring it up made him grit his teeth slightly. Sadly for his enemy, Sollux kept his cool and merely smirked back with his own hit at a particular sore spot of Eridan’s.

“At least I didn’t need to buy my way in, talent was enough to make them swing the doors wide open and practically roll out a red carpet for me.” he smirked, flipping two fingers over his shoulder as he walked past his opponent. He could practically feel Eridan’s eyes shooting contempt at the back of his head as he left him behind at the gates, starting the long walk home.

The closing remark had only been a small victory, however. Eridan wasn't stupid and had probably kicked the battle short. It was well known he’d done very well in his GCSEs, his grades a glitter of A*'s in every subject he'd chosen worthy of pursuing. However, Newark College was private and incredibly prestigious and would have turned Eridan down if it wasn’t for the hefty sum his father had pushed their way. The Amporas were an aristocratic family that were very typical of the notion that it wasn’t what you knew, but whom you knew. With fingers in various companies and such, there was rumours they were connected to the royal family, although Sollux was unsure if this was entirely true. Nevertheless, they had a good foothold in Newark city. Eridan’s father owned several businesses, and his uncle - a man known as ‘Dualscar Ampora’ - worked with another member of Eridan’s family at the local nightclub called Liquid. Really Sollux resented that he knew all this information, but it always paid well to know your enemies as well as your friends, of which he had few at the college.

Hell,The only reason Sollux had managed to get in was due to being highly skilled in the field of computing.

Though he'd always applied them where he really shouldn't be doing so.

One boring day, a 13 year old Sollux had gotten caught hacking into the government computers. Unsurprisingly he was reprimanded pretty damn swiftly and had received a sentence of eight months of ‘open custody.’ One year of probation. Boy wasn't that ever fun? Restricted use of the internet and a small fine on top. It hadn’t really hindered him much but dealing with government ,the police and a threat of punishment was enough to make most boys near piss themselves. All in all it didn’t matter now though as his mischief seemed to have impressed someone along the lines. Because now as he was on a path to join the very people he had hacked long ago.

Sollux turned a corner as he mulled over his future, taking care to side step a poster that bustled past in the late summer wind. This path and the rules he had to follow were a comfort of sorts. He knew where he was going to end up and what he had to do along the way; it was just a categorically large pain in the ass having to do it. Everything the tutor drawled on at him about computing were things he already knew, things that were trivial to him, but he had to complete the course before he could move on to university. A seriously dull means to a end. 

But even with his life looking towards a job that paid well in an area he was good at, he felt like he should dare to break away from this path, like it was too predictable and his mind was starting to wonder down that train of thought when he realized he’d walked a full 45 minutes back home and was stood at the end of his street by his house.

"Oh."

Being as poor as the Captors were meant that they lived in the inner city, which was lucky even in itself when he thought about it. Council houses were so hard to get in this day and age. He knew there were some people who had been on the waiting list for years before they even got remotely close to biddng on a property. As much as he hated admitting it, they had been incredibly lucky that their mother’s life insurance had paid out when she died. Everything was left to Almeis,his eldest brother, and he bought the house outright; well, most of it. There was still a bit left to pay off and they were so close to securing it that Almeis was constantly checking how much was left to pay at the end of each month. Add in the fact that Sollux was soon no longer to be considered a minor when he turned 18 in June meant that the three of them were desperate to buy the house, as their living costs would shoot up. It was yet another reason he’d opted to stay on his path towards a career in cyber security.

“Not long now . . .” he murmured to himself, pulling his house key from his pocket and unlocking the mustard yellow door to the end terraced house he called home. As far as he was concerned, there was nowhere in the world quite like 22 Sincil Bank, or ‘Sinny Bank’, as the locals called it.

Stepping inside, he was immediately punched by a hit of hot air, loud 8-bit music and the smell of burnt toast that seemed to rush out from the house like it had been trapped inside all day. God damnit. There was only one person who could subject a home to such torment like this. It seemed Mituna had put the heating on full blast and burnt his lunch again, making Sollux roll his eyes as he nudged the door closed gently with his foot.  
“MITUNA!? ITS SEPTEMBER YOU DON'T NEED THE HEATING YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG-ALMEIS IS GOING TO LITERALLY DELETE ALL YOUR SAVES ON THE PLAYSTATION IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS. WE CAN'T AFFORD THIS SHIT!” he yelled, pressing his glasses up his nose as he kicked his trainers near the shoe rack and hung his hoodie up.Idiot. This was the fourth time this had happened this month. Though the lack of a response was starting to worry him a little before he heard the scrambling of feet on the floorboards above. Well, seemed his brother hadn't died from self inflicted heat exhaustion. Always good to know. He rubbed his temples before hearing the crashing noise of Mituna running down the staircase.

“I ACCIDENTLY THE HEATING.” Mituna grinned, walking up to greet his younger brother by shoving him with a sweaty palm.

"No shit." Sollux snorted, shoving him back and making that stupid messy fluff Mituna called hair bounce about. How he saw anything through that thick black mess was a wonder, but he guessed it at least hid the red and blue eyes all three of the captors had. Apparently having a shitty lisp wasn't enough of a reason for people to pick on him and Mituna, no, they needed a partial albinism and a rare form of chronic migraine to suffer with as well. Spectacular. It was like their parents had given them nothing but the worst of their genetics without meaning to.

Though Sollux had it easy compared to Mituna. Someone who most people approached believing to be adorable and child like when they realized something was off about him. A brilliantly wonderful thing to watch as people would then recoil in horror upon discovering what a utter shit bag his brother was regardless of any issues he had conducting himself. And there were many.

“HEY SOLLUXTH HOWTH ITH HANGIN BRO?” Mituna grinned, papping his younger brother’s shoulder and swaying on the spot a little as he looked at Sollux fiddling with the thermostat to turn the heating back off.

“It’s fine, Mitz. I’m surprised you could fucking hear me over how loud your game was” he grumbled, heading past Mituna and towards the kitchen, knowing that his brother would follow him like an excitable puppy. Or at least he hoped he would. Mituna's balance issues meant the doctors would prefer him to use a zimmerframe but his brother was having none of that. No, a fall was nothing to Mituna who usually had bumps and bruises, but that didn't stop Sollux or Almeis attempting to catch him as they knew he didn't always manage to get back up again on his own.

“Unless you've suddenly turned into a reptile, you need to stop touching the thermostat or Almeis is going to take your allowance for the bills again AND delete your saves. Heat costs money you know.” Maybe stating his point a second time would help it stick, though he wasn't hopeful.

“BUT I NEED IT LOUD. THO THEN-THEN I CAN KEEPED EVERYTHING QUIET” came the slightly irked response. Logic had never been Mituna’s strong point, even before his accident, and Sollux wasn’t about to argue with him about it either. 

“Whatever. Almeis is going to be home soon, so get your shit together and bring down your plates. I KNOW you have plates up there, hoarded away like some sort of plate fetish” he snapped, narrowing his eyes at Mituna who held his hands up in surrender. 

Mituna was able to make himself toast during the day and normally stayed in his bedroom playing video games, absorbed in MMO's or his old retro consoles. However, it meant that his room was usually where all the plates in the house had gone by the end of each day. Both Sol and Almeis were ever grateful that Mituna was particularly picky about being clean and having things in certain places however, meaning that whilst Mituna's room was an odd place (how many buttons did one guy need?,) it was at least organized.

“HOW?” Mituna asked, standing in the doorway and looking genuinely confused that Sollux would know such a thing.

“Because I can smell burnt toast. It was the first thing that hit me - asides from my skin melting and how stupidly loud your music was.”

““BUT I NEED IT LOUD THO-”

“TUNA, get your fucking plates!” he snapped again, watching the other flip him off before running back upstairs with about as much thunderous noise as he did coming down them. "Shit..." he sighed a bit to himself as he filled the kettle up with water. Him and Mituna usually argued or snapped at one another, they were brothers after all and he was still wary that asshole was just as likely to need his help as he was to wipe snot on his tshirt.

Not that he'd change Mituna though, or anything about this part of his day anyway. Even if it was set to be altered soon. Starting 4pm Mituna came down to see Sollux come home or he'd simply burst into his room to see what he was up to. They'd then go downstairs to the kitchen and make tea for their eldest brother, who would come home to make dinner and such before going to work. Once he'd fucked off, Sollux and Mituna usually played games, procrastinated chores before Almeis rang to tell them to make sure said chores were done before finally heading to bed after leaving a meal in the fridge for their eldest brother to eat when he got home. Occasionally any bathtimes that needed to happen for Mituna was also added in (he was used to aiding Mituna in and out the bath by now.) All in All, Sollux was kept pretty busy.

Though nowhere near as busy as Almeis, who made the youngest Captor's eyes glance to the clock.

Their eldest brother was a manager at Liquid, Newark's busiest nightclub and had to be in during the day, as well as during nights. Most people never appreciated how much work it took to run a place like that, although Sollux suspected that the general manager was overworking Almeis. With him being on a salary rather than an hourly rate, the head honcho could squeeze all the hours from him he wanted as jobs were scarce. Gotta love a recession, Sollux thought bitterly as he grabbed a cup. Making tea for Almeis was a simple gesture, but it was at least appreciated and Sollux was happy to do it considering Almeis gave him an allowance without expecting him to get a part time job. Perhaps he was lucky in that respect, not that he wanted some shitty part time deal when he was destined for something so much better.

“I’m back” came Almeis’s voice, the sound of the door opening and closing as if right on cue. Sollux lent back and gave a wave to his older brother as Mituna came crashing down the stairs once more, this time running straight over to the suited man and waving enthusiastically at him.

“I HAVE ALLED THE MUTHAFUCKIN PLATHES!” Mituna grinned, sniggering incessantly as Almeis groaned, rubbing his temples a little as he noted the stack of dirty plates in Mituna’s arms. 

“Sollux, I thought I told you to check his room before you left for college?” Came a stifled yawn from Almeis as he made his way into the kitchen.

“I did. These are all from when I was out” Sollux mumbled in reply, taking the dishes from Mituna and then nodding for him to go join their brother at the table. This was fairly routine: for the three of them to sit and have a drink together before Almeis made dinner. It had started off as more for Mituna’s sake than anything (because they'd always sat with their mother), but ten years down the line and it was just normal now. Yes, Sollux liked to think the Captor household ran smoothly and without incident most times, though naturally as a band of three brothers, they were prone to arguments and such (and any fights seemed to be mostly between Sollux and Mituna.)

“SHITS TIDY” Mituna stated, shuffling off to the table after placing the plates near the sink (they were all plastic, otherwise they'd have no dishes left.)

“Good. Did you have a good day, Mituna? I would’ve asked earlier but I was dealing with a wall of fucking heat” Sollux asked, filling a beaker with honeyed milk for Mituna and a tea for Almeis; he himself usually just grabbed an energy drink from the fridge.

“YESTH.” 

“Sweet. Did you manage to get past Metropolis zone?” he mumbled, half paying attention as he passed the cups over to the other two.

“NOPE” Mituna seethed. His love of playing video games usually kept Mituna more than occupied on the days that Sollux had to go to college. Recently, he’d been playing Sonic the Hedgehog, and had gotten quite addicted to it. Although he loved video games, Mituna’s death counts in the process of getting to the ends were legendary. Sadly, he’d struggled with one level on this game for some reason and had been replaying it over and over. There was the promise of a prize if he’d managed to complete it by today, but it seemed that Mituna had been unsuccessful in his venture. “TEH GAME ITH BROKEN!! STUPID PIECED OF SHIT!!”

Sollux grabbed his own drink from the fridge (a cold can of Rockstar Blue, he’d have the red one later.) He noticed a slight smile on his eldest sibling’s face as he went to go and sit with them. “That’s something of a shame Mituna. I had rather hoped you’d be able to beat it so you could earn that prize . . .” Almeis said airily, watching Mituna’s expression carefully.

“I’M SORRY” he sighed, hanging his head and staring sadly into his milk. Sollux thought it was amazing to watch such an extreme spectrum of emotions display themselves so sincerely on someone’s face. The fact Mituna couldn’t hide his feelings usually outed him when he was trying to lie and cover something up. 

“Well, it seems you’re in luck” Almeis stated. “After speaking with Voland, he has agreed to let you do some work for us handing out promotional leaflets for the club when we’re open. Remember how we spoke about this?” he asked, sipping his tea as Sol’s eyes flickered between the two. Almeis had been trying to get Mituna a job so that he would have some work experience, as he hated the idea of Mituna being treated like an invalid all the time - almost as much as Sollux did. He himself felt relieved to hear that he would at least have a chance at some responsibilities, other than the small amounts of housework he was able to do, as it meant he would get to have something of a life outside the house.

“YETH.”

“Then I think, in celebration of your employment, I could give you your prize anyway.”

“AWWWWWWWWWWHH YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Mituna’s eyes lit up behind that thick black fringe, and he looked this way and that as if expecting to see a box of some kind. However so such thing appeared, making the two younger Captors frown at one another. "GIMMIE THE THING U PRICK."

"I am never failed to be astounded by your impatience." Almeis tutted, pulling out his wallet and placing two tickets onto the table. Sol himself was curious as to why there were only two there, before Almeis shot him a look he knew all too well. Fuck.

“Holy shit, it's almost like you totally disregarded any plans i may have. Fucking incredible. . . Ungh . . . It's Saturday tomorrow anyway, I guess. Where am I taking him?” Sollux groaned, rubbing his temples as he accepted this easily as he could. He was always the one to take Mituna on days out as Almeis worked so much. Not that it was too much of a problem, as his days would otherwise be spent glued to his computer screen and bering badgered by Karkat, so at least he got to go out as well. Besides, most 17 year olds were out on the weekend at parties or trying to score booze among other activities, which was something he'd been invited along to. Sure, he didn't really mind them but he didn't actively seek out social meetings like that, so an excuse to avoid an invitation from his ex to her party tomorrow seemed like a God send more than anything.

“The Dark Carnival is in town. I overheard a few of the staff members went to see it the other week and they said it was brilliant, though certainly not for children. These tickets are for the matinee performance at 8pm tomorrow.” Almeis droned, pushing the tickets towards Sol. “Bring your passport though, as you’ll need to prove you're over 16 . . . er . . . Mituna’s as well. The last thing I want is for you to walk in and then get sent home again.”

“So it’s like a circus-? Wait, you mean this is what the huge purple tents on South Common are for?” Sollux frowned, ignoring the excited gibberish Mituna was spouting. South Common was a huge set of fields, rising up to what was one of the many large hills that circled the city of Newark from the rest of the world. It was common ground, so a lot of people usually went there for Sunday football, or funfairs when they came to town. “Me and KK saw them setting up last weekend when we took Suffy for a walk.”

“Yes, that’s where its located, it seems. I’ll give you taxi fare and what not, as I don't think it’s wise to walk to South Common in the dark. Mituna won't be starting work till next Saturday anyway, so it makes sense that he should enjoy his last free weekend” Almeis mused, setting his cup down and then getting up. “Do make sure that you both do your the chores . I will unload the HDD's from your towers if I have to unload the dishwasher again.”

“IT WAS SOLSTH FUCKING FAULT, HE CHALLENGED ME TO 2PLAYEEDTH SONIC” Mituna whined, getting up as well to try and avoid a scolding. Not that the scolding had been that bad, Almeis was particularly tired and seemed to be taking it easy on the eloquent wordings that usually left his head spinning.

“Fuck off, Mituna. You challenged me by pretending that you’d completed it” Sol grumbled. 

“FUCK YOU.”

“I'm going to launch my cup as a projectile towards one of you, do you really wish to stand around and find out whom it is or are you going toget some saucepans out before I cancel my pre-orders?” Almeis muttered, getting up to start pulling things out of the cupboard. Mituna and Sollux couldn’t cook for shit, so Chef’s duty was always left to Almeis.

“Yeah, right!” Sollux snorted. “You play that game more than I do!”

“Saucepans.” said Almeis in a tone so cold the window's may well have frosted over. 

“Fine, fine . . . I’m going to go let KK know I won't be going to that party tomorrow” he sighed, feigning disappointment as Mituna tilted his head.

“YOURED NOT OUT TWO GET SUM PUSSTHY THEN?”

He facepalmed so hard that he thought his glasses might break, ignoring the sound of Almeis scolding Mituna over hysterical sniggers. It was going to be a fairly average night at the Captors, it seemed.

 

\--twinArmegeddons began pestering CarcinoGenetacist--  
TA: hey numbnut2.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BOTHERING ME ABOUT NOW?  
TA: a2 iif ii would ever want anythiing from you a2iide2 from two check you haven't fucked thii2 computer up liike your la2t one.  
TA: ii'm not comiing out tomorrow for CC'2 party.  
CG: WOAH, SURPRISE OF THE CENTURY! SOLLUX HAS TURNED DOWN A PARTY INVITATION. CALL THE BBC WE HAVE A HEADLINE.  
CG: I DON’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHY ANYONE BOTHERS TO INVITE YOU TO THIS SHIT.  
CG: THIS IS THE FOURTH INVITATION IN A ROW YOU’VE TURNED DOWN. DO YOU JUST RECEIVE THEM AND THEN SHRED THEM UP IN YOUR SHITTY TEETH?   
TA: real mature draggiing my teeth iintwo thiis so early, you must've been wastiing anythiing remotely good screamiing at your brother.  
CG: SAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT MADE A FUCKING HUGE BLUE DONG SHOW UP ON MY SCREEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LESSON WHILST THE TUTOR WAS CHECKING MY FUCKING WORK.  
TA: you 2hould hiide your dong2 better.  
CG: I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY ON MY COMPUTER TO BEGIN WITH. YOU WERE JUST BEING A GRADE A ASSHOLE.  
TA: ii need to keep thii2 a2 2hort a2 ii need two go and eat diinner 2o read the next liines carefully from now on.  
TA: ii'm not comiing tomorrow becau2e ii have two take Miitz out.  
CG: THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN THAT IF I HADN’T MET THE GUY I’D THINK YOU WERE MAKING ONE FUCKING LAME ASS ATTEMPT AT AN EXCUSE.  
TA: whatever. food call2, ii have 2hiit two do and that doe2n't iinclude gettiing biitched at by almeii2.  
TA: ii'll catch you onliine on 2unday iif you fancy tryiing two farm a land for grii2t.  
CG: YEAH I’M UP FOR THAT. DON’T FUCKING KILL YOUR CHARACTER’S DREAM SELF THIS TIME. I DON’T KNOW HOW THE FUCK YOU ENDED UP WITH TWO.  
TA: gtg, diinner, al2o, the 2burb mmo update wiill be due out toniight 2o leave your computer on 2o the cliient can do iit2 shiit.  
CG: HOW FUCKING STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM.  
TA: enough that you ran the BAT file ii 2ent you and told you not to open.  
CG: THAT WAS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND YOU STILL NEED TO FIX THAT INSTEAD OF JUST REINSTALLING EVERYTHING LIKE SOME CLEAN SLATE IS GOING TO CORRECT THE UNGODLY AMOUNT OF SHIT THAT SPREAD FROM THAT.  
CG: FUCK YOU LEFT THIS RUNNING?  
CG: AT LEAST CLOSE YOUR DAMN WINDOWS BEFORE YOU FUCK OFF SHITBITE, ALSO JUST SO YOU KNOW SPRITING MY LUSUS IN THIS GAME DIDN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS UNBEARABLE, WHY DID I EVEN FUCKING LISTEN TO YOU?  
\--CarcinoGenetacist [CG] ceased pestering twinArmegeddons [TA] --


	2. Brotherly Bruisings

Backpack? Check.  
Books? Check.  
Small rectangular tin with tobacco, Rizla and filters? Check.  
Wait . . .  
Where the motherfuck was his pencil case?

Scratching his badly dyed dark purple hair, he swiped a few empty Faygo bottles off the table. Huh. Gamzee Makara wasn’t entirely sure where his pencil case could have gotten to in his messy little caravan - or if he’d even remembered to buy one. His short term memory was incredibly unreliable, given his recreational habits, but he figured the item would appear in his backpack in time for Monday morning. Things had a way of working out real sweet like that in his experience. 

“Can’t fucking up and expect shit to just stay put, now, can I?” he muttered to himself, pushing the backpack into the unknown mess of his abode for the moment before plodding down to the other end of his home. 

Being a clown for the Dark Carnival was all he’d ever known, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love it. The thrill of the crowd, the screams of horror and amazement when the show got into full swing; there really wasn’t anything quite like it. However, his father was getting fed up with how badly Gamzee’s education was going. A nomadic life meant he’d been mostly taught by private tutors that his dad had paid for (they made a fair amount of money,) but Gamzee would usually fail to follow through, either by ignoring the banging on his door or by being too intoxicated to really listen in the first place. As such, the circus had stationed itself in Newark city so that Gamzee could retake his GCSEs after his dad had ‘convinced’ the headmaster to let him in. It was rumoured to involve one of the many favours owed to the eldest Makara, but Gamzee wasn’t one to pry. 

A sudden banging on his trailer door slowly brought Gamzee back to reality, or at least close enough to go and answer it. He stuffed the bag of sopor he’d been planning to smoke into his back pocket. Sopor was his shit. A pretty strong strain of cannabis that was cut with a sedative and sold in block form. It was bordering class A in potency, but until the courts passed that decision, it was still a class B drug as far as the police and its users were concerned. 

“What the motherfuck do you want?” Gamzee yawned, opening the door with a mind to strike up a conversation, though his disposition changed when he saw who it was. “Oh . . . Howdy doo-dee, Bro,” he said airily, a dopey smile spreading to match his tone as he greeted his older brother. It went without much appreciation though as the tall mute rolled his eyes and started moving his fingers about in a flurry of signs.

:IF A SIN WAS EMBODIED WITHIN YOUR UGLY ASS, IT WOULD BE SLOTH. GET YOUR CARCASS OUT HERE, THOSE CLUBS AREN’T GONNA HURL THEMSELVES AND DAD’S GONNA UP AND KICK THE SHIT INTO YOU IF YOU’RE NOT ON THE MOTHERFUCKIN BALL:

“Awwh, Kurloz. You know that fucking ball ain’t my strong point. Dad kicks my ass for just about anything. Guy’s got his fucking nose right up in my business. Dude needs to smoke up some miracles and chill.” Gamzee groaned, stepping out of the trailer and not even bothering to close the door. Kurloz looked down at Gamzee (which was impressive as Gamzee easily stood at 6 feet, Kurloz himself being taller still at 6’4”) and flicked his sibling’s temple as they began to walk.

:THERE WILL BE A CELEBRATORY ASS KICKING ON YOU IF THIS ATTITUDE IS THE SHIT YOU CHOSE TO BE PRESENTING TO THE GHB, OUR FATHER IS NONE FOR THIS NOISE YOU KEEP FUCKIN HIS SHIT UP WITH. ITS A SELL-OUT TONIGHT, SHIT’S GOTTA BE UP AND FUCKING BEYOND PERFECT. THAT STELLAR FALL YOU HAD LAST TIME YOU FLIPPED WAS YOUR OWN MOTHERFUCKIN FAULT. IF YOU WANTED TO HAVE A DATE WITH GRAVITY AND BROKEN BONES, THIS BROTHER COULD'VE ARRANGED YOUR STUPID SELF BEIN THROWN OFF THE TERROR WHEEL:

He had a point. Hell, he always had a point. Even if they occasionally ended up physically punching each other as a result of some of their squabbles, the two of them were fairly close. Gamzee figured their dad, aka GHB (so called because he was a ‘Giant Hulking Bastard’ of a man) would’ve been harsher on him if it weren’t for Kurloz mediating for the two of them. Nevertheless, he usually endured a hell of a beating when he got out of line and the last fuck up he’d made had earned him the busted lip and black eye he was so elegantly sporting today. The Makaras were used to it, though, and thought nothing of it. To them, it was normal.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll fucking practise with you now if you shut the fuck up and take me to the ring. Fuck, Bro, stitched lips didn’t fucking keep you off my motherfucking back, did it?” Gamzee growled, shoving Kurloz roughly. 

Kurloz smirked a bit as he returned the gesture, nearly toppling Gamzee over. Common folk were always shocked to see a man with a wholly-stitched mouth, and it made most avoid Kurloz entirely when they were out and about. The mute didn’t seem to mind this at all. If anything, it was the people who came up to him and stated how ‘unique’ and ‘cool’ it was that seemed to irritate him most. Gamzee recalled one time Kurloz had punched a lad with lip piercings for thinking that the stitches were a similar thing. Why he had stitched his lips though? Well, no one really knew. A bizarre night out two years ago had resulted in the mime getting incredibly intoxicated and he’d very nearly harmed his ex fiancée. What happened afterwards was left in mystery. Kurloz had left Meulin at her house, and then the next day, he’d showed up at the circus, lips sewn and very hungover. 

GHB had smacked Kurloz around the head hard enough to give him a mild concussion before telling him to make use of it. As such, Kurloz became the greatest mime the world had ever seen.

:MAYBE WE OUGHT TO DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR AND DO THE SAME FOR YOU. LITTLE BRO NEEDS TO WATCH WHAT SHIT HE SPOUTS.:

Gamzee rolled his eyes, half-tempted to snap his brother’s fingers off to avoid reading his snarky signs. “So aggressive, man. You’d be better off just chilling the fuck out too.”

:I’LL CHILL THE MOTHERFUCK OUT WHEN YOU’VE UPPED AND GOT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. MIRACLES NEED TO FUCKING WORK THEIR MAGIC ON YOU BRO IF YOU’RE EVER GOING TO MEASURE UP TO DAD. THIS SHIT WON’T RUN IF HE GETS FUCKIN BACK IN THE SLAMMER. LEAST YOU GOT YOUR FUCKIN PAINT ON, HONK HONK:

That stitched smile was nothing less than creepy, plastered on his face, but Gamzee could still see a small hint of pride. Makaras belonged at the circus like fish belonged in the water and GHB had made the Dark Carnival one of the best. It had been intended that Kurloz would suceed him someday, with Gamzee as his second in command. The eighteen-year-old clown wasn’t really sure if he wanted all that responsibility, though. All he wanted to do was perform and waste away in his trailer getting stoned. 

He gave a dark laugh as Kurloz mentioned the facepaint that the two of them were rarely seen without. “Don’t get your fucking hopes up. I passed out last night wearing this shit.”

Kurloz chuckled regardless, the noise rumbling in his throat, and gave Gamzee a light smack on the back of his head as they entered the large purple tent. 

:READY TO PRACTICE MAKING THE SPOTLIGHT YOUR BITCH?:

Gamzee grinned and stuck both his middle fingers up. “Honk honk, motherfucker.”

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

The fact that Mituna was currently holding tissue under his bloody nose as they waited for a taxi was testament to how difficult their evening had been.

“MY NOSETH HURTH” he grumbled, still looking watery-eyed and grouchy. Sollux rubbed his temples in annoyance. Everything had been running so smoothly earlier. He’d gotten up in the morning, found the full kettle Almeis left for him as usual, and they’d both had tea. Then breakfast, then some time playing video games, and he’d even managed to convince Mituna to have a bath without too much fuss. However, everything had come undone later in the afternoon.

Almeis’s typical work day usually ended in the early evening, but today he’d needed to stay late. He had called home and told Sollux to order some pizza in, and for some reason, Mituna had decided this meant they weren't going to the circus. He’d thrown one hell of a tantrum as a result. Sollux knew the smorgasbord of tears and obscenities left little room for reason. He was far too familiar with them to even try. He’d let Mituna throw his tantrum and speak to him once he’d calmed down. 

Why Mituna got so upset over this, he’d never understand, but once he’d explained they were still going out, the damaged man had gotten overexcited, which was another problem in itself. He’d rushed around the house, wanting to go see the circus as soon as possible, and had somehow, in his rush to get ready, managed to misjudge the stopping distance between himself and the wall. Sollux’s ears were still ringing from how loudly Mituna had cursed and wailed post-impact.

“This is what you get for flipping your shit over the slightest thing. Fuck . . . Maybe we should get you back on meds. At least you were easier to handle back then.” Sollux groaned, ignoring Mituna’s sad expression behind the bloody tissue.

“I’M SORRY.”

“You don’t know what you’re even sorry for, Mitz. You’re just saying that because I’m pissed off. You were such a fucking brat today” he snapped. 

“I’M SORRY AGAIN . . .”

A moment or two passed and Sollux began to feel a bit guilty. He hadn’t meant to snap at Mituna, but sometimes dealing with him was so stressful that things slipped out. But it wasn’t Mituna’s fault. Cooped up in the house with so much energy to burn, it was little wonder why Mituna had these outbursts. Even skateboarding in the garden didn’t seem to help anymore. Sollux had hoped that Mituna would be a bit more fulfilled when he started working with Almeis. He wasn’t entirely sure how it was going to work, but he figured Almeis had thought it through, so he wasn’t worried. 

He lightly papped Mituna’s shoulder and removed the bloody tissue. It seemed that the bleeding had stopped for the time being, and there wasn’t too much of a mess.

“. . . Sorry for being a dick, Mitz” he said quietly, using a fresh tissue from his pocket to wipe up what he could of the dried blood.

“ITH OK.” Mituna grinned, moving towards Sollux in a very haphazard attempt at a hug. 

Mituna’s hugs were a rare treasure, as most times, he did not like being touched. Touching was a special privilege reserved for a few. The only other person apart from family members that Mituna had ever had any physical contact with was his ex-girlfriend Latula. She had been a nice girl from what Sollux could remember, and Mituna had been pretty happy about the relationship, despite the fact that he’d barely ever kiss her, let alone go any further. In the end, they’d drifted apart and their relationship ended. Almeis and Sollux didn’t blame her, though. Everyone has needs.

“The taxi will be showing up soon. Are you warm?” He asked, checking that Mituna’s yellow hoodie was on properly, along with his dark brown beanie. The September weather clung to the humidity of summer, but there was still a definite chill in the air from what he could feel. Mituna was so prone to getting sick that Sollux wasn’t going to risk it.

“YETH.”

“Good . . . Let me just check you’ve got everything in your bag.”

“YETH,” he repeated, turning so that Sollux could access the backpack he was wearing. 

Inside was a change of underwear, some trousers, a spare top, numerous wallets, Sol’s gameboy (he was certain this circus was going to bore the shit out of him, might as well level grind), a bag of lollipops, and finally, his phone. A change of clothes was essential as sometimes Mituna was a victim of unfortunate incidents where bladder control failed. 

It never failed to break Sollux’s heart. Not because it was sad, but because Mituna would be horribly quiet and ashamed, something that was not in Mituna’s character at all. He was rarely ashamed of anything that he did. Thankfully, Sollux always made sure Mituna went to the loo before they went anywhere, and made sure to take him to the bathroom when they went out. Still, accidents happened, and so he was certain to be prepared.

“Sweet. We’re all set to go, Mitz” he smiled, papping Mituna’s back. “I’ll take the bag when we get to the circus though. I’ll be fucked if I let any fucking chavs try and nick it.”

“YETH.”

“Er . . . are you listening?”

“YETH NO.”

“. . . Alright . . . Dark Carnival. What sort of shitty name is that, anyway?” He mumbled to himself, watching as the taxi pulled up. “It’ll be boring as fuck, I hope. Then I can laugh at KK for saying it was scary as shit. What a dick.”

Mituna looked at Sollux, then to the taxi and back again. “WILLTH YOU JHUSTH GETH INTHE FUCKINGHT CAR SO WE CAN GO?”

-=-=-

When they arrived at South Common, Sollux had felt like openly weeping at the sight of the seemingly endless queue of spectators.

“ITH IS LIEK A BIGTH PEOPLE SNAKE,” Mituna observed, pointing at the winding line. 

“Yeah . . . I don’t think we need to get into that line though.” Sollux muttered, trying to find a ticket stand. 

Thankfully for both of them, Almeis had the foresight to make sure they were to be seated in the disabled section due to Mituna’s special needs, and Sollux made a mental note to thank his eldest brother later. Mituna’s aversion to touch also meant he didn’t like being seated close to others either, and if Sollux was honest with himself, it was probably the best thing about going to events like these with his brother.

After a few minutes of wandering about trying to find their entrance proved fruitless, Sollux finally considered asking one of the stewards for direction. He spotted a green eyed female with long hair and a hi vis jacket and headed towards her, assuming she was part of the staff. Her glittery green cat ears made Sollux assume she must have been a circus worker as well, before he patted her arm lightly.

“Er, excuse me. We’re in the disabled section, but I’m not sure how to get to it” Sollux said. Mituna clung to one of his arms, looking fairly shocked to see her attire.

“SHETH A CATH” he said, in a whisper that couldn’t have been any louder if he’d tried. Sollux aimed a sharp nudge into his brother’s ribs to shut him up and received a yelp of pain in response.

The worker giggled to herself and winked at Mituna as she grinned wide enough to show the elongated canines she was equipped with. 

“You bet I am! I’ll take you pawesome guys over to the tent. You know we totally sold out tonight apart from the disabled area! It’ll be like your own VIP box!” She grinned as she started walking towards the huge purple tents, eerie and foreboding in the distance as shrieks and screeches of laughter sounded out from behind them.

“You’ll need to show your tickets, though, and ID. Can’t have any little kittens sneaking in with the big cats, now, can we?”

The cat puns would have been funny if she wasn’t speaking too fluidly for them to be an act, as well as the fact that she was speaking very loudly. Sollux was wondering if those canines were the result of dental surgery as Mituna stared at her jacket.

“WHY THE GLOWTHY YELLOW? YELLOW CAT?” He frowned, pointing at it. 

The girl looked at it and then to Mituna. 

“Our steward wasn’t feline very well so I stood in for him. Poor Droog, he got hit real hard with heat stroke. Anyway, see that booth there with the little kitty cat? Just go wave your ticket at her and she’ll lead you right in” she said, pointing to a girl who looked like a smaller version of herself. 

Sollux wondered if they were perhaps twins, but as he approached the shorter haired girl, he realised she was too young for that to be so. When they got closer, he realised she was probably a few years younger than he was. A big shiny badge in the shape of a paw print told Sollux her name was Nepeta, and Mituna was already waving at her enthusiastically.

“WE CAMTHET TWO SEETH THE FUCKINGSUCRISSHITHWEIUHR!”

“Mitz, calm down . . . Er, he means we’re here for the circus. We’ve got disabled seating and the . . . other cat- I mean, girl, told us to speak to you?” he said, pulling off the backpack and starting to open it up.

“I’ll get you cats seated when I’ve seen your ID and your tickets!” she beamed, smiling at Mituna as he babbled on about how rad her ears were and asking why he hadn’t grown any. Nepeta giggled and rolled with it. The way she spoke about her cat ears was so passionate, anyone would have thought she really was a cat girl. But Sollux knew better. He pulled out the things she had asked for. “Here” he said, passing them over.

Carefully reading the tickets, she smiled and nodded in approval.

“Meowtuna and Pawllux, alright! I have to tell you some information first. The disabled section is ringside, and if you need the toilet during the show, we have marked out a pawesome little trail for you in pawprints to follow! You won't be able to miss it! The show is about an hour and a half long without intermission. Are you ready to go and see the show? We’ll get you in before everyone else so yowl can get settled!” she beamed, handing them their things back.

The three of them walked past the booth and into the darkness of the tent where the house lights barely gave away how the interior looked. It was a typical circus setup, the huge ring in the middle, with a tightrope strung across the two poles. It was like they had walked into a different and much darker world; however, as Sollux noted, the place was decorated with fake bones, skulls and various other supposedly scary things. Mituna didn’t seem creeped out at all, however, as he was staring at the line of pawprints that lead to their seating area. It was like a little box that had been stuck in front of the rest of the seating, and aside from one or two chairs out of place, it was clearly intended for wheelchair users.

“Here you go, guys! Enjoy the show, okay?” Nepeta grinned, giving them a wave and then walking off. 

Once she was gone, they sat down and got as comfortable as they could. Sollux was very grateful that Mituna wasn’t the type who would run out in the middle of a show. He was much happier to sit back and watch as visions of possible incidents made his stomach flip. No: he was very, very grateful Mituna wasn’t the type to do that, where large crowds and strange places were concerned. Had it been a more familiar place, Sollux would have had more of a reason to worry.

“I’M EXCITEDHT PAWLUCS.” Mituna grinned, bopping up and down in his seat as he watched people starting to fill the rest of the seating.

“No, we’re not doing that. Its Sollux or Sol, you have those two options and that is it” he snapped, cursing that stupid cat girl. His brother sniggered and stared at the ring, bored already, watching the tent begin to fill. 

Soon enough, the entire tent was filled to the brim with spectators and the buzz of conversation was starting to grate on Sollux’s nerves. He was never the type for these sorts of outings, and after making sure Mituna wasn’t too unsettled by the rise of activity, he reached towards the backpack, pulling on his lap and opening it.

“Look, Mituna, this might take awhile, so I’m going to just play on my G-” Sollux began, but was cut short by the tight grip Mituna had on his arm as the lights suddenly cut without warning. A startled silence fell on the crowd in momentary shock before a voice started to speak out from the darkness.

“LADIES AND MOTHERFUCKING GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS . . .” came a husky, vicious sounding voice over the speakers. The entire tent was silent as the lights began to rise on the ring, lighting it up and spinning about. There was a figure in the middle - that much was clear - but who or what it was wasn’t revealed until the spotlights suddenly shone on one spot.

Stood in the very centre of the ring at the attention of the crowd and spotlight was a tall man in a skeleton suit with wild black hair, his mouth apparently stitched closed as he mimed and gestured, whilst the voice began to speak once more.

“WELCOME TO THE DARK MOTHERFUCKING CARNIVAL, BROTHERS AND SISTERS. YOU WILL BE AMAZED, HORRIFIED, SURPRISED AND PULLED INTO A WORLD OF MIRTHFUL MIRACLES AS WE SHOW YOU WONDERS AND TERRORS FROM AROUND THE WORLD. SO, SIT BACK, ENJOY THE SHOW AND TRY NOT TO SCREAM.”

The mime seemed to turn on the spot and look their way, so Sollux looked at Mituna, expecting him to be freaked out and ready to bolt, but was surprised to see his brother was utterly fixated on the performer, an unreadable expression upon his face as he stared unblinking and in awe. Sollux was about to ask what was wrong when there was a loud bang from the ring, and he turned back to see the mime had disappeared in a flurry of purple smoke. In his place, several other performers cartwheeled out and started doing various contortions and other things. The show had gotten off to an impressive start, and Sollux just knew that Mituna would find this amazing, turning once more to look at him. He wasn’t smiling.

“Mitz?”

His brother simply looked confused, as if looking for something, and Sollux really had no idea what that something could or might have been. He decided he was probably just a bit confused at what was going on and paid it no mind, settling back into his seat to watch the cartwheeling performers. 

The show resumed regardless of any confusion from Mituna, and the two Captor brothers watched on as there were points of amazement and horror, such as the blue man who lifted up both of the cat girls on one arm, as well as several other impossibly heavy items, a tightrope act, acrobats, some really gory magic tricks that made Sollux want to vomit a few times, a trapeze artist who scared everyone shitless by pretending to fall to her death, all strung together with a light show that could only be described as ‘an epileptic acid trip’. The crowd oohed and ahhed in all the right places. and screamed right when they were supposed to, and even Sollux himself was dragged into the atmosphere of it all. Glances back at his brother though showed him that Mituna was still looking for something, like he couldn’t concentrate on anything at all, but before Sollux could make sure if he really was okay, Mituna’s eyes widened with the next act as indigo smoke filled the ring once again.

Once it faded, creepy carnival music filled the tent, and the forms of several clowns appeared where the smoke had been, each doing their own thing and of all shapes and sizes, but the ones that gained the most attention were the lanky mime from the start who was somehow balancing a similar looking clown on his hand, showing an impressive display of strength. The clown being balanced was sporting a hazed look, a black eye that was obvious even under the thick paint and juggling several clubs. He had a Capricorn sign on his shirt, and just as Sollux was wondering why that was, he saw the clown in question shoot him a wicked grin as the clubs were juggled. How these two performers were doing this trick, Sollux didn’t know, and he gasped as the clown backflipped off the mime, landing perfectly on his feet and cartwheeling off to do some other tricks. 

Anyone who looked at Mituna would see that his eyes never left the mime for a second, soaking in each movement and such like a sponge, although he looked more like a deer caught in the headlights than anything else. The ensemble of clowns performed various acrobatics and some particularly hair raising flips as well as juggling various things. There was naturally a few funny moments before the entire show came to a finale with some fire breathing and pyrotechnics that ended with the two main clowns blowing fireballs so close to the crowd that it might have been breaking a million health and safety rules at once. As it came to an end, they all took a bow to a huge round of applause that was so noisy, Sollux didn’t hear the scrape of a chair next to him. After a short encore performance from the cat girls, there was another applause before the performers left and the house lights came back up, brightening the area up vastly as Sollux slumped back in his chair. He hadn't realised that he’d been sat on the edge of his seat. It took him a few minutes to adjust to the lights and the buzz of people starting to leave as his head was still spinning a little from the flashing lights he’d been subjected to for the last hour and a half. It had been a hell of a show after all, and he was grateful he’d been able to see it. Almeis probably would’ve enjoyed it, so he figured he’d stay awake to tell him about it when he got home. For now, though, he seemed to have come back down to reality and was ready to go.

“Woah, that shit was really intense, wasn’t it, Mitz?” he said as he picked up the bag to get ready to leave, before he realized his brother was no longer next to him. 

“. . . FUCK!”


	3. Face paint shouldn't be attractive.

Stepping back into the ring, it seemed so different, now that the crowd was gone. The cheers and shrieks of terror were absent, and in its place was a ghostly emptiness that was amplified by the eerie indigo hues that decorated the place. Kurloz could have sworn he’d walked into a totally different tent if it wasn’t for the fact he was so familiar with it. No one knew the tents of the Dark Carnival quite like the star of the show.

All the other performers were out making sure the spectators cleared the area or counting the takings from tonight’s show, so he was able to have this place to himself. Normally Kurloz would oversee things, but tonight, like many other nights, he’d decided to spend some time alone in the main tent to calm down from the buzz of performing. Gamzee might have hit the sopur for his kicks, but the mute was far more addicted to dazzling the crowds as his drug of choice.

Walking out into the centre of the ring, he took a bow before the invisible crowd and smiled a little to himself before standing back up. He flung his arms open wide to all of them, inhaling the feeling he got as he imagined he was opening the show all over again and half expecting his father’s voice to sound over the speakers. What he didn’t expect to hear however, was an excitable voice coming from his left.

“DO THE FLIPPY THINGTH!”

There weren’t many things that made Kurloz Makara jump, but that had given him the fright of his life, and he turned suddenly to glare at the source of this interruption. No one interrupted him, and this fool would pay dearly for doing so.

Stood near the ringside seating was a man in a yellow hoodie, and with hair that covered any line of sight he may have had. Kurloz half wondered how the other could even see as he folded his arms, looking over this idiot who seemed to think intruding on his carnival was a good idea. Obviously, this stupidly grinning moron was some drunkard who probably thought it would be funny to stow away after the show. Kurloz did not take kindly to such behaviour and had a right mind to punch this guy’s lights out. as well as wipe the stupid grin from his face. Out of habit, he signed as he walked.

:I’LL SHOW YOU A MOTHERFUCKING TRICK YOU WON’T WANT TO FORGET.:

His aggressive expression was wasted on the other man though, as his face lit up at the sight of Kurloz’s signs. “FUCK YETH I LOVEDTH TRICKSTH.” He said as he walked right up to the mime and gawped up at him. “ICNATH- IMEATH . . . UH, I WANTHT TWO SEE THE TRICK PLEASETH?”

Kurloz stared right back, pale eyes wide now he was seeing the guy’s face up close, and unable to avoid inhaling that sickly sweet smell coming from him. It was soon apparent that this wasn’t a case of a drunken stowaway. An absence of any alcoholic stench was a giveaway for one, but there was more to it than that. He looked a little closer at the smiling face; things started to click into place. Observing the genuine excitement in this man’s eyes, he wondered if the understanding of his signs and the way he spoke was due to something else. Then there was the lack of fear at being face to face with a juggalo with stitched lips. The smile hadn’t faltered at all and Kurloz thought this fellow was either stupid or . . . Ah. Now it was clear that perhaps this stowaway had special needs. The clown sighed a little and softened, wagging his finger at the other.

:YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?:

“MITUNA.” came the reply, almost immediately as he made a unique sign with his hands, as if to show Kurloz that was the sign for his name. “MY NAMETH ITH MITUNANANAN EHEHEHEHIWUHRIWUEHREIAWURIWU UHHH . . . JUSTGH MITUNA.”

The twitching outburst that Mituna had just displayed made Kurloz’s eyes widen. This guy was just full of surprises, and in a bid to try calm him down a little, he gestured for Mituna to hold his hand out flat. Mituna complied right away and looked curious to see what was going to happen next as Kurloz took the hand in his own and very carefully using his finger like a pencil, he spelt his name out.

“K . . . U . . . R . . . L . . . O . . . Z . . . M . . . A . . . K . . . A . . . R . . . A . . . KURLOTHZ MAKARA?”

:YES.:

Letting go of the hand, he looked as Mituna observed his own hand like he expected there to be writing on it, before giving a slight twitch. The way his body had jerked made Kurloz wonder if the twitches that Mituna experienced were painful or not, but he didn’t have time to think on it much as the other beamed at him again.  
“I LIEKTH THATH YOU CAN SIGNTH, ITH MAKSETH ITH EASEY TWO UNDERSTHADN.” Mituna stated, nodding his head and folding his arms like he was attempting to be serious. “WORDSTH I CANOT . . . BUTH ICANTH SIGNTHS ATH GOOD ATH YOU BECAUSEH MY HANDS DONT ALWAYS LISTEN.” If it hadn’t been the fact that his lisp and puff of hair made him look ridiculous (and perhaps endearingly cute in a really strange fucking way to Kurloz), the clown would have been able to stop the smile that was spreading across his own face.

:YOUR HANDS DON’T LISTEN?:

Mituna’s puff of hair bounced as he shook his head. “NOPE, LOOK.”

Taking a small step forward and removing his brown beanie hat, Mituna lifted his thick fringe up and used a slightly trembling hand to point at his forehead. The first thing that struck Kurloz as odd was the circular scar that dented it, like something had impaled his skull at some point, but his interest in that was only fleeting when he saw that Mituna had two different coloured eyes. One was blue, but the other one lacked any pigment whatsoever and making it pink in colour. He’d never seen someone with partial albinism before even with his many years in the circus.

:NICE SET OF PEEPERS YOU GOT THERE, BRO.: He signed, pointing at Mituna’s eyes afterwards. He wasn’t going to question what he figured was some sort of brain damage. Afterall, this was the first time he’d spoken to someone who looked at his own eyes rather than the stitching of his mouth.

“THANK YOUTH. I LIEK HAVING EYESTH.” Mituna chuckled, letting his fringe drop and then acted incredibly sheepish, as if he was hiding some awful secret. “PLEATH DONTH TELLED MY BROTHER I SNUCKTHED AWAY” he whispered, looking this way and that as if he expected someone to come after him. Kurloz frowned a little and wondered why on earth Mituna had wandered away from his brother (who he assumed doubled as his carer.)

:WHY YOU UP AND GETTING YOUR SNEAK ON?:

Mituna rolled his eyes as if Kurloz had asked him the most idiotic question on the planet before he took a breath and pointed at the mime. “I CAMETH TWO SAY HELLOETH TWO YOU.”

Standing very still and staring for the moment, Kurloz was stunned. He’d had fans and various other people who had wanted to meet him and such because he was a performer and because he was famous on the circuit, but something told him that Mituna’s reasons for meeting him were different, judging by the lack of fawning from him and the absence of starry eyed compliments.

:WHY?: he signed, simply wondering if Mituna even had any reasons.

“BECAUSETH ITH NICETH TWO TALK TWO SOMEONTH. I CAN’T . . . UNDERTHSTNAD THE WORDS SOEMTIMETH . . . BUT I CAN READTH” he said and then pointed at Kurloz’s hands. “ANDTH I WANT TWO TALKTH TWO YOU. YOU’RE REALLY TALL SO I RECKONTH YOU HAVE SEEN LOTHS OF COOL SHIT.”

A strange melting feeling formed as he listened to Mituna explain himself, and Kurloz smiled one of the warmest smiles he’d done in a long time, patting Mituna’s shoulder gently. It was hard not to smile around someone who was so sincere and without hidden agenda. In fact, he thought it was strangely sweet. That, and it was nice that someone other than Gamzee or his ex-girlfriend could read his signs so fluently.

:I HAVE SEEN LOTS OF COOL SHIT, I GUESS. THOUGH, I OWE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING TRICK.: he signed, smiling as much as his stitches would allow him to do so as he watched Mituna’s face split into an over excited grin.

“FUCK YETH LETS DO THIS SHIT!” he buzzed, sniggering incessantly afterwards as he took the hand Kurloz had offered him, allowing himself to be lead over to where the juggling clubs were. Strangely, the cheery disposition of Mituna seemed to be rubbing off on him.

-=-

Face to face with what was probably the tallest person he’d encountered in a while, Sollux was feeling none of his 5’7” as he craned his neck up at the clown who was smiling dopey eyed at him.

“You patted my shoulder, Brother?” he asked, his voice raspy from smoking one too many cigarettes. It was fairly obvious this clown was a heavy smoker from the stench of weed that seemed embedded into his clothes.

“Yeah, I’ve lost my brother. He’s 5’9” and was last seen in the tent. I need to go find him.” Sollux stated in irritation, rubbing his temples as he looked at the performer through the dual-coloured lenses of his glasses. A mess of dark hair and the same juggalo face paint made it fairly obvious that this was the guy he’d seen earlier in the show, especially now he'd noticed the Capricorn sign on his t-shirt.

“You sure you saw that, motherfucker? Those lenses look trippy as fuck.” The clown noted, swaying a little on the spot as he gestured for Sollux to follow him. “I’m not up and supposed to let fuckers back into the tent, but we can’t have someone stowing away after a show. Dad’ll be pissssssssssssssed” he grinned, hissing the S's as he checked to make sure Sollux was following him.

For some reason, Sollux half felt like adding another black eye to this idiot’s face but refrained from saying such, glaring a bit because his glasses were mentioned. He didn’t wear them because he wanted to, but removed them anyway, as for some reason, the mere fact this juggalo had felt the need to mention it got under his skin. “Hey, Mitz has brain damage. He didn’t do this shit on purpose!” He snapped, catching up to the lanky clown as best as he could.

“Oh, well. I guess that sorta changes thing- woah!” The circus freak suddenly stopped in his tracks and paused to examine Sollux, staring right up close at his face as if he’d seen something he’d never come across. The smaller teen glared right back, narrowing his eyes before it dawned on him what the clown was staring at. “Ungh . . . For fuck’s sake. Yes, I know; my eyes are two different colours. It’s partial albinism, called Psiioniic syndrome. Headaches and the sort, yadda fucking yadda. Stop staring and bear in mind that I’m not the one in fucking face paint.”

The clown merely tilted his head and Sollux couldn’t work out if there was a slight sneer or if the dopey smile that had been on the taller teenager’s face was now looking strangely creepier than before. “Motherfuck . . . Fucker’s all up and aggressive in my face. Don’t wanna be pissing me off unless you want to leave your bro in the tent.” he grinned, a rather sinister look on his face.

“Just take me to my brother and I’ll fuck off, okay?” Sollux muttered, realizing this guy had a point and seemed quite smug that Sollux was having to remain in his company. Why, he didn’t know, but just as quickly as he looked to study the freakish smile this guy was wearing, it was back to being dopey and passive. He could feel his head starting to twinge with pain as he rubbed his temples again.

“Awwh, man. Way to kill the party. Oh, what’s your name? Can’t be up and dragging any old motherfucker in” he hummed, walking backwards to keep his eyes on him as they resumed heading towards the tent.

“Sollux Captor.”

“Solbro, huh? Sooollllbroooo” he said, rolling the syllables over his tongue thoughtfully.

Sollux rolled his eyes in annoyance. “It’s Sollux, not fucking Solbro” he snapped, watching the clown’s hazy eyes slide in and out of focus as Gamzee spun to check he was still heading towards the tent, spinning back again so fast it was surprising he hadn’t lost balance.

“I’m Gamzee motherfucking Makara. Up and pleased to acquaint with you and shit . . . honk honk.”

“Gamzee motherfucking Makara?” he sneered, thinking that was the most idiotic way anyone could ever introduce themselves, but his distaste was lost on Gamzee, who chuckled a little as Sollux had repeated it back to him. “Fine, GZ. Just lead me over to the tent.” He always shortened people’s names, something that irked most people, but Gamzee didn’t seem to mind. Quite the contrary; it seemed to sollux that it made the clown smile wider if anything.

Gamzee nodded at him. “Sure thing, Solbro” he said, giving a smile before he turned and focused on getting to the large purple tent. Sollux didn’t know what it was about this clown; if it was the weird way he swayed a little when he stood or if it was the raspy voice he had that made his spine tingle. Something was really strange about him, and he couldn’t get his mind off the lanky fuck. It was infuriating and fascinating, as was the way he walked; literally plodding along like a moron without purpose. He was so preoccupied watching the way Gamzee was walking that it was a good few minutes before he realised he was staring at the guy’s ass. The mere fact he was staring at a clown’s ass made him want to slap himself as he drew his sight up to his back. Even with the loose t-shirt, it was fairly obvious Gamzee was strong. He’d have to be in order to do the flips Sollux had watched him execute with such perfection. 

So busy was he in his mental state of self-hate and thoughts of if the clown was toned or not (and then more thoughts as to why the fuck he was even thinking about that,) that he didn’t really see Gamzee stopping and he ended up walking right into him. Gamzee didn’t seem to notice the collision at all though as he gestured for Sollux to step inside. “You’ll want to be up and motherfucking quiet. If Kurloz is in here, he’ll get his grump on. Bro doesn’t really like being startled or interrupted when he’s doing his thing.” The way he said that made Sollux think that perhaps the person who interrupted Gamzee’s brother the most was Gamzee himself.

“Sure . . . ”

Stepping into the tent, Sollux peered into the ring and what he saw surprised him more than anything he could have imagined as Gamzee stood next to him, asking if that was who he was looking for.

In the middle of the ring stood the tall mime who had been leading the show, but he was currently turning circles, dancing with someone so badly it was probably wrong to say they were dancing: it was more just spinning around in circles to the music of Mituna’s laughter. His brother’s face was lit up with delight that it was only mirrored by the mime’s, who was looking back happily at the other. They spun and spun until the two of them fell onto the ground, Mituna in hysterics as he landed in the other’s lap.

“ . . . The fuck?” he gawped, jaw dropping a little. He seemed to not be the only one who was utterly flummoxed, as Gamzee’s face was one of utter confusion for a moment,gradually tilting his head this way and that as if to make sense of the scene he was seeing. He started to speak but nothing came out as he glanced back at Sollux. Seeing as they seemed to share the state of perplexity, he gestured to one of the seats.

“Take a seat for now, Solbro. No point in interrupting a miracle at work.”

“That’s an understatement” Sollux mumbled, taking a seat and rubbing his temples still. His head was starting to ache more and more, and the shock of seeing Mituna actually looking that happy both surprised and saddened him. Had he really been that subdued at home? He supposed that it was hard to tell when he so rarely got the chance or expressed a want to interact with other people like that. He couldn’t help the waves of guilt that Mituna had missed out on such things, but it was mingled with joy at seeing his sibling so happy.

“What do you up and mean?” Gamzee asked, watching the two others as Kurloz starting juggling clubs in front of the excited Captor. “My bro looks motherfucking happy” he added, nodding down to the ring as he sat beside Sollux. “Fucker’s been up and plastering on falsities for years. Nice to see him back in his groove.”

“I suppose it’s the same for Mitz. He hates people touching him, so this is something else, I suppose . . . ” he mumbled, trailing off a little.

“He’s not a brother who likes to cuddle a motherfucker then?” Gamzee asked, his tone sounding unsure of what he was even asking as he scratched his head through his mess of dark hair.

“Nah. If anything, he flips his shit if anyone else touches him. Literally, his ex-girlfriend ended up with a black eye once because she startled him one morning. He panicked and punched out on instinct . . . Fuck, Almeis lost his shit with Mitz for that. I’ve never seen the guy so angry. It’d been an accident, but I guess people will interpret it how they will. Latula was really good about it though, which surprised me more than anything. I half expected rumors to start up about him being some retarded woman beater . . . I dunno . . . ” Sollux said, remembering how the entire situation had been a nightmare for all involved. Just thinking about it was making his head feel like it was pulsating with more force than it had before.

“A motherfucking bump never did no one harm.” Gamzee grinned, pointing at his black eye and split lip. “Shit up and motherfucking happens, Bro.”  
“Yeah, well . . . ” He sighed, rubbing his temples a little harder now. His head was throbbing in agony now, and Sollux was all too aware of what might happen next if he didn't do something about it. “As much as it’s nice to see Mitz playing about, my head feels like it’s about to blow, and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to endure this shit any longer-” He was interrupted by the sound of Mituna running up the stairs towards them with Kurloz in tow. He looked at the two Captors each in turn with his ghostly eyes. Straight away, Sollux noticed that Kurloz was most definitely a Makara. There was no way he couldn’t be, with the freakishly tall but strong frame that showed through the skeleton suit. He stopped paying attention soon after though as he put his head in his hands, groaning from the pain.

:THIS YOUR BRO?:

“YETH” Mituna stated, his grin having faded as he looked uncertainly at his younger sibling. Kurloz gave a polite wave, but his face paint and stitched lips creeped Sollux out. His head was now throbbing with a pain that was seemingly relentless and the awful feeling of nausea was starting to wave over him, making his already pale complexion ghostlike.

“SOLLUXTH? ITH . . . ARE YOU HAVING THE BADTHS AGAIN?” came the slightly worried voice of his older brother. Sollux didn’t see the two clowns looking at one another as Mituna twitched, aware of the forthcoming situation. It had happened many times before and Sollux would forever curse their genetics for it. Psiioniic syndrome was harmless enough but the Captors were plagued by intense migraines. Their suffering from the agonising headaches to the point that they usually passed out from the pain. There was no painkiller that had ever worked for any of them, so he was left to just endure them when it happened.

“Yes, we need to go . . . argh . . . Home, come on . . . ungh . . . ”

“Yo, Solbro. You’re not looking too motherfucking clever” Gamzee mused, quite intrigued that Sollux was now almost as white as the face paint that he and his brother were caked in and he nudged Kurloz in a bid to get his attention. The mime was far more concerned that Mituna appeared to be in distress about this and he had to seriously think about what the best course of action was going to be. Sometimes, they had to deal with people who succumbed to epileptic fits because of the light show. Regardless of the warnings that were printed on the tickets, it had been proven that people would sometimes ignore them at their own risk. The amount of times he’d had to arrange for an ambulance seemed infinite. Nevertheless, Kurloz turned towards Mituna and managed to catch his attention.

:MITUNA, I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING REALLY AWESOME AND EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO ME, OK? CAN’T UP AND HELP A BROTHER IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON.:

Mituna frowned in thought before trying to explain that his brother was enduring a very bad headache. Sollux’s head was in such splitting pain now that his vision had blurred and contorted, as if the entire scene was swirling and swaying before his very eyes. “F . . . fuck, Mitz . . . we . . . need to get the fuck home . . . asshole . . . ” he mumbled. He didn’t get to hear much more of the conversation before the pain took over, causing him to black out.

-=-

Looking at the teen passed out on the seat, Gamzee nudged his limp body with his foot. This reminded him a little of the few lays he’d had in the past where the person had fainted midway from drink. He sniggered a bit as he remembered such times and he was about to mention his wonderful train of thought to Kurloz when he felt his head being smacked. “Honk!- what the fuck?” he snarled, glaring at his taller brother and then glancing down to his hands to see whatever signs would be formed.

:PICK HIM UP.:

“I dunno, man. He looks pretty content, all passed out like. Sorta cute-” he began but received another smack to the back of his head that seriously made him feel like spinning around and smashing a fist into Kurloz’s face. One look at his older brother, however, was enough to make him blanch with fear. It was probably lucky that Mituna had been busy looking at Sollux’s limp body rather than at the murderous gaze Kurloz was shooting at Gamzee. He looked so pissed, even the knife thrower couldn’t throw daggers like the ones his brother threw with his eyes.

“WE HAVETH THE SYNDROMETH . . . HEACHESTH . . . THE HEADACHES HURT . . . ” he muttered, picking up the backpack and standing next to his younger brother. It was then that Gamzee could really tell the two were related. The red and blue eyes on the both of them displayed the same partial albinism. Heck, if Gamzee had met them both at once he would’ve thought they were twins.

:SO, MOTHERFUCKER’S PASSED OUT FROM A HEADACHE? FUCK, I’VE SEEN FUCKERS PASS OUT FROM SOME SHIT BEFORE BUT NEVER A HEADACHE. SOUNDS LIKE HE’S EITHER IN SOME WICKED PAIN OR HE’S A FUCKING PUSSY.:

“DONTH CALL HIM THATSIUETHAWEIUHRFFUCKTH THATH SHITH REALLY FCUKGIN HURTHST!” Mituna snapped. Kurloz made a gesture of apology and was pleased to find he was easily forgiven (Gamzee was surprised to see this; Kurloz apologised to no one.) “ITHS . . . IT REALLY HURTS. OUR HEADS GO GAME FUCKING OVERTH AND THEN THE PASSING OUT, AND THEN MORE PAIN . . . THATH THE SYNDROMES.”

Kurloz frowned while Gamzee had a brilliant idea, nudging his older brother sharply in the ribs. Why he didn’t think of it sooner; he didn’t know, but the chance to combine the passed out Captor and his favourite pastime seemed too good a chance to miss out on.“Dude, I motherfucking got this shit. What is it . . . Remember how Dad dealt with his migraines?”

Standing very still for the moment, Kurloz’s expression was unreadable as he stared right at Gamzee, his blue eyes so pale that they seemed almost white. He seemed totally blank whilst he tried to figure out what his sibling had meant. However it soon seemed to click into place and as it did, Gamzee looked right back at him with a cryptic smirk. Stitched lips smiled right back at him.

:FOR ONCE, YOU’VE GOT THE MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT IDEA. PICK THAT SUCKER UP AND WE’LL SORT THIS SHIT OUT.:

Bending down, he picked up Sollux, who was vaguely starting to come round, carrying him over his shoulder. His skin was cold, clammy and a layer of sweat clung to it. Though the thing that struck Gamzee as strange was the way his form seemed so light, although it wasn’t bony at all. He supposed that as he was the one carrying Sollux, that no one would really mind if he copped a feel or two as he started to follow after Mituna and Kurloz.

:WE’RE GOING TO PLAY FOR LONGER, MITUNA.: Kurloz signed, smiling down at the dandelion-haired man who seemed overjoyed that he was going to spend more time with his new friend. Gamzee was more than happy that his brother was distracted by Mituna’s smiles as he groped Sollux’s ass. It was firm, small and cute and he was going to turn his head and indulge himself with a bite, but decided against it as he saw his own brother glance over his shoulder. Gamzee gave a dopey and vague smile as if he’d done nothing at all . . . or at least it would seem that way if his hand wasn’t still blatantly on Sollux’s butt or if he hadn’t been squeezing it again.

:GET THE FUCK OFF LITTLE CAPTOR. I SAW THAT.: came Kurloz’s signs over his shoulder. Mituna merely looked back and saw the sight of someone touching Sol’s backside and burst into a fit of sniggers.

“EHEHEHEHE HE TOUCHETH THE BUTT.”


	4. Smoky Beginnings...

A short walk from the tent and past a few other performers later, the four of them managed to clamber into Gamzee’s caravan. The interior was dark and with the same shades of purple as the tent they had just left - although this place was a total mess in comparison. Trudging through the mess of clothes and empty bottles, Gamzee laid Sollux down on the skull print bed. He didn’t notice Kurloz shaking his head in disapproval of his younger brother’s living conditions, but nor did he care, looking over his shoulder to see the mime turn his attention to Mituna.

:ALRIGHT, MITUNA. YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A SEAT AS THIS IS GOING TO SEEM MOTHERFUCKING SCARY, BUT THIS SHIT’S GONNA BE REALLY HELPFUL FOR YOUR BROTHER.:

Blinking a few times as he processed this, Mituna stared into the pale eyes of Kurloz and muttered a little to himself before nodding, as if accepting something bad was about to happen. “ITH OK, ARE WE HAVING A SLEEPOVERTHS?” he asked, wondering why they were in a tiny little house and what that funky smell was. Kurloz chuckled silently and nodded, making signs at the other.

:YES. IT UP AND SEEMS THAT WAY. THE MESSIAHS ARE WORKING IN MY FAVOUR TONIGHT, I THINK. YOUR BROTHER’S GOING TO BE ALL KINDS OF HAPPY AFTER THIS. I PROMISE:

“FUCK YETH, IMOTHERFUCKING LOVEDTH THATSHIT EHEHEHEHEWIHURAEIU WAIT . . . I NEEDTH TWO TEXTHED MY OLDERBROTHER OK? YETH . . . I’M SORRY, I DON’T PYJAMAS . . . ” Mituna babbled.

Whilst the conversation between those two was going on, Gamzee was rolling up a joint, packing it mostly with sopur than tobacco. He never ever rolled his joints in the traditional manner. The ones Gamzee rolled looked pristine and perfectly straight rather than the conically shaped joints most stoners prefered. Kurloz had once said they were as straight as pencils and could be mistaken for cigarettes, had they not totally stank of the drug they contained (that and Gamzee used the thinnest papers he could find.) The clown only created then so perfectly for the challenge of doing so . . . Gamzee only ever sought challenge in the things he enjoyed most. “Yo, kur. Asides from giving this shit to Solbro, we hitting his bro with this?” he asked, wondering he if ought to make another or not.

:NO, I NEED THIS FUCKER AS AWARE AS POSSIBLE. I’LL BE FUCKED IF I FOG HIS THINKPAN MORE THAN IT IS ALREADY. THIS LITTLE TRIPSWITCH IS JUST MOTHERFUCKING FINE AS HE IS.: he signed, watching Mituna put the phone away as he stood up, stretching his limbs and smiling absentmindedly as if this sort of experience was totally normal. “WHERE DO I SLEEPTH? PJAMASTH . . . I’LL GETH INTO FUCKING TROULBEHT IF IM NOTH IN PJAMSETH” he stated, frowning at Kurloz.

:CALM YOUR SHIT I GOT SOME STUFF YOU CAN WEAR. YOU’LL CHILL IN MY TRAILER. I’VE GOT SOME VIDEO GAMES YOU CAN HAVE A BLAST ON. I DON’T THINK STAYING HERE WITH GAMZEE IS REALLY YOUR THING AS HE’S NOT FUCKING INTERESTING IN THE SLIGHTEST.:

“Hey, I saw those motherfucking signs. Asshole” Gamzee huffed, inspecting the finished joint and turning it in his fingers like a mini baton. “But naahhh . . . go get your chill on with Kur, Mitbro. I got this shit . . .” His grin was somewhat predatory as he glanced at Sollux (who was in too much pain to be fully conscious,) and Kurloz narrowed his eyes at the other before turning Mituna and signalling for him to look out the window.

:LOOK OUTSIDE FOR A BIT, MITUNA . . .: He signed, making sure Mituna was distracted before going right over to Gamzee and taking his little brother by the throat, shoving him to the bed as he dug his fingers into the skin of his neck and pressing their foreheads together. The look in the mime’s eyes was so menacing, even Gamzee whimpered a little as he heard a growl from deep in Kurloz’s throat as he pulled back once more to sign.

:LISTEN THE FUCK UP. THIS MOTHERFUCKER HERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FUCKING THIS MIRACLE UP. I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO UPSET HIM, I WILL STITCH MORE THAN YOUR STUPID FUCKING MOUTH UP . . .: His sewn lips then turned from a murderous frown into a horribly dark smirk. :DAD WON’T BE MOTHERFUCKING IMPRESSED WITH YOU EITHER IF I UP AND TELL HIM YOU’VE BEEN MISSING PRACTISES. FUCK, HE MIGHT EVEN CUT YOU UP AGAIN IF YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO GIVE ME MOTHERFUCKING GRIEF. MIGHT WANT TO WATCH YOURSELF BEFORE I WRECK YOUR SHIT UP, BABY BROTHER.:

Gamzee’s heart nearly stopped as he became very aware of the black eye he had and the split lip. The GHB’s punches never, ever missed, and he didn’t fancy being knocked out cold and dumped outside his trailer again. It had happened more times than he wanted to count, and even thinking about the way GHB’s furious eyes glowered at him when he was in trouble made him feel sick. In that moment, he wondered what his deceased biological father would have thought about the way their eldest brother was filling in the role. Then again, he didn’t have time to ponder why the GHB had taken on the role of fatherhood when faced with the wrath of the middle child.

“ITH THITH A GAME?” came a confused voice, making Kurloz drop Gamzee like a ragdoll and plaster his usual creepy grin as he then shone a more genuine expression at Mituna.

:NO. JUST HAVING A CHAT.:

“BUT YOUR MUTETH . . . EHEHEHEHWIEUAHREIWU SO YOU WERE HAVING CHARADES . . . THATH THE RIGHT ONETH ISTN IT? ALLTHE GAMES R BLEONED TO ME” he stated. Gamzee had no idea what the fuck Mituna was on about, but Kurloz seemed besotted by the idiot, so he wasn’t going to interfere. For now, he was mulling over how to inflict some sort of damage to the mime in retaliation when he heard a groan of pain from the bed.

“Ungh . . . FUCK, my fucking . . . argh!” Sollux groaned, clutching at his skull in the hopes it would stifle the pain  
.  
“Kur, we got some tricks to up and perform if we’re going to kick those wicked demons out of Solbro’s pan” Gamzee said, picking up the joint and his lighter as Kurloz turned to look at Sollux, who was looking slightly confused and still very much in agony. His hands directed themselves at Mituna as he signed, preparing the puffy haired Captor for what was to come.

:THIS IS THE SCARY BIT, MITUNA. KEEP YOUR SHIT CALM. WE GOT THIS.:

“Fuck yes, we have.” Gamzee grinned, getting on the bed and straddling Sollux as Kurloz then joined him, pinning the recently awakened teen to the bed as he started to struggle, clearly surprised to see two clowns pinning him to a bed. If anything, Gamzee was pleased with the thought that this was what most people would count as a nightmare coming true.

“W- what the fuck? Get the fuck off me!” Sollux hissed, wriggling and kicking his legs in a desperate need to escape. His movements were so weak, it was as if his headache was sapping his energy and preventing any real show of strength. Gamzee doubted Sollux actually had any power in that skinny, slender frame of his, however, and gave a dark chuckle as he lit the joint, taking only a slight puff to get the thing going. The drag he’d taken wasn’t enough to give a recreational smoker like him any sort of kick, but that would come soon enough . . . and not from the joint. Oh no, he would be getting his kicks some other way tonight. It was time to work some miracles.

“Relax . . . We’re going to grace that headache of yours with the most wicked of miracles . . .” he cooed, grabbing the struggling teen’s face and gripping it in one hand. The other hand partially covered Sollux’s nose as he forced the joint between his lips. At some point, Sollux would have to breathe and take the smoke in, but the startled teen was really trying his hardest to not do that, struggling and holding his breath as if it was his last. Gamzee stared into the beautiful reds and blues of Sollux’s eyes, watching the panic and confusion mingle with pain.

“Take it in, Solbro. All the pain will fuck off and it’ll be chill, brother . . .” He smirked. He loved seeing such a flurry of emotion, but what he hadn’t expected was the change that happened when Sollux gave into the need to breathe. His red and blue eyes turned into a kaleidoscope of emotions and release as his pupils dilated. Soon Sollux was choking on the smoke, fully inhaling the drug that was being forced into him and watched Sollux’s eyes water and start to redden. Gamzee soon uncovered his nose and kept his eyes on the other, keeping the joint in place as Kurloz let go as well, rising up from the bed.

:. . .YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN NOW, BRO.:

“Yeah yeah, thanks for helping a fucker out. You go get your kicks on with our motherfucking brother over there . . .” He smiled, not taking his eyes off the teen beneath him as Kurloz nodded and went to get Mituna. “Breathe it in, bro . . . Niiiiice and deep . . .” he said quietly, making sure that Sollux got a few lungfuls more before he eventually relinquished his grip on his skull. “Speak up, Solbro . . . Hehehehehe . . . Your headache up and fucked off? You passed out and all kinds of shit could’ve gone down, but I know how to deal with those wicked head bangers. No fucker needs that sort of pain in their pan.”

Sollux seemed hazed, still coughing a little, but the smoke seemed to have well and truly infested his body as he went limp on the bed, his eyes wet from choking and looking like ruby and azure jewels. “You’re an asshole . . .” he mumbled. That was all Gamzee needed to hear to know he was right in his assumption.  
Looking up, he saw that Kurloz and Mituna had left his caravan which, if he was honest, was probably for the best, as it was getting much too crowded for him. He rarely let anyone inside his personal space; it was his one place he was able to relax and he didn’t want to ruin the chilled vibes (although Kurloz frequently ruined his peace for fun.) “Heh, well it up and motherfucking worked then.”

“You could’ve just fucking given me a choice, rather than force it in, you fucknut” Sollux growled, or tried to anyway as it seemed so half assed from the way he drawled it out, the drug in his system slowing his usually quick responses. “But yeah . . . The pain has gone.”

Flopping on the bed and laying by his side, Gamzee took the joint from Sollux’s mouth and inhaled very deeply, so much so it seemed like he was going to suck up the actual joint. The item remained in place however as the familiar burn in his lungs as he held it was nothing compared to the giddying rush that he got when he slowly breathed out a billow of smoke. “That’d be no fun . . . besides . . . now you’re all up and chilled . . . and not in a fucktonne of pain either.” He chuckled, turning to look at the other. His guest was still looking just as pale as when he had passed out, but the cheap lighting of his caravan gave him a strange glow of sorts. Grinning a little, Gamzee reached his hand over, pressing the joint to Sollux’s mouth again. “Take another, do it up and motherfucking properly this time.”

“Only because this shit seems to actually stop the pain . . .” he grumbled, reluctantly accepting the offer.

Watching Sol’s chest rise, his eyes fall closed and feeling lips pressed on his fingers as he inhaled, Gamzee felt a little hypnotized. He usually smoked alone, but when he did have company, he liked to watched other people smoke to try and see how his favorite drug changed them. This was a little different though. Sollux’s eyes were dilated and the slight colour on his cheekbones from the flush of blood to his face made him look strangely attractive, as if he was blissfully content and without care. People were always far more beautiful without inhibitions or walls . . . though walls were always fun to climb or break down.

As Sollux exhaled, Gamzee was reminded of an idea he’d always wanted to try, so he figured that, as Sollux was smoking his gear and chilling at his home, he might as well take something in return. Though, if he was honest with himself, he was just using that as an excuse to get closer to the faint smell of honey he was picking up on. Sweet things always tasted so good.

“Want to get a stronger hit of that?” he asked, the smell of weed starting to stifle the air around them as he pulled the joint back from Sollux’s mouth.

“I’ve gone this fucking far. Why the hell not?” he said quietly. It was obvious that his mind was too fogged to make any better judgement or to hold any aggression for being pinned down. There was a slight part of him that wondered if Sollux might have just been happy to get rid of the pain, although he’d ask about that in a moment. For now, he shifted closer and tugged on Sol’s shoulder to make him lay on his side.

“Put your forehead on mine, bro. This shit will be wicked, trust . . . All you need to do is inhale when I breathe out the smoke of motherfucking wonder.” He grinned, feeling a slight bump to his head as they neared one another. Turning his head a little, he took a deep drag from the perfectly rolled joint and held it in his lungs. His pulse was quickening from the thought of what was about to happen and it gave him such a sweet little rush as he found he was able to breathe in the sweet scent of the other. Head tilting back, he exhaled slowly and heard the sound of his guest literally stealing his breath away, sharing the second hand smoke.

“Sweet as fuck” Gamzee sighed, trying to breathe in whatever Sollux ended exhaling back out again. He didn’t know if it was the added carbon dioxide that gave him a kick, or if it was the sweet breath he’d inhaled. All he really knew is that it added to what was already a wonderful experience so far. He’d never brought someone back to his home before, certainly not someone like Sollux anyway. Gamzee was starting to wonder if his guest was spoken for or not when he remembered about the headache. “Tell me about that head of yours, bro . . . The fuck went down?”

“Oh, that . . .” Sollux mumbled, their foreheads still pressed together and seeming like he couldn’t really be bothered to move anytime soon. “Psiioniic syndrome . . . My genetics got fucked up somewhere along the lines. Mituna has it, and Almeis too . . . Fuck, every Captor ever has it . . . You get plagued by migraines which happen for no discernible reason other than to fuck you up . . . It comes with the red and blue eyes and whatever. We also burn really easily because of the partial albinism . . . It’s shit. I usually pass out when it happens, but Mituna gets them the worst. There’s been times where he’s literally been screaming in agony.”

“Not got any meds?” Gamzee asked, flicking the ash from the joint into a nearby can (he was classy like that.)

“I used to take a strong dose of dihydrocodine with paracetamol, but . . . It didn’t really work. It should’ve. Fuck, it would’ve knocked most people out, but . . . I dunno . . .It's like we’re immune to it.”

“Good thing this shit worked its kick ass miracles on you then, bro” smirked Gamzee, still amused to find that Sollux had not shifted position yet as he wagged the joint in his face without warning.

“What the fuck is that- ungh, don’t wave it at me, Gz!” he groaned. It was almost like he had tried to snap, but couldn’t find the aggression in him as he lightly pushed the hand away.

“Sopur . . . It’s the slickest smoke that’s blazing a trail up in your head at the moment, Solbro. Shit’s just a different kinda paint for our old friend cannabis. It’s not going to fuck you up too horribly.” Gamzee shrugged, taking a hit and once again exhaling it to poison the air Sollux was breathing. The other inhaled it without too much complaint and the red and blue orbs became half lidded in a stoned daze.  
“Fuck . . . D- damn . . . makes you really tired . . .” whispered Sollux, his face showing a serene bliss as the drug fully sank into his system, glazing his eyes and making him seem so at ease. Gamzee was all too aware that he would be easily lured into things he might not otherwise agree with, but there was no fun in taking a dangling carrot. It was much better to work for it. He’d always enjoyed finding a challenge in something he really liked.

“Tell me some shit, brother. What’s on your mind?” Gamzee purred, setting the joint down in the can and taking a deep breath of that sweet scent.

“My mind? Well . . . everything feels fucking strange . . . like, I’m not actually here. More, I’m observing this shit . . . I can’t feel my hands, and I’m pretty sure my face has gone numb . . . and you look . . . all . . . fucking . . .” Sollux trailed off, seeming to be unable to really maintain his train of thought as his hands reached up and surprised Gamzee by placing themselves on the juggalo’s painted face. “. . . Shit, this isn’t a dream then. I am in . . . some . . . questionable mental fucking state . . . Fuck . . . This is so fucking stupid . . .”

“Nah. Your mentality is just fucking fine right now. It’s merely getting its chill on and taking some time to kick the fuck back” Gamzee said, mimicking the movements that Sollux had made and placing his own hands on the other’s face. The skin was slightly greasy and there were freckles dusted over his cheeks that were only really visible at this distance, but the thing that surprised him was how warm he seemed to be. Almost like he was radiating warmth and heat from his very being. So caught up in this intoxicated closeness that he wasn’t too bothered by the feeling of Sollux’s fingers smearing the greasepaint over his own skin and his mouth. Admittedly, this put a slight grin on his face and the sweet smell that mingled with the smoky air of the caravan was easily tempting him to take a taste of more. “Like what you’re seeing?”

The look on Sollux’s face was so vacant as he stared back, slowly processing the question, but there was a moment of clarity in those red and blue orbs. Gamzee could almost pinpoint the moment, even in his current haze and he very much liked what he saw. Sopur always brought the walls down so nicely that it didn’t matter what Sollux’s response was. His thoughts had already been betrayed by his eyes.

“I can’t tell. Everything’s sorta . . . fucked up, and blurry . . .” came Sollux’s mumbled response, his fingers coming to rest on Gamzee’s jaw. Admittedly, the lisp sounded even more pronounced now he was intoxicated, but for some reason it worked in his favour, seeming to make Sollux more attractive.

“Sight isn’t everything, brother. Sometimes, you need to take a good motherfucking bite instead.” He smirked, picking the joint up and taking a drag before putting it back. He’d taken a good lungful and his head spun a little as he held his breath, placing a hand on the back of Sollux’s head to test the proverbial water and see how he’d react. The distance between them was so small now that he could probably count the lashes on Sollux’s eyes - if he was into doing such things. After a few seconds he slowly breathed out, once again giving the other little choice but to breathe it in.

“I don’t like the drugs, but the drugs like me” Sollux buzzed tunefully, his own arm lazily moving to flop onto Gamzee’s waist. Stoned or not, Gamzee figured this was a good indication that one: he wasn’t bothered by the close contact, and two: that he’d done that of his own free will.

“They’re not the only thing that likes you . . .” Gamzee grinned, moving his hand down the back of Sollux’s head and starting to trace the vertebrae down to the base of his back. To his delight, Sollux physically shivered from his touch and he could almost feel the heat of the blush that surged on his cheeks. The delight was short lived though, as Gamzee felt a hand lightly pressing on his chest, as if to push him off.

“One nighters aren’t my style . . . Gz . . . Shit’s not worth the hassle.”

“Who said I only wanted one motherfucking night?” He replied, using the hand he had on the other to pull their bodies together, pleased that he wasn’t met with any sort of protest. Sollux looked at him for a while, and it was plain to see he was searching for sincerity in Gamzee’s statement. The clown smiled at him, bumping their noses together lightly. “If I just up and wanted to get my dick wet, I could’ve gone a few trailers down and pissed off Pyrope . . . If you’re all getting your worry on questioning my intentions on this shit, then I can lay it out motherfucking straight for you . . . though that erection in your pants says a whole fucking lot.”  
Turning practically scarlet, Sollux was so unused to the strength of the drug he’d been smoking that he was too intoxicated to deny it or remove himself from the situation. Gamzee smirked deviously, pressing a slight kiss to the other’s jaw, unable to resist the urge much longer and it earned him a slight groan from Sollux in return.

“Fine. Explain yourself then, Makara.”


	5. ...And Rude Awakenings

There were not many people in the world who could say they had woken up beside a juggalo after a night of getting high and still remembered what had happened the night before. Sollux wasn’t sure if he was or wasn’t ok with this when he had managed to get his thoughts together after waking up. After all, it wasn’t every day you woke up in a trailer with someone you didn’t know too well - especially if you didn’t get out much.

A strange noise made him look up to find that Gamzee was snoring contentedly besides him, his arm draped over his waist and his bicep providing something of a pillow for Sollux’s head. Thinking back, he was pretty sure they had fallen asleep on opposite sides of the bed, but he assumed maybe this was a signal that he’d made the right choice. The choice being that he’d agreed to be Gamzee’s boyfriend.

The conversation that had actually led to that agreement had been a disaster as far as romance was concerned. Gamzee had spoken in rhythmic riddles at first and their meanings had been lost on Sollux to the point he’d threatened to get up and walk back home if he didn’t speak in a way that made sense. It seemed to have done the trick because after that, Gamzee had managed to explain himself. He told Sollux that the carnival was staying in this region whilst Gamzee redid his GCSEs, and that he was going to be studying at Newark College so he was going to be seeing Sollux around anyway. He had been cautious about the fact he’d known Gamzee for all of about 3 hours, but Gamzee had insisted that “getting into a relationship is a totally motherfucking awesome way of learning about another fucker” (and that generally it was a shit idea to date your friends anyway.) Considering how awkward his friendship with Aradia had been after they’d broken up, he felt that the clown had a fair point. That and Gamzee pointed out that there’d be no issues if it didn’t work out as they didn’t have any history. In reality, Sollux didn’t really have anything to lose and he was pretty convinced it wouldn’t last that long at all; so he had ended up agreeing. It wasn’t like he had people swarming for his affections.Also, if he was honest with himself he’d admit he was strangely attracted to the other’s unpredictability (although he’d be damned if he understood why.) They’d not done anything physical together though - not even a kiss - which he supposed showed that the clown could at least be trusted, considering Sollux had been stoned, semi-erect and fairly open to suggestion.

A particularly loud snore brought Sollux back to the present and he gave a slight yawn, still half asleep as he nudged the sleeping clown a little. It was fairly impressive that a human being was able to make such an ungodly noise like that and Sollux was more than fed up of listening to it. “G.Z . . .” he mumbled against Gamzee’s neck, expecting to smell that typically rancid ‘morning after’ smell that most people had after a night like that as he squirmed a bit in a bid to get free. Instead, he was surprised to smell a combination of the beach and an ashtray as Gamzee gave a sharp snort and cracked one of his pale blue eyes open.

“ . . .s’ the time?” He groaned, arms tightening around Sollux’s wriggling form and yawning into the top of his head. A shiver went through his spine from the warm air and he was even more determined to get away. He was not used to affection or human contact in the slightest and nor was he in any rush to get accustomed to it.

“I’m going to guess it’s about 8:30 AM as that’s normally when I wake up.” He shrugged, getting fairly irked that he wasn’t able to get up and out of bed. There was a good reason why he always woke up at 8:30AM, and he was certain that this morning would be the same as ever for that very same reason. “We- I mean, I need to get up.”

“Ungh, fucking crack of dawn bro, stop getting your wriggle on . . . 5 more minutes” Gamzee groaned out, fully wrapping Sollux up in his arms now as he buried his face into his hair. At this rate, he was certain that he was going to end up suffocated, and he could just imagine the headlines now: ‘Former hacker snuggle-smothered by clown.’

“No, I don’t think you understand. I need to get up before-“

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence though, as Gamzee placed a hand over his mouth. “My trailer, my motherfucking rules, and I say that you should lay down with the clown and fucking sleep. Ain’t no brother that’s got reason to be awake at 8 motherfucking 30 on Sunday” he grumbled. Sollux half wanted to punch that moron in the face for saying ‘lay down with the clown’, but thought better of it. In reality, he was comfortable and warm (that, and he couldn’t throw a punch to save his life.) There was however a pressing matter that would happen no matter what.

“I really, really do have reason to be awake at this ungodly time. Let me explain something really fucking irritating about my brother . . .”

-=-  
After an evening of video games and seeing how incapable someone could be at removing their own trousers, Kurloz had made up a spare bed for Mituna and then gone to rest in his own with the thought that he’d be able to enjoy a rest in the morning. 

How wrong he was.

He had been soundly sleeping come 8:30AM, until a certain someone had clambered onto his bed and woke him up with incessant repetitions of ‘KURLOTH, KURLOTH, KURLOTH’.

Still somewhat tired and now sat up on the bed, Kurloz figured that Mituna was incredibly lucky that he was a cute sight to wake up to as otherwise the mime would’ve been kicking the ever living shit into him. No one dared disturb a Makar from his slumber. It was a fact that was well known by everyone in the circus.That stupid grin and slight trail of drool on Mituna’s face was strangely adorable, and one look at it had melted any anger Kurloz had initially felt. Instead he raised his hands to sign at him.

:YOU DO KNOW ITS 8:30 FUCKING AM?:

“YETH.” Mituna nodded, crawling over to sit opposite Kurloz as he produced a mobile phone that was displaying the time. “I WATCHED ITH UNTIL ITH WATH 8.30 ANDTHEN NOW BREAKFASTH. 9 ITHS TIME, ITHS THE TIME FOR GETTING SOMETFUCKING EATING ON.”

Staring a little, Kurloz half wondered how long Mituna had been awake if he’d been watching the clock as he stifled a yawn through his nose (yawning properly was out of the question when your lips were sewn together.) It occurred to him that just because Mituna was in a different place didn’t mean he wouldn’t want to do any routines he might have, and so Kurloz gave a slight sigh as he said goodbye to any idea of sleeping in.

:DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?: he asked, slipping a hand under his pillow to try and find his own phone just to make sure that he’d not gotten any messages.

“YETH, WAKETH UP, WAITH TILL 8:30, WAK . . . WAKE UP SOL AND NOT PSII BECAUSETH HEWORSKTH . . . THEN, THEN DRESESD AND BREAKFAST ITH 9” Mituna stated, seeming proud he’d remembered that before looking very confused. “THAT’S NORMAL RIGHT?”

Thinking it over, the routine made sense, although it certainly wasn’t normal for someone like himself who had always enjoyed dozing in the mornings (not half as much as Gamzee however, who rarely woke up before 1PM.) :IT’S NORMAL FOR SOME: he signed, deciding to leave it at that.

“OK . . . I MADED A DRINK CUP OF WATER.”

:YOU DID?:

“YETH.”

:WHERE IS IT?:

“I PUTED IT IN MY BAG.” he mumbled, pointing to the soaking wet bag on the floor. Thankfully for Mituna, it seemed his games, console and wallet were still on the sofa he’d slept on, and the phone in his hand looked relatively dry. Everything else however was soaked through.

:YOU’RE REALLY SOMETHING ELSE, MY CHEERFUL MOTHERFUCKER.: Kurloz sighed, taking the phone that Mituna had shoved into his hand and looking it over. It was a fairly battered looking Samsung J700 that looked about ready to give in and die any second.Kurloz was fairly certain that the ‘R4D’ carved into the casing wasn’t part of the original design either. Shrugging, he raised an eyebrow at him. :I HAVE A PHONE, BRO.:

“I WANTEDTHE NUMBER OF YOUR ONE.”

:YOU WANT MY PHONE NUMBER?:

“YETH.” he nodded, grinning from ear to ear. “THEN I CANDO THETEXT I ONLY TEXT PSII AND SOL I WANTH TWO TEXTED.”

:HELL FUCKING YES.: the mute grinned, amused that someone who would put a glass of water in their backpack and could barely take their own clothes off was still able to use a mobile phone. This was a good thing however, as Kurloz was keen to keep in contact with Mituna, even if it was just text messaging. He saved his number under his own name, making sure to send a message to it from that very phone so he’d have Mituna’s number as well. Text messages were a god send in a world where not everyone understood sign language and Kurloz was fairly glued to his phone because of it. This had been one of the few mornings he’d woken up without several new messages (there were usually a fair amount as his number was known by all the circus performers.)

“DO I HAVETH IT?” Mituna asked, crawling his way over to sit besides him so he could see what was going on. The mute nodded and brought up the contacts menu to show Mituna his name before pointing to himself.

:YES, THERE I AM. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TYPE OUT A MESSAGE AND SEND IT WHENEVER YOU NEED ME.:

“BUTH I NEEDTH YOUNOW I NEEDTH CLOTHES” Mituna frowned, taking the phone back and looking down at the t-shirt he’d slept in. “PLEASTH DON’T TELL SOL I SLEPET IN MY . . . MY CLOTHEST” he whispered, as if worried that Sollux might somehow hear him (even though he was in a totally different trailer.)

:CHILL, I GOT THIS SHIT. YOU CAN UP AND BORROW SOME OF MY THREADS.:

“I’LL BE COLD IN JUSTH FUCKING THREADS GIVEME PROPER CLOTHES YOUFCKUING CHEAPSKATE!” Mituna snapped, looking genuinely convinced and outraged that Kurloz was going to give him literal threads to wear.

Chuckling deeply, he smoothed a hand carefully over the top of Mituna’s head before shifting out of the bed. His wardrobe was right besides his sleeping area so he opened it up and sifted through the hangers. Mituna wasn’t anorexic or anything, but the man didn’t have much to him (although, Kurloz had felt there might be some tone to his form perhaps,) so he was fairly convinced all his own clothes would be huge on him. Both Kurloz and Gamzee had to wear large sized clothes because of their heights, although the clothing itself usually hung off them somewhat. It was quite problematic being as tall as they were as nothing seemed to fit properly.

After a while of rummaging, Kurloz produced a black, skull print t-shirt along with a pair of long denim shorts that went past the knee as well as a white belt. He figured that would do and at least that he’d have an excuse to see Mituna again to get his clothes back. He placed them on the bed besides the other and was going to leave him to it when he remembered how badly he’d struggled with removing his jeans last night.

:DO YOU NEED HELP?:

“YETH!” Mituna exclaimed, lifting his arms straight into the air like he was reaching for the sky. Kurloz looked at the other, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach that made him feel slightly sick with how much he suddenly wanted to see what was under Mituna’s clothes. He gave his head a shake however in a bid to try and rid himself of the thought.

:ALRIGHT THEN MOTHERFUCKER, LET’S DO THIS SHIT- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?: He frowned, wondering why on earth Mituna had started to scramble towards the window so suddenly.

“I WANTWITH WHICH ITHST SOLLUXTH IN?” Mituna demanded as Kurloz merely pointed to the trailer that was parked next to his.

“THAT ONE?” He asked, following the line of sight and staring for a moment before he looked at his phone once more, carefully reading something on the display before he dropped it onto the floor without a care, prying the door of the trailer open and then jumping out like a superhero who was late to a fire. This all happened so fast that Kurloz was left stood holding up a t-shirt and looking startled as he looked at where Mituna had been moments ago. Hearing some angry cusses and the sound of a door slamming, he shook his head and took the t-shirt with him as he went to go find Mituna.

=-=

“You are so stupid it’s unreal”

“IM THORRY”

“It’s fine, Mitz…”

“OK”

After Mituna had bolted out Kurloz’s trailer, he had made a bee line for the one Sollux was in and had literally burst in through the door. Whilst Sollux’s first reaction had been to yell at Mituna for bursting in, Gamzee’s was very different as he’d pelted a particularly heavy looking juggling club straight at Mituna’s head with terrifying accuracy and he was lucky that he’d ducked just in time to avoid it. It didn’t put Mituna off though as he’d strolled in and proceeded to ask if Sollux had got his dick sucked or not, warranting his youngest brother to punch him hard in the arm. Something which had now landed him in trouble now that they had come back home.

Psii walked back into the living room, adjusting his tie and glancing in the mirror. The way his weary eyes and dark circles stared back from his reflection made Sollux wonder if Psii even recognised the man in the mirror anymore. “Sollux, I’m surprised your arms even managed to leave the mark they did but you ought to know better than to sink to the level of violence” he uttered, his tone so devoid of any emotion or warmth it made the damn room seem colder than it actually was. That was how his voice usually was but it made the two lads shiver. Their eldest brother never raised his voice, instead he wielded his icy tone like a deadly knife to their consciences.

“Ungh…I know…”

“Regardless, you are grounded today. I do not know what you two were doing out at a sodding carnival all bloody night but I suppose that couldn’t have been helped if your headache had indeed happened…”came the slightly irked voice of psii as he wondered out. Sollux had faked a headache once and Psii had never, ever let him live it down and was always suspicious whenever Sollux was apparently ill. “Now, I must leave the two of you, I have to go and attend a monthly Pub watch meeting in place of Dualscar and it will not wait a moment longer…By the way, if you hit Mituna again I will let him play on your computer”

“NO!” Sollux nearly leapt out of his chair when Psii had said that and he glared at Mituna; who looked like he’d just been told he’d get an early Christmas present.

“EHEHEHEHEITUHEIU DIDHT YOU TELLED PSII YOU HATHST A BOYFROND”

“MITZ I SWEAR TO GOD-“

“Excuse me?” Psii stuck his head back in the room and arched an eyebrow in curiosity.

“SOL ISTH BANGING A JUGGALO HE GOTHST KISSED ON THE CHEEK AND EVERYTHING.”

“…..is this true, Sollux?”

“I don’t question your love life, don’t question mine” Sollux snapped, glaring at Psii who looked right back at him, blank faced for a moment or two as if calculating how to respond before he nodded at Mituna. “Deal with him how you wish for being a gossip. It is rude to gab about other people’s affairs . . . Though I will enquire later about this apparent relationship you seem to have gotten into.”

“WHAHAT???” gasped Mituna, hopping up from his seat as Psii left the premises and looking from the door to Sollux and then back at the door again. It was like any chance of being saved from whatever Sol had in mind had walked out the door with his oldest brother and Mituna was now very worried.

“How fast do you think you can run?”growled the youngest captor, eyes narrowed as he glared daggers at Mituna who then yelled at the top of his lungs and bolted up the stairs.

“NO NO NO NO NO NOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!”


	6. The most Mirthful of memories.

The opening hours of flashing lights, rhythmic beats and savage hunger for all things intoxicating were all that the world really knew about Nightclubs. Liquid Envy was no different, and as the top nightclub in Newark it was visited by many people. However keeping a nightclub like Liquid Envy on top form required a lot more work than people cared to think about.  
First there was the hours of 8pm-10pm where the bar staff, front of house and all those who had been lucky enough to snatch a job in this dying financial climate started to filter into the building.Once everyone was there, last minute checks were made, promo teams got sent out to the streets of Newark to coax the patrons to their venue. It was easily done with a promise of good music and even better deals on the alcohol the public craved; all to bring the club to its 1,600 person capacity. The night would then go on from 10pm, bar staff running ragged, door staff turning away those who failed to even try and dress up whilst the front of house staff served with a strained smile. All of it was orchestrated to flow as perfectly as it could before the fights started,ranging from arguments over entry fee to the spilling of drinks and general scraps from those who were too intoxicated to function. Fights always were expected when you had drink and 1,600 people in a confined area. After a night of dancing, drinking, puking and attempts to lure a mate back home, it all came down to the 4am close. The Dj would turn down the music, patrons would stagger out and that would be all the public saw of the glitzy club for another night. Though the workers of Liquid were far from done. Tills needed to be cashed, accident reports had to be filed, bars cleaned, bottles removed from the floor and glasses stacked before the staff could finally end their shift to drag their weary bodies home. 

Not everyone got that luxury though. 

Management, or rather the three that made up the unit, would leave soon after only to return at 8am. They’d then work through the day to replace stock, see that the club was cleaned, that all the complicated paperwork was in order, to find new deals and to set up any theme nights before 4pm rolled by. Only then could they head home and hope to catch some sleep before they were dragged right back to start all over again come 8pm.

This was very much the repetitive routine that kept Almeis about as worn out and tired as it was humanly possible to be. As the Deputy manager and second in command to the General manager ( Voland Ampora, AKA “Dualscar”,) he had to work harder than most considering that their “assistant manager” was actually the head barman Cronus. . . And Cronus was spectacularly bad at managements duties, meaning Dualscar and Almeis had to make up for his failures almost constantly. If Cronus wasn’t flirting on the job or trying to promote his shitty music, he was usually skulking off somewhere for a cigarette. Almeis was certain that if it wasn’t for the fact Cronus was a) Dualscar’s brother and b) the best barman they’d ever found; that he’d have been sacked a long time ago because of how badly he let them down in every other area. Infact it was Cronus’s failings that had forced Almeis to be here at the pubwatch meeting on his day off.

“Pubwatch” was yet another thing people did not realize was a part of running a nightclub as it was rarely spoken about outside of work. Once a month, the pubs and clubs in the area would meet and go over a list of names from the local police force. Each name on there was a person who had been barred from a club or pub or perhaps someone who was known to be a nuisance or a trouble maker. It was essentially a list of who not to be seen letting into their venues to keep up a good face and to keep the Police happy. Reputation was everything in this industry and Liquid Envy had the best in the city. For now.

“Ah, Mr.Captor! Welcome, you’re the second to arrive today”

The voice snapped the weary eyed man from his thoughts and he barely glanced at the barman who placed his tea in front of him. He was fairly regular at this particular pub as it was directly opposite where he worked. The close proximity meant that he was always dipping in for a cup of tea or a light meal rather than go all the way back home so he was well known by the staff. It was to the point they always had tea in for him as Almeis was never big on drink; and he returned the favour by allowing them to call on the door staff from his club if they had trouble in the evening when both places were open.

“The second you say? I am somewhat surprised as this is the table the meeting is supposedly being held at,” He frowned, watching the barman nod and then walk off without word. Almeis thought that it was a little rude of him not to elaborate on the matter but he needn't have waited long for his curiosity to be satisfied.

“Well well, Almeis motherfucking Captor. Shit, I had to see it to believe it”

That gritty,low growl of a voice was unmistakable, even after all these years. It was so familiar that he did not needed to look up from his cup of tea to know that it belonged to the behemoth of a man who then sat down besides him.

“Is it really that amazing that I am still in existence? Or are you merely amazed that I didn’t turn out to be a figment of your imagination?” he said, sipping on the sweet tea he loved so much and still not giving the other man the satisfaction of acknowledging him with eye contact. So many years had passed since their last meeting and the incident was still fairly raw in his mind. It was certain that looking at the other would bring on a flash back so Almeis kept his eyes elsewhere.

“You’re still a snarky little cunt aren’t you? Turn those dual coloured peepers my way brother and let this joker see how much you’ve up and changed. Never took you as a motherfucker to be rude,” came the voice. Almeis could tell by the smug tone alone that he was probably wearing a shit eating smirk on his face and so he turned to see if he was correct in his assumption. He was, however he hadn’t expected to see such intensity of the pale blue eyes that had stayed with him from so long ago. They stood out so strongly against the mess of long black hair that fell around his painted face that they seemed practically white. The only thing bigger than his hair was the hulking great form of muscle and such that was apparent even under the black hoody he was wearing. The juggalo was still very much as he remembered him, if only older and larger.

“And you are eloquent as ever, Nashir Makara” he replied, not easing on the sarcastic tone that he laced his words with. Nashir did nothing but chuckle darkly as he took a gulp of his hobgoblin ale, setting the large glass on the table with an audible thud. It seemed he was still as careless as Almeis remembered him to be. “Though, admittedly, I am unsure why you are in Newark of all places when your parting words gave the indication you would not be returning here.”

Nashir didn’t take his eyes off of him for a moment or so as if he was recalling that very incident from his past before he turned and leaned back in his seat, the lop sided smirk still present. “The dark carnival takes a motherfucker strange places, seems my ass got dragged back home because my little shit of a sibling is thick as fuck. Boy needs to get schooled on a few things. Called in some favours from the headmaster. . . Y'know, I can’t say there is any fucker in this town that doesn't owe me shit.”

“You are fooling yourself if you are considering me amongst that number,” Almeis uttered, setting down his tea in the saucer for the moment. If there was one person you didn’t want to be indebted to, it was Nashir. “I am however somewhat annoyed at myself for having not realized the obvious. I should have known you would have something to do with an attraction such as ‘The Dark Carnival.’ Whom else would come up with something so entirely horrific and fascinating at once. I’m guessing you finally took over the circus you were formerly part of?”

 

Grinning slightly wider, the gold lip ring seemed to glint in the light to add to the smug expression on Nashir’s face. The juggalo clearly appreciated that was a compliment coming from someone like Almeis. “Hah, damn right motherfucker. I’m running that miraculous show and have been doing a fine fucking job of it too. Been having some trouble with some fuck ups trying to bust into the trailers so I hauled my ass here to pubwatch to get the lowdown on the local scumbags. Didn’t expect you though. Little Almeis all suited and motherfucking booted.” He smirked, looking over the sharp suit that Almeis was currently wearing. 

Watching the pale blue eyes, the look Nashir gave him was like a hungry dog that had just found its favourite dish had gotten a whole lot better; however Almeis knew just what would wipe the expression right off of his face as he spoke softly as ever.“I am here in place of Dualscar.”

“WHAT? Are you taking the fucking piss?” he snarled, the smirk having mutated into a scowl so menacing that the faint hearted would have been reduced to a cowering mess. Almeis however, merely nodded in confirmation and once again picked up his saucer and tea cup, taking a light sip before he explained further.“It is not how it seems, thank god. No, it is simply that I am working in the same venue as him. He has given me an assistant managers job in order to support my younger brothers. Admittedly, he works me like a dog for the pitiful amount that I am on. . . But I will make it clear there was little choice in the matter of accepting the job. It was a secure position in a city where there have been literal fights for employment so naturally I took it. . . It is not as bad as before. . .”

“All that tells me motherfucker is that you’re being paid this time round.”

“It is not like that.”Almeis snapped, narrowing his eyes at the other as he set his drink back down once more. “As if I would allow myself to get into that sort of situation once again- this is neither the time nor the place to talk about such things. Fuck, you have barely been here 15 minutes and you’re already causing fucking trouble.”

Looking amused for a fleeting moment that he had managed to stir some emotion in the otherwise blank faced man. Nashir was otherwise stern faced usually but being about the other always seemed to get that smirk creeping up. Thinking about pointing this out to the huge juggalo, he stopped as he glanced at the other men coming to join them at the table for the meeting. They all greeted Almeis like an old friend and it amused him to see them looking at Nashir with caution.

“Another time then, Almeis.” Nashir murmured, giving a knowing look as he leant in and whispered to his ear. “Meet me in a repeat of when you paid your Debt to me. Saturday, 12pm.”

With that, the meeting began and neither of the two men spoke another word to one another.

\--  
\--taciturnClown [TC] began trolling twistedAffliction [TA] at 12:23 --  
TC: :o)  
TA: WH47 WH0 4R3 Y0U  
TC: YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS WICKED CLOWN ALREADY BROTHER? ITS KURLOZ, YOUR DIGITS CAME UP LINKED TO THIS TROLLIAN ACCOUNT SO I GOT PESTERING  
TA: WH4H7 50RC3RY7H 17H 7H15  
TC: WHO KNOWS MY BROKEN MOTHERFUCKER. DID YOU MANAGE TO GET YOUR RAD SELF BACK TO YOUR RESIDENCE?  
TA: Y37H5  
TC: :o)  
TA: 1 C4N D0 7H053  
TA: 8 )  
TC: :o)  
TA: 8 D  
TC: :o)  
TA: 8 )  
TC: :o)  
TA: 8 )  
TC: :o)  
TA: 8 )  
TC: :o/  
TA: 8 ?  
TC: :o|  
TA: 8 (  
TA: 1M 50RRY  
TC: YOU ARE FINE MY MOST SACCHARINE HOMIE. GOT MY HEAD SPINNING IN ALL SORTS OF CONFUSION AS TO THE EMOTES  
TA: 1 D0N7H57 KN0W 1D0N7H57 U55U4LLY 73577H M07H3RFUCK3R5  
TA: 1 0NLYH57 U53DH 17 7W0 7WLL3D WH3R3 1 4M  
TC: WORD. LET'S SCHOOL YOU ON HOW TO USE THIS DEVICE FOR SOME WICKED COMMUNICATIONS  
TA: Y37H57 1 D0 W4NK 70 7H3 C0MMUN1C47105N  
TC: FIRST THINGS FIRST MITUNA. WE’LL USE THIS TO TALK ABOUT THE SHIT WE GET UP TO AND MAKE SOME WICKED RENDEZVOUS PLANS  
TC: I AM SADLY STUCK IN THIS CESSPOOL OF A CITY UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE AND MY PUSHER SAYS TO BUST OPEN SOME DRINKS WITH A TWITCHY NINJA  
TA: C4N 1 M3337 7H47 NN1NJ4 700?  
TC: THE NINJA IS YOU  
TA: 1M 50 N1NJ4D 1 DIDN7 KN0W 1 W47H  
TC: WORD. LETS GET THIS MIRTHFUL MOTHERFUCKIN MEET PLANNED AND WE SHALL ONCE AGAIN SHARE SOME WICKED TIMES :o)  
TA: 0K L37 M3 45K 50LLUX7H  
TC: DON’T ASK THAT SCRAWNY FUCK ANY SORT OF SHIT. YOU ARE GOING TO PLAN THIS WITH APLOMB AND EXERCISE YOUR CAPABILITIES.  
TA: 4LL 7H3 FUCK Y37H. 7U35D4Y 47 1222  
TC: WHERE :o?  
TA: H3R3  
TC: THAT DOESN’T HELP THIS JOKER AT ALL IN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THE MOTHERFUCK HERE IS  
twistedAffliction sent: photo14829png  
TC: IS THAT A PHOTO OF AN ENVELOPE? LEAST I GOT YOUR COORDINATES NOW BROTHER  
TC: THE AWESOMEST OF PLANS HAVE BEEN LAID FORTH AND WILL BE SEEN TO FRUITION  
TA: WH4H47  
TC: I’LL SEE YOU TUESDAY  
\--taciturnClown [TC] ceased trolling twistedAffliction [TA] at 13:45 --

-=-=-  
10 years ago. . .

-=-=-  
 _  
Awkward was an understatement. Hell, he had seen and done some strange things in his time but Nashir had never unknowingly cockblocked someone. Well, that’s how it had seemed at first when he’d happened across the two teenagers but in review of the situation, it seemed more complicated than that._

_Now smoking a cigarette, the slender teen besides him looked cold and without emotion as Nashir watched him with interest. Really, there was not a lot he could think to say and he was thinking about walking off when the other man spoke up in a voice so devoid of joy it was slightly unnerving even to a man such as himself._

_“ . . . thankyou. . .”_

_“For what? Shit brother, all I fucking did was walk the fuck past. That hero shit is not my fucking style,” Nashir grunted, feigning disinterest and indifference at him as cigarette smoke dissipated into the air. Damn, this guy was deadpanned in expression. He half wondered if he’d ever used that as a poker face._

_“That as it may be, the act was stopped and I am spared my debt for now. . .”_

_Debt? Now this shit had gotten a little more interesting and it went someway to explain why that posh looking guy had been stuffing his cock down this poor fuckers throat. The image was still disturbingly potent in his head and he cringed a bit. He was all for voyeurism and kinks but the scene had just been so. . . wrong even by his standards. Perhaps it was a drugs debt? His mind suddenly took on a different train of thought as Nashir saw a golden opportunity to get a new customer._

_“You’d better get on and explain your shit motherfucker. I don’t give much of a fuck usually but this city’s my fucking turf and I’ll be damned if some other asshole thinks he can be spreading around the wicked products without my motherfucking say so,” he growled._

_Snorting bitterly and taking another drag, the other man shook his head and exhaled long and slow, like he was trying to breathe out his troubles. A slight feeling of curiosity made Nashir let his attentions focus on him. Short black hair, a blue and red eye, damn that shit was weird from the second he’d met him but for someone so young, it looked like he had the weight of the world on him._

_“Far from it. No, I took a gift of money to aid my upbringing of my brothers since my father passed away. I had somewhat imagined I would be able to pay it back in cash but he will not accept such things when he has so much money already. . . As it is, he takes his payment as he chooses. . . Unfortunately for me, it seems he requires physical payment. As loathed as I am to give it, he is a powerful being in the sense he has many connections about town and threatens to make my brother’s lives far more difficult than they are already. . . ”_

_Falling silent for a moment, Nashir was surprised really. Who the fuck would turn down money? That shit was hard enough to earn as it was but he supposed that swanky looking git whom had been getting his payment was probably loaded from what he’d been told. What struck him most odd though, was that this person appeared to be in something of a similar situation to his own in the sense that he had two younger brothers to provide for._

_“. . . What’s your name bro?”_

_“Almeis Captor. . . I do appreciate the cigarette you gave me however that is by no means an invitation for you to spread this. . .’incident’ around. . . I am already aware of your name. Your reputation precedes you in a rather negative way,” Almeis said, tilting those dual coloured eyes in his direction._

_The fucking audacity of that fucker! no one dared speak like that to him! Nashir had earned his reputation both as a dealer and as the local “do not fuck with this guy” for good reasons. Hell he’d been removed years ago from the local secondary school for putting the teachers head through a window and had served a small jail sentence for it. Part of him had a good mind to give this fuckers neck a good squeeze but instead, he smirked and folded his arms, turning to face the other a little more. For starts it was refreshing to talk to someone without them near pissing themselves; and second, A debt was a debt but there was a little something to be gained in helping the other. Newark was his stomping ground so all debts should be owed to him, not some fucking rich boy with an aching dick. This was going to be no exception._

_“Alright then motherfucker, I’ll up and strike you a deal which benefits the both of us and gets you out the shit with that priss who was gagging you. Lend me those ears and listen the motherfuck up if you’re all up and interested.”_

_Almeis seemed to quirk a brow and it caused an expression on him that Nashir thought was. . . he didn’t know. It made him feel a deep hunger when he looked at the pale skin and the patchy albinised part. This one was something slightly unusual in an understated, subtle way but Nashir was certain he could pick apart the pieces and get to whatever was under that cold exterior. Hell, always good to break someone interesting apart, and Almeis was very, very interesting._

_“Elaborate. . . ”_

_“I’ll wipe that fucking debt from you and you’ll be indebted to me instead. Ain’t got no business choking your throat up like that but you’ll owe this motherfucker big style,” he said, rolling his shoulders and cracking the joints a little as he stood at his full height. He was easily intimidating as he loomed over the smoking teen._

_Almeis didn’t seem too daunted however and turned from the other. “You will need to clarify your terms first.”_

_“You gone to see the motherfucking carnival yet bro?”_

_“Not yet. . .Tickets are somewhat hard to come by and it is not exactly child friendly. . . I cannot be spending money when my brothers are in need of things such as food and uniforms for school,” he said dryly, as if he had been asked something of a stupid question. Fuck, was that a little hint of emotion? Nashir would be making sure he saw more of that, he was certain about it._

_“Get your ass down to the mirthful tents on Saturday morning. Bring your little bro’s I got some cool motherfuckers who need a playmate or two,” he smirked, seeming wicked and dark as he loomed over the other. “You’ll motherfucking be there or-”_

_Almeis cut him off, looking right back at him with a burning something in his eyes, what it was he didn’t know but Nashir was a little taken aback. “-I will not be taking my little brothers anywhere if I feel it will put them in harms way and I certainly fucking won’t be letting them anywhere near-oh. . . who are they?”_

_In the time Almeis had been about to scold him, Nashir had produced a photo. It was a little worn but showed himself and two smaller boys with the same mess of black hair and donning clown grease just like the behemoth of a man they were sat with._

_“These are my little brothers and these wicked motherfuckers don’t have any bro’s to play with,” he said, a little quieter than before as he tucked the photo away again. “Be there on Saturday, midday. I’ll get to keeping up my end of the motherfucking deal.”_

_“. . . so be it.” Almeis muttered, flicking the remains of the cigarette down to the ground before starting to walk away._

_Nashir didn’t add anything to that, he didn’t need to. Something told him Almeis was as good as his word and a little playdate would do Gamzee and Kurloz the world of good. That and he could start to pry Almeis apart. . . Something told him there was a very interesting core underneath that icy shell of his._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name choices.  
> The name for The Grand Highblood [Nashir] is a shortened version of Nashira, a star in the Capricorn constellation. The Name for Almeis is much of a similar story, Almeis being a shortened version of Almeisan, a star in the Gemini constellation.


	7. Telephones

Monday morning was genuinely considered to be a shit experience by most people’s standards; but in the Captor household it was fairly functional and down to a routine. Mituna would wake up at 6AM and then proceed to burst into Sol or Almeis’s room demanding they get up. Most people would find this daily experience unbearable or would seriously consider punching the brain-addled man in the face but Sollux was more than used to his unconventional alarm clock. In all honesty it worried him more when Mituna didn’t come crashing into his room as it meant that his brother was probably sick and, oh god, was Mituna a sorry sight when he was ill. He supposed that it was for that reason he wasn’t too bothered about being down in the kitchen this early in the morning.

“TOASTH.”

“Yeah yeah, it’s not going to be any quicker if you sit there stalking it. If anything it’ll take longer because it’s filing a restraining order against the drooling moron trying to watch it cook” Sollux muttered, glancing over to Mituna who was staring at the four slotted toaster with a look of deep set impatience. Why he chose to watch the object so intently, he would never know, though Sollux was not one to question the motivations of a man like Mituna. Doing so was a little like trying to piss into the wind: ill advisable and not something that should be attempted by anyone in their right mind.

“I’M SORRY” came the apologetic mumble over the clanking, whirring sound of the washing machine flooding the fresh morning air with a sickly sweet smell of detergent. It had started up like a strange morning chorus once Sol had finished loading it up with dark clothes, and his mind sluggishly racked through any chores he might have missed. All the tasks and housework were mostly done first thing in the morning and last thing at night so as to keep on top of it. To say each one of them did their fair share was something that Almeis in particular seemed to be very proud of, though if anyone cared to ask Sollux about the matter, he’d say he was the one begrudgingly left in charge of most the domestic work. Not surprising considering one brother was constantly working and the other was less than capable. He was fairly sure he’d have more luck getting Mituna to fly than getting him to do a half-decent job of housework.

The toaster popped out much to the delight of Mituna who burst into hysterical sniggers just as Almeis walked in, showered, mostly suited (he was missing his jacket) and looking weary as ever as he immediately set about sorting out Mituna’s toast for him. Sollux had noticed long ago that their eldest brother seemed to know exactly what needed doing when and for whom. A little part of him wondered if this was the reason Almeis had gone into management.

“Good morning.”

Looking over his shoulder, Sollux asked something of a rhetorical question as he’d already leant over to flick the kettle on, “S’up, tea?”

“Indeed, Sollux. Ah, a nice cup of tea would be fantastic. Mituna, would you please get on with the washing up after breakfast?”

“HOW ABOUTH A NICE CUP OF SUUUUUUUCKKKK MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!”

This was naturally a bad choice in response on Mituna’s part as Almeis swiftly decided that the toast he had initially been buttering for his sibling was now going to serve as punishment for his rudeness. With the butter seeping into the bread as it melted, he placed it on a plate and walked straight past Mituna.“Thank you for the offer, but I’m afraid I am quite content with this toast you so kindly made for me. I shall devour it promptly and think fondly of your fuck up just now.”

“FFFFFFFFFFFFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKGGGOOOODDDD ALMEITHSSSYOU ASSHTTTTHOLLLE FUCKFUFKCING IDIOTIGH FUCKING GARBAGESD HUMPER!” seethed the younger of the two as he watched Almeis settle at the table with the toast he’d been so dearly looking forward too. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, nor would it be the last. Sollux thought it was amusing nevertheless as he added some milk to the tea he’d been making. Yes, Mituna was brain damaged, but he wasn’t immune from brotherly teasings or consequences for being purposefully rude to the head of the Captor household.

“Pipe down Mitz, there’s poptarts on top of the fridge if you say sorry” Sollux said, running a hand through his dark hair as he went to take over the cups of tea and such before he sat himself besides Almeis. He was considering reading one of the many gaming magazines on the table when a message tone suddenly sounded shrilly throughout the room, making both him and Almeis jump a little. The culprit of such a noise seemed to be Mituna’s phone as he was suddenly no longer interested about the loss of his toast and stuck his hands in the air as if to make an announcement.

“I HAVESTH...A MESSAGE!!”

Running over to the table, Mituna scooped the little device up and started beaming a smile that made Sollux a little nervous. He didn’t seem to be the only one to feel it either as his older brother spoke up about the matter.

“Care to tell us who it is from?” Almeis asked, voice toneless as ever and sipping his tea as he nodded towards the phone. Most might consider this prying but Mituna had once been on the receiving end of numerous hate messages when he had hurt Latula long ago. Whilst those close knew that sometimes Mituna lashed out without meaning to, the gossips and shit stirrers of the world painted a very different picture. It was yet another reason Mituna rarely left the house; the messages had crippled the poor lad’s confidence for a while too. That smile though - there was something about it that Sollux certainly hadn’t seen in Mituna before.

“ITHST ON MY TROLLIAN AND ITHST KURLTOZH” he stated, folding his arms as if to trap his phone against his chest for fear of having it taken away from him. Seeing the look of confusion and concern, Sollux felt the need to interject before Mituna lost more than just his toast this morning.

“I put that on there for him. It’s basically an improved version of SMS where you give out a username instead of your number. Actually, I’m surprised you don’t have it on your phone, considering it’s linked to SBURB as well. It’ll have the same username as your SBURB handle... In fact, it actually installs with the game, so you must have missed that programme entirely.” He frowned. It seemed strange as Almeisi was glued to his phone, considering the amount of texts and calls he took for work. That, and the fact eldest Captor also played the worlds most popular MMO like the rest of the house, though his eldest brother was not really the best with computers and he’d made novice mistakes like this in the past.

“I’m aware of what it is. I didn’t see the need for it and it had slipped my mind somewhat...” Almeis muttered with an air of disinterest that Sollux saw right through. 

“Yeah sure, you didn’t know a thing about it, did you? Shit Almeis, how long have you been playing SBURB?” snorted Sollux, sipping at his own tea as he eyed the way that Mituna seemed to be beaming whilst tapping away on his battered phone. He should have probably been paying more attention to Almeis as he cooly set down his cup and removed his own phone from his pocket. 

“Considering the amount I work and the amount of time I spend pratting about trying to get you two and the house’s finances into some fathomable sense of order, I have little time for anything else. Naturally though, you can always opt to take some of my housework if you feel that I should be paying more attention to the video games I rarely get a chance to play?” 

“What- no, Almeis don’t be a fucking dick-” 

“I will stop being a dick when you convince me you’re able to bite that tongue of yours it really does not do you any favours to spew the sort of nonsense that you do. I really thought Mituna was supposed to be the less eloquent of the two of you...really… ’Stop being a fucking dick.’ The entire English language at your disposal and that’s what you choose to lisp out?”

“Almeis, I swear to-”

“Anyway, before you further embarrass yourself, let us return to the topic at hand. Naturally, as you do not seem to wish to add any more chores to what will surely end up being a growing list at this rate, I suggest you do the helpful thing of setting that Trollfian-”

“It’s called Trollian you f-”

“-Trollian thing on my phone and exchange our user names and such… I also suggest you flip through the dictionary at some point. ’Don’t be a fucking dick.’ Really… Tsk” Almeis muttered, picking up one of the gaming magazines to flip through. If this wasn’t the sort of shit he had to put up with all his life, he’d be ready to scream. Though, admittedly, he wasn’t far off doing just that.

Giving something of a quiet growl, Sol was seething besides his older brother with full intent to smack Almeis upside the head; however, his target of choice changed when Mituna piped up like some shitty wrestling commentator with an unwanted opinion.

“DING DING! I THNKTHG YOU’RE BOTH DICKTS.”

Finally finding his patience had snapped, Sollux quickly necked the rest of his cooled tea and got straight up from his seat, ignoring Almeis’s phone altogether and heading out the room as he spoke. “That’s it. I’m done. I’m going. Fuck you both. No one deserves this shit at 7.30AM.” 

“WAIT.”

Sollux stopped dead in his tracks as if some invisible wall had just dropped in front of him out of nowhere. This usually happened whenever Mituna had something to say. A lot of people mistook it for kindness and patience, when really it was because Mituna would fucking follow him down the street and all the way to college if Sollux refused to listen. The worst part is it’d happened four times in the past before Sollux had learnt to just stop and listen to whatever his eccentric brother had to say for himself. 

“What is it?” he asked begrudgingly, rubbing his temples in annoyance.

“KURLOTHS SAYSTH THAT GAMZEETH ITHS OUTSIDEH OUR HOUSE!”

“Whatever.” He shrugged, figuring this was a shit attempt at a trick. Or at least he would have if he hadn’t heard a tooty horn sounding outside the door. “... You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

-=-

-twistedAffliction [TA] began trolling taciturnClown [TC] at 07:43 -  
TA: 1 T0LDED HG1M  
TC: GOOD MOTHERFUCKING JOB :o)  
TC: I HAVE A MESSAGE TO BE PASSED TO THE HEAD OF YOUR WICKED HOUSEHOLD  
TA: N0  
TC: YES  
TA: N0 7H47 CUN7H 5M34R 700KH MY 704567  
TC: BROTHER, THIS HOMIE WILL RAIN DOWN A FUCKING PARADE OF TOAST FOR YOUR SULKING LITTLE ASS IF YOU GO PUT THE RIGHT MACHINATIONS IN PLACE AND GIVE THIS USERNAME OVER TO YOUR BRO  
TA: WHY 50 W17H 7H3 81G W0RD5  
TC: BECAUSE YOU DO A GOOD MOTHERFUCKIN JOB OF SCHOOLING ME IN THE ART OF PATIENCE SO I’M RETURNING THE FAVOUR  
TC: tenebrousCarnival  
TC: THAT’S THE WICKED NAME YOUR BIG BRO NEEDS TO BE INPUTTING INTO A TROLLIAN ACCOUNT  
TA: 1 D1D 17  
TC: :o)  
TC: FUCK YES  
TA: 1 G7G P511 157H G01GN 1LL 7XC7L875H  
TC: WORD  
-taciturnClown [TC] ceased trolling twistedAffliction [TA] at 07:50 -  
-=-

Once Sollux had gotten over the shock of finding Gamzee stood outside his door (and once he’d given a harsh scolding about ‘stalker type behavior’,) he’d soon found himself walking to college side by side with the lanky juggalo through the quiet inner city suburbia. Admittedly, their walk had started off with him being in a very bad mood that Gamzee would just turn up out of the blue looking like the lovechild of a clown and a drug addict (little did he realize he’d hit the nail on the head.) Time is a healer though, even in small doses, and after a good 15 minutes of nothing but the echo of their footsteps through the sleepy streets and the rumble of traffic, Sollux looked at Gamzee’s painted face and finally spoke up.

“You could’ve just texted me.”

The clown stopped in his tracks for a moment as if he had to physically cease all movement in order to process what had just been said to him before he chuckled and gave Sollux a little nudge. “Shit brother, don’t you up and think that nonsense crossed this joker’s pan? Nah, bro, I got my fingers itching to text you all weekend and when it came to it, it didn’t work. I was like ‘Awh hell no!’ I thought your ass was ignoring mine, but it looks like I saved your digits all sorts of wrong after Kurloz took a look at it.” Gamzee hummed, swaying his head of dyed dark purple hair side to side as he resumed walking. How it was possible for someone sober to walk like a drunk at 4AM at this time of day was beyond reason (although Sollux had his doubts about Gamzee’s sobriety.) Still, it was a bit surprising to hear that Gamzee had been actively trying to get in contact with him during their short stint apart. He would’ve scoffed that it was a little needy if he didn’t realise that he’d made no such effort at all and had probably come across as an ignorant prick. Fuck.

“It’s not like I would’ve replied. I generally stick with Trollian.” He shrugged before mentally smacking himself for the idiocy of saying that. If Gamzee didn’t think he was a prick before, he probably did now. To his surprise though, the other teen’s smile grew wider and his arm flopped around Sollux’s shoulders, making him stagger a little as they walked. He was considering shoving Gamzee off of him when he heard something that struck a chord of unexpected interest.

“You should’ve given over your handle instead then. Fuck I’ve been on some bitchin’ adventures on that SBURB thing recently and that Trollian shit that came with it is fucking dope.”

“Wait, you play SBURB?”

“Yeah man. Who the fuck doesn't? Motherfuck, that shit’s awesome! I got my god tier going and everything!” Gamzee grinned, seeming to boast a little about the matter, and Sollux wondered if this was some attempt to try and impress him. If he was honest with himself, it had worked, because one: he had not expected Gamzee to be capable of using a computer, and two: he’d only got his god tier after a lot of hard work and late nights. To think that a dolt like Gamzee could get it so easily... Well, it both impressed and irked him in equal measures.

“The recent patch must’ve made it easier for new players, and by easier, I mean you can just mash your face into the keyboard and somehow achieve god tier. I remember when the game required actual skill to get ascension.” He scoffed, folding his arms a little and noticing the tart hint of weed that seemed to be coming from Gamzee. This was nothing new; he’d smelt it on the clown the last time they’d met, but it was a little more diluted this time, and he thought back to their time in the trailer and their small goodbye to one another. It’d been simple enough: an awkward exchange of numbers and a small kiss on the mouth. A lot of people expected Sollux to be totally reluctant to go into any sort of relationship, but he was human at the end of the day, and the circus performer had caught his eye. 

He didn’t know if it was the strange way he spoke or the unpredictability of him, but something peaked his interest. Frankly he was oddly attracted whilst being grossed out at the same time - if that was even possible. It was a strange and unusual crush, he knew that much, but this was a world where people could meet at a bar, fuck and form a relationship after knowing one another less than 3 hours. 

Wait, why was he even thinking this at all? 

Something said that he was trying to convince himself of these things more than anyone else. Had he really been so far into that self-loathing shit? He couldn’t make up his mind, nor would he have a chance to as Gamzee pulled him out of his haze. 

“I ain’t got much of a clue what the shit you’re on about Solbro, but if you say that shit’s easy then you gotta be a motherfucking pro player or some shit cos... Yooooooooooo, Solbro… You look all sorts of vacant motherfucker.”

They’d come to another stop and Sollux realized he’d been caught up in the conflict in his head. Once again, he had managed to make himself look like a twat, and he considered cursing himself out for it mentally until he looked at the painted face that was looking down at him. When the hell did he get so close? Regardless, there was a slight warmth to that dopey expression that otherwise seemed plastered on as thickly as his greasepaint. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that smile Gamzee always had was very superficial in the sense that it hid whatever was going on in the other’s mind (though a small part of him wondered if he was really that vacant all the time,) but still, there was something far more genuine than the last time he’d seen Gamzee and Sollux pushed his glasses up his nose to get a better look, frowning a little. 

“What?” The response was a little too blunt for what he’d intended and it made him redden slightly. He was already feeling moronic for coming off as an asshole, and that was without Gamzee just smiling down at him like that, especially with the weird prickle he could feel on his own face- Wait, was he leaning in closer? He had gotten so caught up in that burning feeling on his face along with the mental scolding of himself that he’d failed to notice Gamzee leaning in towards him. 

Aromas of weed, greasepaint and something salty filled his nose, silencing all negative thought as this clown’s mouth was barely millimeters away from his own. He wasn’t frozen up, but he wasn’t relaxed either. Rather, he was in some sort of adrenaline fuelled stupor, his chest was thumping a bit harder than it should be and his breath seemed to suddenly seem incredibly loud from the seemingly sudden silence of the world around them (brilliant, just what he wanted. Awkward, heavy breathing.)

“Figured that’d get your motherfucking attention. Get focusing outside of your head brother or you’ll miss all sorts of miraculous shit.” Gamzee grinned. 

There was serious consideration to tell Gamzee to go fuck himself, but Sollux opted to do the total opposite instead. Taking a second to judge what he was about to do (and then dismissing it,) he leant forward and kissed the other’s mouth. There was only a small moment of contact between the two of them and It wasn’t a huge, sloppy or passionate first kiss either. To him, that was fine because Sollux wanted to ‘test the water’, so to speak. That, and this wasn’t even their first kiss, as they’d shared a small peck when Sollux had left the carnival (“Hey motherfucker, you ain’t up and leaving without sealing the deal, are you?”) 

A slight intake of air through Gamzee’s nose told him that the juggalo was surprised that Sollux had been bold enough to do this, and that pissed the Gemini off slightly. People either expected him to do all the chasing or to just kick back and make no moves at all, when, in reality, he liked a good mix of the two. Aradia had been the passive type who would just wait and see whatever happened, whilst Feferi was constantly organizing things like dates and meet ups, as well as being the one making romantic gestures. Both had become ex-girlfriends for those reasons; that, and because their relationship had become predictable and dull in his eyes. That probably made him a bit of an asshole in most people’s eyes (in fact, it did,) but the way he saw it, he had every right to leave a relationship that he was unhappy in...especially after what Almeis had been through.

Pulling back, there was a slightly silken and chalky feeling on his lips that told him there was some grease paint left behind, and he was about to wipe it away when Gamzee’s thumb swept slowly across his lip to do the job for him. “Heh, aren’t you full of motherfucking surprises brother? Wanna get your meet on for lunch? I only got one lesson to be hauling my ass off to.”

“Same.”

“Alright then, gimme your handle on Trollian and we’ll take a stroll back this mirthful way. Man, I just knew this day was gonna be fucking full of miracles!” Gamzee grinned. 

“Are you some sort of shitty psychic on top of being a juggalo?” he asked. The only reply he got was a slight smirk before his boyfriend gave a slight chuckle. 

“Yeah bro, don’t you know a mystical guide when you see one? Stop walking a second.”

Gamzee came to a stop, looking left and right before turning to face Sollux, wagging his hand as if to give a wave in greeting. “Hold the motherfuck up, I’d like to be your guide through this weird ass land brother. Wanna take me up on this dope ass offer?”

“I will - if you promise to cut that shit out. I’m a nerd, but I’m not lame enough that I need to resort to LARPing,” he sniggered, shoving Gamzee a little before his ‘guide’ slung his arm around his shoulder again. It was hard not to smile just a little; that dopey cheer was sort of infectious and he felt in a good mood about heading to college for once. Perhaps this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

=-=

-telekineticAnnihilation [TA] began trolling tenebrousCarnival [TC] at 11:16 -  
TA: mIIght II ask as to why you wIIshed to have your username passed onto me? IIt was rather IIrrIItatIIng to have to IInstall thIIs program on my phone.  
TC: >:O( AIN'T MANY MOTHERFUCKERS WITH THE SURNAME "CAPTOR" KNOCKING ABOUT THIS SHIT HOLE BUT THERE IS ONE I WANTED TO KEEP AN EYE ON.  
TA: and a very good mornIIng to you too NashIIr. II should have suspected that IIt would be you. alas, my work lIIfe seems to have hIIndered my abIIlIIty to predIIct the sort of shIIt you lIIke to pull such as thIIs.  
TC: >:O( THERE'S NOTHING SHIT ABOUT IT. I NEED TO BE IN THE KNOW OF WHAT LITTLE FUCK UPS HAVE BEEN STOMPING ABOUT ON MY HOME TURF. SO WHERE BETTER TO GET SOME BITCHIN INFO THAN FROM ONE OF THE SUITS AT THE BIGGEST CLUB IN NEWARK? YOUR TRASHY LITTLE FUCKING ESTABLISHMENT ATTRACTS SCUM LIKE HUNGRY DOGS TO A BONE.  
TA: you are aware that IIt IIs beyond unlIIkely that II wIIll dIIvulge such IInformatIIon to you. you were present at the pubwatch so you will have all the information you need. frankly II am somewhat IInsulted that you would expect me to have an IInterest IIn such trIIvIIal goIIngs on when a mIInd such as mIIne IIs focused on other thIIngs.  
TC: >:O( LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE STUCK THAT THESAURUS FURTHER UP YOUR ASS SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU MOTHERFUCKER. HOW ABOUT FOCUSING THAT MIND BACK ON THIS MIRTHFUL REUNION WE SEEM TO HAVE BEEN THROWN THE FUCK BACK INTO?  
TA: II wIIll do when you stop usIIng that rIIdIIculous prefIIx you IInsIIst on startIIng your replIIes wIIth.  
TC: >:O( THIS SHITS STAYING FUCKING PUT.  
TC: >:O( AINT NO MOTHERFUCKER GONNA FUCK WITH THAT CLOWN ANGER RIGHT THERE.  
TC: >:O( BESIDES I AIN'T THE ONE WHO IS USING THAT FUCKING DOUBLE I NONSENSE.  
TA: IIt IIs somethIIng II merely put IIn place to dIIfferentIIate myself from the moronIIc quIIrks my younger sIIblIIngs have IIn place. one of whIIch IIs practIIcally unreadable unless you are aquaIInted wIIth the IIdIIocy that IIs "leet speak," whatever the fuck that IIs. anyway, thIIs does not change the fact that II am stIIll waIItIIng on the real reason as to why you have contacted me.  
TC: >:O( AND WHY THE SHIT DO I NEED A REASON TO CONTACT YOU?  
TA: because rather than waIItIIng untIIl II am at home, you have opted to contact me durIIng my workIIng hours when surprIIsIIngly enough II'm supposed to be fuckIIng workIIng.  
TC: >:O( HOW THE MOTHERFUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE AND AREN'T WORKING? YOU GOT ME DOWN AS THE FUCKING STALKING TYPE?  
TA: stalkIIng doesn't even cover IIt you ghastly paIInted bastard. do not thIInk II do not recall what IInformatIIon IIs avalIIble to you or how you "mIIraculously" managed to "accIIdently bump IInto me" on repeated occasIIons to further your IInfestatIIon of my lIIfe.  
TC: >:O( "INFESTATION?" THOSE AIN'T YOUR FUCKING WORDS SPEAKING THERE BROTHER.  
TC: >:O( THAT BITCH REALLY FUCKING SANK INTO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BRAIN DIDN'T SHE?  
TA: II do not want to speak about that.  
TC: >:O( HOW ABOUT WE TALK ABOUT YOU BUSTING MY FUCKING CAR WINDOW BACK THEN TO GET BACK INTO MY DEBT? YOU HAD SOME FUCKING LIFE IN YOU THEN. YOU REMEMBER THAT MOTHERFUCKING AFTERNOON I KNOW YOU DO.  
TA: II recall IIt as well as II recall your markIIngs.  
TC: >:O( YOU SAVED SPACE IN THAT CLOSED UP FUCKING HEAD OF YOURS FOR THAT IN PARTICULAR BROTHER?  
TA: your skIIn IIs memorIIzed IInto my mIInd as IIf IIt were my favorIIte pIIece of scrIIpture. ah, II do remember that whIIlst you are lIImIIted on words yourself, that you were always one for such verbal teasIIngs. how amused am II to thIInk that to thIIs day that thIIs mIIght stIIll be the case?  
TC: >:O( DON'T FUCK WITH ME ALMEIS, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE ASSHOLE.  
TA: do you mIIss me?  
TA: ...well?  
TC: >:O( HOLD THE FUCK UP I'M MOTHERFUCKING THINKING!  
TA: rather the opposIIte of my IIntentIIons but II am rather glad to see my former persuIIts of you were not IIn vaIIn, even IIf you are stIIll a vulgar cretIIn. II must return to workIIng before II am chastIIsed for tIIme wastIIng. good day, nashIIr.  
TC: >:O( MOTHERFUCKER.  
-telekineticAnnihilation [TA] ceased trolling tenebrousCarnival [TC] at 12:21 -  
\------

The bridge that crossed over a small canal to lead people to the college was something of a meeting point for all sorts of folk, from what Gamzee could see. There were students of all shapes and sizes, a few locals and even a couple of suited beings from the Newark Echo building across the road (Newark’s most popular newspaper!) All in all, he could see why Sollux would choose this place to meet up and also why Tavros figured it would be a good place to spy out his crush.

“Who the motherfuck we even shining our peepers at anyway?”

“It’s okay if you forgot. It’s the blonde with the eyepatch” Tavros said, his Australian accent thick and as warm as his tanned skin. The two had made friends earlier on in the day, as they were both retaking their GCSEs, and seemed to share a fairly chilled out attitude. From what Gamzee had gathered, Tavros was staying in one of the nearby RAF bases that surrounded Newark whilst his oldest brother was serving there. There was also another Nitram by the name of Rufioh that Tavros spoke endlessly about, though not half as much as he had spoken about his crush. The way he spoke about her gave the impression that she was some sort of rich bitch that had bullied him during the summer holidays (though he was insistent that there was more to it than that.) Even so, Tavros was a good guy and Gamzee was pretty pleased he’d made a friend on the first day, especially one who was happy to listen to him rap and point out when he was fucking up his classwork. Giving a slight jump, Gamzee found that Tavros had whacked his arm fairly hard and he was about to repay his friend with a bop to the head when he noticed that the mohawked Australian was nodding towards something. “Hey, there she is! Later Gamzee. Uh, I’ll add you on Trollian later.”

With that, Tavros scarpered off to go and follow after the eye patched blonde and Gamzee gave a slight wave. He was a little amused to see the two walking off together as she was clearly walking a little closer to him, regardless of the middle finger she’d put up in his face. Something told him that Tav’s affections were returned, but he wasn’t one to judge, especially as his mind was now starting to wonder off to thoughts of his own boyfriend. Where was that guy anyway? Gamzee did not need to wait too long to find out, as he noticed that some passers-by were starting to stare and glance over their shoulders at the sight of a hipster with a purple streak in his hair. The expression on his face was a smug sneer, as if he was looking down at everyone. Gamzee didn’t like it one bit and it pissed him off a little. One girl to Gamzee’s left in a jade green sari rolled her eyes and tutted. 

“Another round of Ampora versus Captor by the looks of things.” 

Wait, Captor? That wasn’t something he’d expected to hear, and his pale blue eyes scanned the scene for any signs of Sollux, before finding the familiar face of his boyfriend was already walking towards him, looking cold and annoyed. Whatever had happened, it was apparent that Sollux was not the victor. “Yo, s’up, motherfucker? What’s gone the fuck on?”

“Nothing. Let’s just go.” 

“Sure thing, brother.” Gamzee smiled, wrapping an arm around Sollux’s shoulders as if nothing had gone on at all. Heck, if Sol wasn’t in the mood for a feels jam, then Gamzee wasn’t going to try and pry it out of him. Besides, he’d noticed that the other teen had moods that changed more often than the school nurse changed underwear (that rumour had been one of the first he’d heard.) Still, he decided to let Sollux know about his day so far as the two of them started to walk. That’d totally take his mind off things, he expected. Heh, he was a motherfucking genius. Good going, Gamzee, time to fill his lover in on the day’s events. Or at least he would have done if the nudge in his ribs hadn’t caught his attention instead. There was a grunt of discomfort before he looked down at the culprit. 

“Honk.”

“Honk? What sort of bullshit is- Whatever. I’m sorry” Sollux muttered. It seemed like it took a bit of effort for him to apologise as he didn’t actually look at Gamzee when he said it; rather, he pushed his glasses further up his nose as if to conceal himself more.

“Yeah? What the shit is the deal with you at the moment? You’re all sorts of gloomy-looking and that ain’t motherfucking cool at all.”

“Thank you for that flattering observation about my face. Just what I need to make me feel infinitely better about getting my ass handed to me by a stuck-up prick.” 

The reply had been dripping with sarcasm but it didn’t really bother Gamzee all that much, as he was pretty thick skinned (or thick headed, it was impossible to tell.) Regardless of that though, he still felt a little concerned about what had gone on to put Sollux in such a foul mood. That hipster with the stupid hair streak probably had something to do with it. 

“That Ampora guy, right?” he asked, frowning a little bit as he did. He wasn’t sure if that was the guy’s name or not, but he could imagine that it was likely considering what the girl had said and the way that snooty looking teen had worn that smug look like a gold star. Sollux nodded in response and pushed his glasses up his nose once again as he spoke. 

“Yes. For some reason he’s endlessly pissed about my existence as a whole. I think the fact I got into this college on talent alone as well as the fact I boned his girlfriend before he did puts something of a proverbial thorn right into his fucking ass.”

“Ain’t no motherfucking flame without the miraculous sparks flying the fuck out first.” He knew that he had a point and Sollux did as well, judging by the way he tutted in annoyance. 

“Maybe. I’ll stop giving him shit when he admits that he’s no better than the rest of us - and when he stops bringing up Mituna. Whatever. It’s my free time now and I’d rather not spend it wasting my breath on that prick.”

A subject change seemed like something of a good idea, and one thing that Gamzee knew was always good to talk about was food. Who the fuck didn’t like themselves some tasty grub? He always thought there was something a bit strange about people who didn’t eat or who didn’t enjoy the miracles of taste and texture from a well-made meal. Just thinking about one of his favorite hobbies made his grin widen and his mouth water a little. 

“You always take a walk home for lunch Sol? Seems like a fucking trek and a half for some righteous munches…” he asked, pulling a rolled-up cigarette from behind his ear and smelling the slight scent of tobacco as he pressed it to his lips.

“No. Usually, I get a drink from the canteen, but that stuff is so overpriced, I’d have to take a loan out if I wanted to eat there every day. I just skip lunch and wait till I get home.” Sollux shrugged, looking somewhat confused as to why his juggalo boyfriend was now stood there looking like he’d just been told ICP were going to be collaborating with Justin Bieber. 

“That is most un-motherfucking-cool! Nah, bro, this shit is not swinging at all. I’m gonna get my bake on when we hit your pad sometime and show you some real good shit! Can’t let my boyfriend go without a full belly.” Gamzee grinned. He gave a slight chuckle as he set about lighting his cigarette with a purple zippo lighter that gave off that tell tale smell of lighter fluid Zippo lighters were known for. As he was about to take a drag, he was fondly reminded of when him and Sollux had shared that joint in his trailer. Damn, that night was just one huge miracle and he was about to enjoy a daydream about the occasion when he was nudged sharply in the ribs.

“HONK!”

Sollux looked a little perplexed that ‘HONK’ had been Gamzee’s initial reaction to being startled, and the clown himself felt a little bit awkward about that fuck up. That negative feeling vanished, however, when he noticed the way the other’s lip curved ever so slightly before blossoming into an amused smile. Such a small thing was not without its impact as he felt a bit of a tightening in his chest at the sight of it. Maybe he’d inhaled that smoke a little too hard? “Sorry, motherfucker, did you say something? Got all sorts of zoned out…uh… Wanna toke on this roll up?”

“I said, so long as you don’t spike it with weed or anything, then whatever... And sure” Sol replied, turning to face the taller of the two of them. Should he just reach over and place it in Sol’s mouth? Yeah, okay, he was gonna do that. It’d be more than cool because his boyfriend was totally chill with him, right? Gamzee did just that and was happy to find that Sollux allowed it, giving him something of a guilty pleasure in being able to press his fingers against the other’s mouth, even if it was just for a small moment. Nimble looking hands were placed against his own to move it away so that Sollux could breathe out and he watched as the smoke was spirited away by the slight cool breeze that was blowing through this dull suburbia. 

“You know, I can always roll you one of these bad boys. There ain’t any miraculous shit in them or anything though.”

“I don’t smoke. You dawdle so much you might as well go the whole fucking way and be wearing clown shoes, considering how long this is taking.”

“But you just fucking toked that sh-” He was interrupted by another nudge to the ribs, causing yet another yelp (or rather a ‘HONK!’) Damn, this lover of his was full of all sorts of contradictions and conflicts...and, motherfuck, did he love it. Nudging a sniggering Sollux right back, they continued the rest of the walk with talk about SBURB and why Zippo lighters seemed to make cigarettes taste better.

-=-=-

It was about this time of day when the school hours were close to ending or when those working the day shift would look longingly at the nearest timepiece to wonder how much more they had to endure of whatever job they were doing. Kurloz himself was currently checking the time, but it was simply from curiosity more than anything else, as the Dark Carnival was both his work and his home. Such a thing was genuinely one of the many wonderful miracles in his life. What wasn’t to enjoy about the fact he was able to sit outside his trailer in the autumn sun and take his sweet time with his work? Work currently being a stack of broken seats in dire need of repair. Nashir might have run the carnival from behind the scenes, but Kurloz knew who the true ringmaster was. Not that his ‘Daddy’s’ machinations were not appreciated. The fact that he did all that paperwork and such saved Kurloz a great deal of stress and time, meaning that he could concentrate on important things like repairs, checking safety equipment, orchestrating performances and the general running of the circus. Many, many things really...including dealing with troublemakers or people whom had messed with their other “trade.”

Putting down his screw driver, he wiped at his forehead with the back of his hand (not wearing his greasepaint for once as his skin needed some fresh air,) and checked his phone for any messages. It was the best way for people to communicate with him and he even managed phone calls with the assistance of a tooty horn. Once for yes, twice for no, abrupt hang up for ‘Fuck you.’ It was a simple (if not slightly ridiculous,) system and had proven effective in making sure that his fellow performers were able to get their questions answered, though most of them simply used text. 

Speaking of text messages, his phone had been absent of messages from Mituna for the last hour or so, and Kurloz was a little curious as to what the other might be up to that would keep him so quiet. Yes, it had only been two days since their meeting, but Mituna had text him fairly frequently with strange and short updates about anything and everything. Most notably, a message at 4AM, stating that he had filled the bathroom sink with lemonade. Whilst most people would find this amusing or outright stupid, Kurloz saw it that Mituna was in dire need of something other than video games and skateboarding in his garden to fulfill him. Boredom could manifest itself in such destructive ways that he did wonder what else he was driven to. 

The sudden sound of ICP’s ‘Hokus Pokus’ that shattered the calm atmosphere of the carnival camp startled him a little. What unruly nonsense was this about? Rather than checking who it was, he simply reached down and grabbed the clown horn he had nearby for such occasions. If it was a telemarketer he could simply hang up otherwise he expected that the call had purpose, as it wasn’t like anyone ever called for conversation. At least, not until now.

After pressing the answer icon on his screen, he placed the phone against his ear and immediately recognised the lisping voice on the other end that was causing his stitched mouth to smile so widely.

“HELLO KURLOTHST ITHST MITUA…MITUNA. CAN YOU HEAREDH ME?”

If he could talk, he would have said he could hear him just fine, and that Mituna’s neighbours could probably hear him pretty clearly too, judging by the volume of noise coming from his phone. Obviously, he was unable to say such things, so he settled for his usual practise of using the horn and gave it a single squeeze.

Honk.

“OKAYSHT COOL. HELLO KURLTOHZ HOWSH SHIT HANNGIN BRO?”

He was a little surprised that Mituna had taken that to mean ‘yes’, and he frowned a little in wonder at how Mituna had known such a thing before he recalled that he had taken a phone call the night he’d had the other in his trailer. Now, that went some way to explain why Mituna had bothered ringing him in the first place.

Honk.

“ME TOO. I DISNTHST FUCKING THISNK I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D TALK TO ME BECAUSE YOU DONTH HAVES A VOICE THATSH’S PREETTYY SHITTY BUTHST I TRIED ANWYAY BUT CHEKDSH THIS FUCING NOISE OUT YOU GOT. I SAW YOU DO IT WHEN I SLEPT OVER. REMEBERB THAT?”

Honk. At least his assumption had been correct. That thick, lisping and drooling nonsensical way that Mituna spoke was difficult enough in person, but over the phone, it was outright incomprehensible. Never the less, Kurloz listened on and gave his full attention. It made enough sense to him that he could understand most of what was being babbled into his ear even if it was mentioning his lack of vocals. Most tended to skim over that entirely but Mituna wasn't really the type to have a filter or the sense to omit that out. Not that he could give a flying fuck.

“YESHT, THATHS WAS FUCKINGGG COOL. EWHAT WASTTHE...FUCKING...I DON’T...I’D OTNBSH...ONE...ONE HONK ITHST..YES?”

Honk.

“HELLLSTHS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS EHAHAHAHA. OHH...OH KURLOZ...I WASTHD THE NEWS. COS I WANTHED TO SHOWED OFF MY FUCKIGN BITCHIN MOVESH ON MY BOARD BUTH ITS RAINING TWOMORRO”

Honk honk. That was wrong. He checked the weather pretty religiously, considering that rain could cause all sorts of problems in his line of work (leaking tents for one.) Kurloz knew for a fact that there was rain due on Wednesday, rather than tomorrow so Mituna had probably gotten the days mixed up.

“ITH IS.” 

Honk honk. Really? He was going to argue with him? That stubbornness was somewhat endearing, he thought.

“YETH.”

Honk honk.

“SO ITHST...NO RAIN?”

Honk.

“FFFFCUKFING TV GOTHT THERI SHIT FUCKING WRONG THFUCK ASSHOLESTH!”

Honk. There was a silent chuckle rumbling in his chest as he listened to Mituna blaming the TV for getting it wrong. He wasn’t going to correct him either (not that he could.)

“ARE WESTILL HANGING OUT?”

Honk.

“YORUS SHITHS ATH PHONECALLS MOTHERUCKED BUT IT’S COOL I LIKEHS TALKING TO HONKTH. HURTNSTH MY FUCKING EARS.”

Oh hell no, he did not just come out with that! Grinning widely, he decided time to make some proper noise and he squeezed the horn repeatedly. That would give him something to complain about.

Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk!

“FFFFFFFFFFFUCKING SHUTS THU FUCK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. EHAHAHAHA NOISYH ASSHOLE.”

Honk honk.

“YESTH. I AM GOING NOW.”

There was a moment of silence where Kurloz simply listened to the sound of a computer starting up and some strange mutterings from Mituna that were impossible to decipher before the other finally spoke to him again, though the tone sounded a little reluctant.

“OK. I AM FUCKINGH OFF NOW… BYE BUDDDYYYYYYYY DO THE TEXTING THING.”

If he was honest with himself, he was happy to spend hours on the phone like this. It’d been great so far, but that would not do their phone bills any good. Besides, there were things to be repaired and it was his turn to cook tonight.

Honk. 

If that final squeeze of the horn was heard or not, he did not know, but he held onto the phone and listened to the sound of silence. Mituna had still not hung up and Kurloz jumped a bit as the sound of Mituna dropping the phone to the floor caused it to clatter a little. Well, by the sounds of things, the phone had simply been discarded and Kurloz was about to hang up until he heard the occasional button on a keyboard being hit along with quiet mutters. From what he could make out, Mituna was saying ‘one for yes, two for no,’ over and over again as if trying to imprint it permanently into his head. Was it creepy to just sit there and listen in like that? Probably. But Kurloz decided everything could wait for a small while for once. So, he spent the next 20 minutes leant back in his chair listening to the sound of cussing and typing whilst he closed his eyes and relaxed. The chairs could be repaired later, and the unfortunate victim in his trailer could enjoy his life for just a little longer before Kurloz guided him into the cold embrace of death.


	8. Pieces of the people we love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: ::Double dots for Mituna’s signs::

The morning air was crisp and cold in Gamzee’s lungs as he inhaled deeply, breathing right back out again with a sigh as he headed across the dewy field. Even if he was half asleep, he could appreciate that there was something nice about watching the ghostly mist of his breath dilute into nothing. Maybe it was because it reminded him of getting high? Probably. All those wispy smoke trails that he would watch for hours on end in his trailer would fade in a similar manner. . .Dang those were some good times. Normally such reflections would have been a calming sort of thing, but Gamzee was more than aware of the fact his older sibling was staring daggers into the back of his head. 

“Whats up bro? Why the fuck you got such motherfucking hatred flashing up on my ass at this time in the morning?” he yawned, looking up at the narrowed eyes of Kurloz. For someone who usually plastered a creepy smile on his face, he sure knew how to look fucking pissed when he needed to. Especially with his freaky facepaint (who the fuck had the time to paint their face at 8 fucking am?.) Gamzee’s earlier question was naturally responded to with nothing but a flurry of signs as Kurloz’s fingers contorted into various shapes and gestures. 

:BECAUSE YOUR BITCHASS CARCASS IS COCKBLOCKING MY MOTHERFUCKIN RENDESVOUS WITH MITUNA!:

Any novice would find them illegible with the speed they formed, but Gamzee had been reading them long enough to know he wouldn’t have the excuse of mis-interpreting them. “Awh shit, I don’t mean nothing by it, but its cool if you’re flexing your most vicious emotions my way,” he shrugged,”A motherfuckers gotta do what he’s up and told yo.” 

This didn’t seem to improve his brother’s mood in the slightest as they trudged away from the carnival camp and towards a Landrover that was in dire need of a good clean. A huge, beast of a man was stood besides it, puffing on a cigarette and folding his arms when the two brothers approached. Gamzee nudged his sibling in the arm with his elbow as he nodded towards the vehicle. “Dad’s up, yo. D’ya reckon he’s got shit for the farmer too?”

Kurloz shook his thick head of curly hair before he lifted his hands up in front of him to sign out his response.

:PROBABLY MAKING SURE HE DOESN’T NEED TO SCHOOL YOUR PATHETIC CORPSE ON THE TEACHINGS OF WHY HOMIES GET THE MOTHERFUCK UP WHEN THE HEAD CLOWN HAS ASSIGNMENTS FOR THEM. YOUR LUCK IS UNPARALLELED IN THE SENSE YOUR SHIT-STAIN OF AN EXISTENCE HASN’T BEEN SMOTHERED THE FUCK OUT BY OUR GUARDIAN’S WRATH:

“I’m out of fucking bed ain’t I?” he muttered in confusion.  
Something of a blank was drawn when Gamzee tried to figure out what in the fuck Kurloz was giving him grief for, until he recalled what had happened the last time that he’d failed to get up. He had slept in once and awoken to Nashir kicking his trailer door in.“Oh yeah, man that was real nice of him to get me outta bed like that,” he smiled, looking back on the moment. Kurloz rolled his eyes in contempt of his brother’s blind acceptance as the two of them neared the land rover and the hulking form of Nashir.

Their self appointed father didn’t utter a word at first, simply shoving a bunch of keys towards Kurloz and then narrowing his pale eyes at the pair of them. Perhaps it was best that Gamzee had hauled his ass out of bed after all. Fuck knows he didn’t really like pissing the guy off. Not because of the beatings (Kurloz, Nashir and Gamzee fought one another for fun sometimes,) but more because his brothers wouldn’t let him forget how badly he’d fucked up for months at a time. Man, those fuckers knew how to hold a grudge.

Kurloz was the first to make contact, giving two simple signs.

:MORNING DAD:

“Mornin’ Dad”Gamzee chimed, having to look up as he gave a vacant smile. It was met with a cold, uncaring stare and a slight narrowing of Nashir’s eyes. Nothing unusual but still enough to make him feel a little bit unnerved even with a attitude as placid as his own. Nashir wasn’t one to joke about or throw a smile, although Gamzee knew for a fact that wasn’t always true. 

“We got three of these shitbags to deliver to the farmer. Get that shit driven down ASAP and don’t forget to drop that fucking box down to him either,” He growled, narrowing his eyes at the two younger clowns. “Hair and teeth?”

:TAKEN OFF-YOU THINK THIS MIRTHFUL MUTE IS STILL A FUCKIN AMATURE? YOU’RE ALL SORTS OF MISINFORMED: Kurloz signed, looking a little offended as he yanked the car door open, stepping up into the driver’s seat without much care as to if there was a response or not. Sadly, he wasn’t quick enough to avoid being smacked upside the head. That response had probably expected however, judging by how narrowly Kurloz had almost avoided it. Shame he hadn’t ducked in time, not that it did anything to improve the angry growl that rumbled from Nashir.

“Don’t make me shut you up for good boy! I WONT BE AS FUCKING GENTLE NEXT TIMEH . . . Getting real motherfucking sick of keeping your ass in line. I already got enough work with runnin’ the carnival and keeping that motherfucking toerag of a stoner in line...You got a fucking bag waiting in your trailer Gam, more where those miracles came from if you keep your motherfucking shit together.”He growled, shooting a quick glance towards Gamzee, who just remained stood about and smiling vacantly. 

“Shit yeah!”He grinned. He had been waiting all week for a fresh load of sopur. About fucking time too, he always got all kinds of edgy when he was running out. Nashir turned and looked as if he was about to head off before he paused, narrowing his pale eyes at the two of them.“You didn’t make a mess?”

Kurloz let his head fall back in mock laughter, shoulders shaking before he flipped up his middle finger and then signed away.  
:WE ENLIGHTENED THOSE PITIFUL HERETICS AS TO WHO NOT TO FUCK WITH. SCHOOLED THEM ON THEIR MISTAKES AND TRANSFORMED THEM INTO MORSELS FOR THE SWINES OF DEATH. YOU KNOW THESE SKILLED DIGITS MADE SUCH A MORBID TASK INTO A MOTHERFUCKIN ARTFORM. MICHELANGELO TUGS HIS DICK IN VICIOUS ENVY OF THE ARTFUL TALENT ME AND THE LITTLE CLOWN GOT GOING ON:

Well fuck, Gamzee was grinning with pride at his sibling’s praises and it seemed he wasn’t the only one as he watched a slight flash of a smirk on Nashir’s face. Even if the hulking brute of a man beat the two of them senseless, Gamzee was always adamant the elder did it for their own good. Some part of him envisioned it like a strict master keeping his hounds sitting and obedient instead of letting them choke themselves on the leash. Fuck knows Gamzee got out of control easily enough, perhaps thats why Nashir was happy to provide him with sopur? So long as stuff got done of course. Why Gamzee functioned better on drugs than off was something of a mystery to him, but both Kurloz and Nashir seemed to agree it was for the best.

“Yeah man, we up and got this shit. Don’t worry about a motherfucking thing, Dad” Gamzee smiled, getting a heavy hand ruffling his hair as Nashir walked past.

“Get off then and make the delivery. Drop the motherfucking box off too and then piss the fuck off till tonight,” he huffed, nodding at Kurloz and narrowing his eyes at Gamzee. “You two fuckers make sure you’re here on Saturday. Got some work for you.”

“Sure thing, I haven’t got any plans, yo.” Gamzee shrugged, watching as Nashir then started trudging off towards the carnival ground.“Laters!” he waved, a smile still plastered on his face from the head pat. Nashir was a nasty motherfucker, but Gamzee and Kurloz at least knew of a slightly softer side. Just watching him now made memories flood into his head.A fourteen year old nashir trying to teach subjects the eldest didn’t fully understand, raising them as best as he could even if it was with harsh words and a fist. 

He must have been waving for a small while as Kurloz suddenly beeped the horn, scaring Gamzee shitless. “MOTHERFU-Bitch! Imma motherfucking stitch your fingers together!” he snarled, slamming his fist against the Landrover as he started to walk around the front.

:GET THE FUCK IN AND SILENCE YOUR INCESSANT BITCHIN:

“Man, I hope those swines are hungry...” Gamzee mumbled, clambering into the 4X4 as the flick of a key made the engine roar into life, the entire car shuddering and vibrating as if it had been startled awake. A look over his shoulder showed the bags of pig feed in the back of the car, but it did little to stop the knowledge of what lay hidden underneath. A thought that was amusing more than anything as he turned back around.

“I’ll take the rest of my mirthful paint off on the way..you got wipes in here yo? I ain’t even sure why the motherfuck you painted yours.” Gamzee muttered, searching through the glovebox as Kurloz started driving down the field. A simple nod was all he’d get as Kurloz couldn’t do too many signs whilst driving. It didn’t matter though, he knew by now to just stick to questions that needed simple answers when going on road trips with his brother. “Aight yo, lemme wipe this off and I’ll get a fag lit the fuck up . . . Oh yeah . . . Wanna hear a joke?”

An enthusiastic nod came from his sibling, which was to be expected as the Makara’s loved jokes. Though Gamzee’s were usually awful. Taking out some wet wipes, he proceeded to tell the joke.

“A lady gets walking the fuck in, her left titty’s all up and hangin out, so i'm like ‘Yo! lady! Yo titty is out!” and she’s all like ‘ AWWWHHH SHIT! I left the baby on the motherfucking bus!”Honk Honk!”

Kurloz burst into a fit of slient sniggers, his breath coming fast and shaky through his nose whilst his shoulders bounced up and down. Although it’d been awful, it had at least put his sibling in a far better mood.

:SO BAD:

“Awwwh bro, I tried man, I tried” He chuckled, resting back in his seat as he finished wiping his face. Maybe Sollux would like it? With that in mind, he closed his eyes and drifted off, trying to imagine what his boyfriend might be like if he bothered to laugh once in a while.

-=-=-  
12.19

Was that cutting it close? 

Probably, but it’s not like he’d had any choice. The fucking farmer’s new dog had torn one of the bags open, making for a messy, bloody spillage right down Kurloz’s leg. Something he’d been more than furious about as it wasn’t like he’d packed a spare set of clothes. Thankfully this wasn’t too much of an issue for him because Kurloz was a smart man. 

Life on the road meant he didn’t have all the luxuries that those in stationary homes did. Long, hot soaks in the showers being one of them (though their trailers did of course, come with showers.) There was a way around this though.

Being fit was a must in their line of work, but lugging exercise equipment in their trailers was not practical with the distances they had to travel. So instead, one of the first things that they’d do when moving to a new place was to get a gym membership(or at least pay for a few days use.) Nashir was a man with many contacts, so the carnival workers got discounts in nearly every city they stopped in. Even if it was just a weekend, there was nothing better than heading down for a nice shower, a work out and then a soak in the sauna. Kurloz did his fair share of exercise but it was light compared to the steroid pumped gym rats (or Nashir and Equius for that matter.) Still, the membership had proven itself useful today, as he was able to steal a shower after the mess at the farm ( and after getting Gamzee to run into TK MAXX to grab them some new jeans and clearing off what blood he could.)

Now cleaned, his hair still damp and his facepaint neatly applied, he was about as ready as he could be as he rapped his knuckles on the door of Mituna’s house. Gamzee was stood besides him doing an impressive job of cramping his style by belching loudly.

:CUT THAT MOTHERFUCKIN SHIT OUT BEFORE I REIGN DOWN THE MOST UNHOLY OF FUCKIN VENGANCE ON A HOMIE:

“Sorry Bro, but I can’t shut my breakfast up from talking if thats what the fuck it feels like doing.”

:I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK:

“That’s ok Kurbro,” Gamzee shrugged, seeming totally unbothered by it as he flicked the end of his cigarette away. The mute was about to go and follow through on his threat when the door suddenly flung open, revealing a warm waft of air and the grinning, drool sodden face of Mituna.

“FUCK YESTH I HAVED A GUEST!”

A small wave was given in response along with a smile of his own. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it was sort of endearing how delighted Mituna seemed to be at having a guest. Kurloz assumed that Mituna rarely saw others judging by how excited he was, though it saddened him a little at the same time.

“Sup Tunabro” Gamzee said, giving a wave as well to make his presence known.

Mituna tore his eyes off of Kurloz and stared for a moment before he realized there was someone else standing there.“HELL-THE FUCK-O!” He beamed, waving enthusiastically and sniggering with delight as he was joined by a very annoyed looking Sollux, who was quick to snap at his older sibling. “Can’t you even greet someone without swearing?”

“I'M SORRY”

::I'M SORRY::

“It’s fine just-Gz? What are you doing here?” He frowned, staring at Gamzee whilst Kurloz went right ahead and stepped forward. As far as he was concerned, Sollux’s presence meant that Gamzee would be well and truly out the way, though the fact that Sollux was still in his pjamas told him that he might need to take Mituna out if he was to spend any time with him.

:SOME WICKED THREADS YOU’RE DONNING THERE MOTHERFUCKER, WANNA GET HITTING THE TOWN CENTER WITH THIS MIRTHFUL MUTE?: he signed, hoping that Mituna being fully dressed meant that he’d intended to go out anyway. Kurloz certainly hoped so anyway. All their recent texts painted a very confined, indoor life that didn’t suit someone as energetic as Mituna. Though he knew that he managed to go into town once a week from what he’d said.

“YETH. I HAVE MY SHOES LETHS FUCKIN DO THITH SHIIIITT”

:ALRIGHT BROTHER, BEST BE TELLING YOUR YOUNGEST HOMIE WHATS GOING DOWN:

Mituna nodded, but before he got a chance to tell Sollux what was going on, Gamzee had spoken up already. One hand pushing Sollux inside by the chest whilst the other was waving at them. “Have a good time bros, see you the fuck later, got my phone and all that mirthful shit-”

“GZ-Get the fuck off me! I didn’t say you could come in!”

“- So just come back here aight? Later motherfuckers.”

Both Kurloz and Mituna stared a little as the other two disappeared into the depths of the house, leaving the two of them alone and confused on the doorstep. Though not for long as Mituna soon hopped down onto the pavement, grabbing a black backpack from inside the house and then slamming the door shut with enough force to rattle the doorframe. The way it shook made Kurloz think that Mituna had been abusing the damn thing with such forceful slams for a while now.

:GENTLE YO, THAT DOOR AIN’T BRINGING HARM UPON ANYONE:

“I’M SORRY..” Mituna muttered, pulling the hood of his yellow hoodie over his head. Why the other apologized so much, he didn’t know but Kurloz wasn’t about to chastise him for it. Instead, he simply ignored it, gently patting the smaller mans shoulder before gesturing to the end of the road.

:TAXI:

“OK” 

With the destination and transport sorted, Kurloz started to walk down the street with Mituna, watching as his friend started pointing out all the walls he’d ground his skateboard against at some point or another. Kurloz was smiling widely and listening to every damn word the whole time.

-=-=-=

“Still haven’t caught em yet?”

“I did not realise you actually bothered to keep up with the news.”

“Well ye canne’ really, not when the buggers are murderin’ on ye doorstep.”

“You say that as if you have never ignored something that was blatantly happening right under your nose.”

The narrowing of Voland’s eyes told Almeis that he had struck a nerve but that was more than fine with him as he folded up his paper. The headlines were amok with the string of murders that had been taking place over the last few months. Nearly all of them were unrelated, but many people attributed it to Newark being a prime spot for missing persons. So many had disappeared over the years. Most were students or soldiers returning from service. 

None were ever found.

But that did not excuse what had happened that night. 

“Ye know better than to bring that up.” Voland growled through his thick scottish accent, glancing over the notice board before looking over his shoulder to Almeis. As much as he loathed Voland, he knew not to piss him off, especially where certain matters were concerned. His boss didn’t seem entirely done though, as he opted to delve deeper into the things Almeis did not like to talk about. “Yer still single as per our agreement?” 

Damnit.

“...Indeed.”

“Ye don’t wanna go pissin’ off her or me, ye got that?”

“Indeed.”

The need for him to state the obvious was tiring and mundane but he did it regardless.

“I’m the only reason ye got a good earnin’ job in this shit hole, ye’d do good not to forget that.”

“As if I am not constantly reminded whenever you see fit.” Almeis uttered, his face blank as he sipped his tea almost mechanically. There was little point in getting riled up, even if the awful churn in his gut and the lump in his throat were apparent to him. He couldn’t show it, lest he risk opening up another chink in his cold armour for Voland to exploit. The businessman had already taken so much from him and the other was more than aware that he couldn’t stand to lose much more. “I am aware and I do remember. You need not worry about that.”

“Good, ye don’t want another reason to be covering yerself up now do ye?” 

The smug smirk on Dualscar’s face was enough to make him physically sick as another horrific memory was brought right to the forefront of his mind, flashing before him and making him pale slightly. Even such small glimpses to that night seemed to make his stomach and chest burn with agony, as if the pain of that night had imprinted into him in more ways than one. If he wasn’t so used to the other bringing it up all the time, he may well have blanched. Thankfully, he just about managed not to and clung onto his stoic pokerface.

“I am more than aware, Voland. Though time is money. . .We have work to do.” It was a hopeful attempt on a change of subject for fear that he would have to describe what happened all over again. Voland did so enjoy making him relive it whenever possible. By now, he should have been immune to it but it seemed repetition did not decrease the impact it had on him. Something he personally resented himself for. He had worked up such a good immunity to everything in the form of detachment yet that one thing constantly got him.

The scar faced Ampora looked like he was ready to continue his torment but found the sudden slam of a door alerted his attention elsewhere. “About fuckin’ time,Cronus.”

Strolling in like he owned the place, another blonde Ampora sat himself on Almeis’s desk, nudging his tea as the bartender popped the collar of his leather jacket. A cigarette hung from his smirking lips, seemingly trying to look cool but mostly looking like a pretentious prat. He even had the audacity to wink at Almeis before addressing Voland in a purposefully smooth sounding american accent. It was so false sounding and his sleezy personality dripped in every vowel he carefully sounded. The addition of the fact he was trying desperately to pretend the scottish undertones didn’t exist made it all the worse.

“The one and only! Just swung by to see what you groovy cats needed of me.” He smirked, acting like he was doing the world a huge favour by even turning up. Naturally, his employers were less than impressed.

Almeis could barely stop the derisive sigh that escaped him as he stood up and wandered around the front of his desk to address the greaser properly. As cool as he wished to appear, Cronus was something of a coward. Something that someone as cold and practically unfeeling as Almeis could use to his advantage. It was well known that he creeped Cronus out slightly, though sadly it was not enough to stop him being a little shit. Or indeed enough for Almeis to use it to him against Voland. “We needed you hours ago when the club opened. You know that your duty is to stock the bar during the dayshift. Naturally your pay will be deducted to compensate for your complete lack of effort. I will make it clear that we are due a visit from the area manager at the end of the month and he will not be as lenient as your Uncle.”

“So?”

“So, this means yer’ gonna buck yer fuckin’ ideas up or else yer gonna make yer dear uncle look bad. Ye don’t want that do ye?” Voland barked, approaching Cronus and standing near his nephew’s side. Even if he turned a blind eye to Cronus’s antics, he wouldn’t risk anyone fucking up infront of the area manager when he was supposed to be running things smoothly as possible. Liquid had been the flag-ship nightclub and everyone knew how badly Voland wanted to have it turned into an Oceana.

“Yooooo, you guys need to cool it. . . I got it. Anyway, aren’t I supposed to be helping out with that spa-”

Almeis shot Cronus a look so cold that he physically blanched and held his hands up in the air in defense. “-sparkling example of a good guy? Tuna? What’s his name? You know, the little Captor? You know I’m being a real great guy by offering to help out on his first shift.”

Another one of Cronus’s fantastic traits was that he often lied through his teeth, something that was happening right now as he’d been assigned this task a week ago from Almeis, rather than offering. It was a shame really as he did not think Cronus was genuinely a evil person, just raised up in ill company, much like Eridan. He had met both the Ampora boys a few times and whilst he had nothing but contempt for Cronus and Voland, he rather liked Eridan. A bright lad with a vocabulary to match his own. Though Almeis was more than aware his little brother and him had their spats, but he was also well aware that Eridan was not solely to blame for them. After all, Sollux had been the initiator of their longstanding hatred.

“Regardless, you need to improve drastically or we will need to strip you of your title before the Area Manager arrives.”

“What!?”

“Ye know he’s got a point. Yer a shit excuse of an assitant-”

“-and also a rather shit excuse of a staff member in general.”

“Whoah there! way to hurt a guy’s feelings! You know I have...Issues... This just ain’t the right time and place for me, it’s hard to adjust when you don’t really feel like you belong in this century. I could’ve had a *real* bartending job back then, somewhere that really appreciates my talents.”

“There is nothing that can possibly be done about being born into the wrong decade. We have discussed this at length. There is however, a number of things we can do about you having a ‘real’ job. Namely sacking you from this one.”

Cronus looked panicked for a second before looking between the two of them, getting off the desk and starting to back out the room as he spoke.

“-Did I ever tell you what real understanding cats you guys are? Shit, I gotta go though and get that thing I was gonna put together to make Tuna feel really welcome, you know, being the great guy I am.” He finally reached the door, waved and then ducked out before either one of them could respond. 

“The boy’s an Embarrassment...Ye fancy swappin’ Mituna for him?”

Almeis shook his head and glanced at the busted up Pokemon yellow cartridge on his desk.

“I would not swap Mituna for anything.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If today had been a day of learning then Kurloz would have considered himself well and truly schooled in things not to do with Mituna.

The first thing he had learnt was that Mituna carried no money with him whatsoever. Initially he had thought that the captor family were simply neglectful, but after giving him a ten pound note he soon found out that it was because Mituna would find the nearest haberdashery and spend it all on brightly coloured buttons. What was worse was that this happened so often in the past, that the staff recognized him the second he walked in and had stopped to ask if his brothers were aware that he had money. It was those very staff members that informed him of his second lesson after some charades and a scramble for a pen and paper.

If Mituna wants to sleep, he will lay down and do just that.

According to one of the seamstresses (a indian girl in a pretty green sari called Kanaya,) Mituna had sat down and fallen asleep in the haberdashery a fair amount of times. No one seemed to mind though. He was apparently so known by the majority of the local shop keepers for doing just this, that they usually just shifted him to the back and covered him in a blanket.

The third lesson of the day was taking place right at the very moment as Kurloz and Mituna sat themselves in the town square. There were plenty of benches around the place (as well as the usual scattering of pigeons that seemed to infest all English cities,) but they’d opted to just sit and lean against a wall. It was a little better that way as they seemed less noticed than if they’d been out on the benches, something that Mituna seemed to want to avoid.

Kurloz yawned through his nose and had started to unpack the food they’d gotten from Burger King when he noticed Mituna shift a bit closer, sitting hip to hip with him almost. Well, that was certainly a little unexpected. From what he knew, Mituna detested all and any kind of touching (particularly as he’d watched the other freak out earlier after being bumped into on the street,) so the fact he was utterly cool with him warmed him somewhat. There was a little bit of him that even felt flattered but he didn’t think anything of it. Though he had to give his attention to Mituna when the other papped his shoulder and nodded at the woman who had just walked past them, signing with his hands and spelling out her name.

::ITS D-A-M-A-R-A ::

:WHAT ABOUT HER?:

::SHE WORKS AT THE D-O-J-O::

The Dojo? Kurloz had been to Newark more than a few times but this was the first he had heard anything about a dojo. Had he really been away that long? The thought made him frown a little before tilting his head, as if waiting to hear more about this.

:SINCE WHEN THE MOTHERFUCK DID THIS CESSPOOL OF A CITY HAVE A DOJO?:

Mituna sniggered somewhat and grinned widely, starting to use his signs once more.

::IT OPENED UP TWO YEARS AGO. VERY POPULAR WITH STUDENTS. D-A-M-A-R-A DOES ADMINISTRATION FOR THE POINTY GLASSES TEACHER::

:POINTY GLASSES TEACHER?:

Another snigger as Mituna waved his hands a little, as if dismissing it as a mistake. Kurloz wasn’t sure if signing was the way forward for Mituna as his hands shook so much it made the signs difficult to read. Thankfully, the other reverted back to speaking.

“DIRK STRIDER. MANNNNNNN YOU DONTHS KNOWED SHITS ABOUUED THIS PLACEDS! LOOOOOOOOOOSER!” He grinned, seeming far too smug with the notion that he might know more about Newark than Kurloz, something that the mute narrowed his eyes at. As if Mituna of all fucking people got out enough to know any sort of shit. He doubted the other would be able to tell him much so he decided to humor him.

:FINE. SCHOOL THIS BROTHER ON WHAT THE WICKED WORD ABOUT TOWN IS:

And so with a flurry of signs broken up with speech, Mituna taught Kurloz his third lesson of the day, which was that he was far more observant than people realized. It seemed that his lack of understanding lead people to gossip either to him or around him during the times he did get out. Meaning that Mituna practically had a tidbit of information on just about fucking everyone who even remotely breathed in this place. Something that was going to be incredibly useful for someone like Kurloz, who needed to be in the know of who did what with who if his brothers and himself were going to manipulate them effectively. Afterall, they were intending to reclaim their old turf. Time to double check that he had taken all this information on board (and also for a small chance to let Mituna know that he’d been listened to.)

:SO LET A MOTHERFUCKER GET THIS NOISE STRAIGHTENED OUT. D-A-M-A-R-A IS A LITTLE PARTIAL TO THE MIRTHFUL GREEN AND WORKS AT THE DOJO. THAT INSTITUTE OF THE FIGHTING ARTS IS RUN BY D-I-R-K WHO-:

“FFFFFFFFFUUUUCKKK KURLOTHZ EXPLAIN SIMPLY BRO!!” Mituna groaned, rolling his eyes and earning something of a huff from Kurloz.

:FINE. I WILL GET MOTHERFUCKIN ITERATING THIS SHIT AT YOU IN THE SIMPLEST WAY POSSIBLE. D-I-R-K IS TAPPING SOME SURVIVAL SKILLS TRAINER AT THE NEARBY R-A-F BASE CALLED J-A-K-E. EVERYONE EITHER WANTS IN J-A-K-E’S ASS OR ON HIS DICK, A TRAIT SHARED BY HIS BEST FRIEND AND CO-WORKER S-U-N-N-I-E.S-U-N-N-I-E IS AKA “THE SUMMONER” BECAUSE HE SOMEHOW CALLED AN AIRSTRIKE FROM THE BACK ASS OF NOWHERE DURING SERVICE IN AFGHANISTAN. THIS DUDE IS APPARENTLY SPENDS ALL HIS NIGHTS WITH THE LOCAL DOMINATRIX, MIND-FANG, WHO HAS ALL SORTS KNOCKING ON HER DOOR. BUT SHE ONCE TRIED IT ON WITH THE MOTHER OF THAT SEAMSTRESS WE MET EARLIER, KANAYA, WHO IS DATING SOMEONE CALLED ROSE WHO WORKS AT THE GOTH SHOP IN TOWN WITH A GIRL CALLED A-R-A-D-I-A. A-R-A-D-I-A IS YOUR BROTHER’S EX GIRLFRIEND WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE A CLOSET PYROMANIAC AND HAS BEEN CAUGHT HANGING ABOUT GRAVEYARDS MORE OFTEN THAN IS HEALTHY. SHE’S D-A-M-A-R-A’S COUSIN BUT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HALF AS VIOLENT AS D-A-M-A-R-A WHO JOINED THE DOJO TO LEARN HOW TO KICK THE SHIT INTO HER EX, R-U-F-I-O-H WHO IS APPARENTLY-WAIT AIN’T THAT THE MOTHERFUCKER I CAUGHT BONING ONE OF MY CARNIE WORKERS THE OTHER NIGHT?:

“EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH”

:MOTHERFUCK!:

“DUDESTH YOUR’ED JUSTH SCRATCHINGED THE SURFACEDS.” Grinned the smaller of the two, as Kurloz shuddered at the flashbacks of Horuss getting well and truly rammed over one of the hay bales they kept for the horses.

:HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS WHEN YOU CAN BARELY KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER? AINT NO OFFENCE INTENDED BY THAT:

There was something of a shrug and Mituna looked down at his feet, shoving a few fries into his mouth before he swallowed and spoke. “I JSUTH LISTNEDS ALOTHS..ALMEISTH SAID I'M LEIKS A SHITTY RECORDING DEVICED FOR WERD STUFF? I DONTHED CARESD ABOUT THAT SHITH I JUST REMEMBERED. ANDSTH TULA WOUULD LIEKD..FUCUUKIN...TALKED ALL THAT SHITHS WITH HER FRIENDSTH SO I LEARTNED TWO DO ITH TWO..AND...ER.....HEHEHEHEHE...DIDNT STOP...I JUST DONT TELLED AYNONED WHATH I KNOW...CETPT YOU BUTH YOU CANNED KEEP SECRETS TOO RIGHT?”

So his earlier assumption had been right. Mituna didn’t understand any of what was going on or even empathise with it, he just literally sucked up all this gossip like a sponge and retained it. In the right hands, he would be a gold mine of information and a slightly sinister smirk spread across Kurloz’s stitched lips before it turned into a more genuine one. Not only was this ridiculously useful for him, but it would hopefully mean more time spent with Mituna in order to open up this mental library of information. Particularly as it’d been mentioned that Mituna would soon start work at Liquid, right where all the gossip would be flowing between the locals. Fucking perfect. What better way to scope our fresh deals and new targets?

:YES I CAN MY SWEET MOTHERFUCKER. WE WILL RENDEZVOUS FOR THE SHARING OF SECRETS AND MIRACLES BETWEEN THE TWO OF US?JUST ME AND YOU, HOMIES HANGING OUT IN SECRET LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN PAIR OF NINJAS. HOW DOES THAT SOUND BROTHER?: Kurloz signed, knowing that phrasing things in such an exciting way would be more likely to get Mituna excited and compliant in his plans. Though something in his chest hoped that Mituna would be excited to hang out with him anyway. Afterall, he’d greatly enjoyed the other’s company today so he was keen to do it again.

A rather sunny grin was given from Mituna, the kind that showed off his fucked up teeth and the freckles that peppered his stupid yet lovely face as he nodded. “FUCK YES! WANNA DOTH THE GIRL THING?”

What the fuck? The mute looked a bit confused for a second, mind racing to try and figure out what he could have possibly meant by that statement. Nothing came up however so his only option was to raise his eyebrows.

“SLEEPIN INNED YOUR TRAIELR AGAINED.”

Oh! Well fuck yes to that! There was no way Kurloz was going to pass up on a chance to have Mituna stay over again. He nodded enthusiastically and put his thumbs up.

“SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...I WILLED...COMES AT THE END OFED THE MONTH. KAY?” he said, narrowing his eyes at the other as if to double check that Kurloz understood.

:OK:

More than Ok. In fact Kurloz was going to make sure Mituna would want to come back practically every damn week if he could. For now, he’d have to simply watch his friend stuff his face with fries and start working out some plans of action.


	9. Drapes and Carpets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thankyou to fuckingwritingdammit for all their help and patience, I sodding adore you.
> 
> As always, I love reading the reviews you guys leave in regards to this fic! thanks to all that take the effort to leave one! it really puts a big smile on my face :O)

A Friday downpour was generally considered to be enough to ruin anyone’s mood; but it seemed like Sollux was immune to such a thing. Then again, he’d not been caught out in the torrent of rain that was battering against the window of com lab 2 as he sipped on a cup of tea. Technically speaking he didn’t really need to be at the college at all, especially considering he was way ahead of his classmates and had jumped up a year. However he had to go through the motions of getting all the qualifications. All part of that *set path* he was on. 

Thinking on it now made it seem just how easy it would be to stroll along this *path*. Maybe he could wind up in London with a house of his own, having paid off the family home and found Mituna a proper carer? Nah, his brother would likely hate that. Visions of Mituna chasing some poor woman out of the house in his boxers like a maniac suddenly popped into mind, and Sollux sniggered a little. Any smile that he’d been wearing vanished when the reality of it sank in like it always did. Because he and Almeis couldn’t look after their brother forever; and Mituna sure as hell wasn’t likely to keep that new job of his for long either. Not when his temper flared up like it did.

Giving something of a slow exhale through his nose, Sollux idly toyed with the idea of just striking a high position somewhere, getting Almeis a job and then the three of them just fucking off out of this damn city for good. It wasn’t like they had any ties here. Maybe Mituna might even find a better quality of life in a different place and- 

His train of thought was interrupted by the sudden buzz of his phone vibrating against the table. More than likely it was going to be an email telling him about one of his many SBURB updates, but he was surprised to see he was being pestered by someone. Taking a wild guess, he assumed it was probably Mituna but found upon investigation that it wasn’t.

-terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling twinArmegeddons [TC] at 10:24 -  
TC: HeY MoThErFuCkEr dO yOu HaVe An UmBrElLa?  


What?

Sollux glanced out the window once again. The rain was battering so hard against it that he imagined that it might well shatter if the raindrops had been hail stones the size of footballs or something. Of course he was smart enough to know better; although he sort of wished he wasn’t sometimes. Shit, Gamzee would eat that notion right up though. He had half a mind to reply with the idea he’d just had but thought better of it. It was stupid anyway.

TA: no.  
TA: ii got a liift iin today and iim beiing piicked up at four.  


Why would Gamzee want to know that anyway? Seemed sort of pointless or like a desperate stab at conversation. Nah, he was being judgmental.

“. . . Hm.”

Sollux stared at the sent messages on his phone for a second and then pushed his phone away. Gamzee had probably just forgot his umbrella. That was it, no need to think on it.Though his mind started to wonder off again. Why had he said he was getting picked up at four? That was totally unnecessary information, Gamzee didn’t need to know that. Nobody needed to know that. Yet Sollux had decided that he needed to know that. Actually maybe he was-

A light smack to his own forehead was all he could do to stop himself going off on something of a mental argument with himself and he let out a slow, gentle sigh. No need for that shit. He’d been warned about over thinking stuff and driving himself into stress. So he just took another breath and looked at his laptop instead, pretending the phone didn’t exist.

“Whatever.”

However it soon started to buzz again, and he was almost ashamed how quickly he picked it up, swiping the screen and reading the set of messages that came through.

TC: AwH sHiT yEaH wE mAtCh BrO!  
TC: i LeFt MiNe At HoMe.  
TC: SoRtA mOtHeRfUcKiNg WeT tHoUgH dAwG, yOu KnOw If ThIs PlAcE hAs AnY tOwElS kNoCkInG aRoUnD? aIn’T rEaLlY dIgGiNg ThIs WeT cLoThEs BuSiNeSs  
TC: i'm iN tHe sCiEnCe BuIlDiNg.sollux

Sollux once again glanced to the heavy downpour that was still hammering against the windows and slowly inhaled. The science building wasn’t too far and he was fairly certain that Gamzee could do with somewhere warm to sit down if he was as wet as he said he was. Besides, sitting on his own and idly browsing the net was getting a little boring.

He gave a quick look around the lab before he got out of his seat, checking to make sure none of the tech guys were about. The last thing he needed was those losers to see his boyfriend hanging out with him and give them reason to take the piss out of him.Thankfully, it seemed none of them were around and he checked the time table on the wall to make sure there would be no lectures either. After all, he didn’t want to have to move in about ten minutes when he’d settled down with a fresh cup of tea.

TA: come two lab 2.  
TC: lAb S?  
TA: dont be a fuck.  
TA: ju2t come two the computer room that ha2 the guy who look2 liike he miight punch you.  
TC: :o)  
TC: nOw WhY tHe MoThErFuCk Is ThAt BrOtHeR aLl SoRts Of SaLtY aT mE?  
TA: becau2e for 2omeone wiith the habiit2 of a 2talker youre pretty 2hiit at turniing up two where ii actually want you two be.  
TC: dO yOu WaNnA HeAr A JoKe?  
TA: no  
TC: KnOcK, kNoCk.  
TA: who could po22ibly be there.  
TC: dO we.  
TA: do we who.  


Suddenly, without any warning, the doors to com lab two burst open violently to the sudden obnoxious singing of Gamzee makara, who was loudly and rather tonelessly belting out the Doctor who theme “DOOO WEEEE WOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOO WWWWEEEEE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOO WWWEEEE OOOOOOOO DDDOOOOOOO EEEEEEEWOOOOOOOOOOO~”

“You are such a repulsive fuck!” Sollux hissed, having been so startled by this sudden intrusion to the peace and quiet that he’d fallen off his chair and was now seething on the floor. His rage apparently seemed to do nothing but amuse his boyfriend into fits of honking laughter however, as Gamzee squelched his way over.

“HaHahahahhahaha!HONK HONK! Motherfucker!! You *FELL* for it!! HAHAHA!” he wheezed, in near hysterics about his own pun by the time he was within Sollux’s hitting range. Boy did he make good use of it, giving the gangly clown a dead leg with a swift punch. Or at least attempted to anyway. All those hacking skills gave his brain a good workout but not much else; and meant Sollux hurt himself more than Gamzee. Wincing somewhat, he grimaced and shook his hand out,feeling his frustration rising.

“UNGH-You fucking-Fuck you!” Yeah, Almeis had been right. The entire English language and he really could never pull out anything eloquent when he needed it the most. Still, he couldn’t help but find that laughter infectious and a smile was creeping its way onto his face as Gamzee sat down onto the floor with him.

“Awwwh Motherfucker! You really that mad at me brother? Gonna get all sorts of pissed off at a joker every time he does his thing? Not sure you should be getting your dating on with a clown if thats all sorts of offensive to you,” Gamzee teased, his sopping wet hair hanging in dark purple clumps as his paint ran down his face. No matter how pissed off Sollux had been initially, he knew that Gamzee had a good point, making him flush a little pink to the cheeks for a second.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Sollux got to his feet and extended a hand to the other. “Maybe i'm offended you’d think I was actually mad.” 

“Maybe you’re motherfucking flipping your shit back and fucking forth so damn much I can’t keep my clown ass up with your noise.”

“Maybe you need to work on your game then.”

“Motherfucking menyeh mneh nah myneh blah bladdy blah. My game is motherfucking smooth as all kinds of shit I’m up and telling you right now.”

“Yeah. Nothing spells swag like bursting in with a romantic rendition of the doctor who theme song that was toneless enough to make me resent the ability to hear and also the fact you managed to surprise your date so much I think I bruised my ass. Gee. So much game, my underwear is falling right down to my ankles. Just, wow. Swooning,” drawled Sollux, being certain to use the most bored tone he could possibly muster as he trailed off with a sigh at the end. He also made a point to not even look at Gamzee, opting instead to pick up his cup and idly walk away. That’s right clown, no time for giving any attention to you. Or thats the sort of thing he was going for anyway. A performance that seemed to have worked because Gamzee gave something of a huff, scuffing his foot along the floor indignantly before leaning against the wall. 

“You aint got no sense of motherfucking humor,” Gamzee grumbled, hands sliding into his sopping wet pockets.

“Or maybe you just don’t get mine.” However, even if he really believed that, Gamzee still didn’t seem so pleased. Whilst he usually got away with being a snarky dick on internet boards or with his brothers, it didn’t seem to apply to everyone and Sollux was starting to feel a knot of guilt in his stomach. As insane as it was thinking this (and this literally was the weirdest thought he had ever had in his entire life from his inner voice,) his choice in lover was a clown; who apparently was a little sensitive about his comedic skills.

A small moment passed of nothing but the purest, awkwardest silence before Sollux approached Gamzee, standing besides him and giving the other a glance before looking elsewhere. “Look. I’m. . . not used to that sorta stuff. . . It was sorta funny, really. I am just from a entire household of sarca-actually. No. I just live with one dry prick and Mituna. And you’ve seen Mituna. . . So yeah. Sorry,” he muttered. Mushy feelings and heartfelt explanation were NOT his thing at all so this was as good as it was going to get by the way of an apology.

Yet another moment passed before a clammy arm came and wrapped around him, pulling him close to Gamzees’s wet body. Sollux was about to get snide about the matter when few kisses were pressed to the top of his head, pacifying him. Though there was soon a soft mumble into his hair from the soggy clown at his side. “S’alright bro. . . Just. . . Breaks a motherfucker’s heart that I ain’t seeing that smile on your face too often,”

Well fuck. If that didn’t make him feel two million times worse than the twisting knot of guilt in his stomach, he didn’t know what would as he cringed a bit. Not only was he soaking wet, but Gamzee had only been trying to make him laugh and-god damnit Sollux decided there and then that this day sucked. It sucked so fucking badly that he was going to officially declare this the worst day on earth. “. . . Sorry. . .” he murmured pathetically, unable to think of anything else to do at all. Actually, there was one thing that he could think of. “. . . You’re making me really wet.”

“S’abit inappropriate Solbro?”

“. . . Jesus fucking christ.”

“One at a time motherfucker, one at a motherfucking time yo. . .” Gamzee sighed, grinning down at Sollux and apparently delighting in the other’s narrowed eyes before he seemed to realise that Sollux was actually getting wet from his soggy clothing. “Awh shit yo! Check that out! I’m spreading the rain’s love and shit!”

“Well before you go spreading a cold between us and before I go spreading my fist into your face, there’s a fan heater in the storage cupboard. So sit here, stay still so you don’t hurt yourself and DON’T touch my laptop,” he snapped, pointing at the machine in question.

“Aight yo. Don’t touch the laptop, you wanna fist my motherfucking face,” Gamzee grinned, sticking his tongue out a little and earning a flipped middle finger from Sollux as he walked to the edge of the lab. 

The storage cupboard was never locked. Why this was, he didn’t know. But Sollux didn’t care to ask as it was pretty useful. Back when he’d started at the college he used to hide in there when he wanted to remain hidden from a few people who’d picked on him. Namely it was people like Eridan’s older brother, Cronus, though he guessed there were a fair few others too. He’d lost count really of the amount of people he’d pissed off with his sharp tongue. Either way, the hiding place did its job well as there was a small light and plenty of things to move in front of the door. There was also a plug socket so he could sit in there for hours with his laptop and charger if needs be. However he’d not needed it for a while now.

Opening the door, he looked about for the little light and flicked it on, stepping over a box or two until he was fully inside. There were still a few things he’d brought in here that were tucked away at the back. A lightly dust covered pencil case, some empty sweet wrappers, and-was that a teacup? A clean one? He wondered where that had got to. Sollux usually kept two here incase one was stolen. “Heh. . .” he mused, about to lean down to get a better look when-

“Hey is that a motherfucking teacup?”

“SHIT!-Gamzee!” Sollux hissed, receiving what felt like the second near death experience he’d had in the space of an hour as he turned around to see a lanky juggalo stepping into the small area with his precious laptop in his arms. “Put that down-actually-NO- just-fuck!! Damnit I can’t leave you for two seconds without you going off on some whimsically bat shit tangent of unpredictability!” he snapped, grabbing the laptop from Gamzee’s arms and closing the lid before he set it safely on one of the shelves. Thank fuck, his heart was literally in his throat and he had to exhale before he spoke. “Seriously, did you have to bring that with you?”

“You would’ve been all sorts of hella rage induced if I’d have left that shit laying out there on its own, yo,” Gamzee shrugged, seemingly unbothered by Sollux’s annoyance as he looked about. That guy just didn’t give even *the* remotest fuck about how Sollux’s eyes were narrowed to the point of staring almost murderously.

“. . . I guess-whatever. Help me find the fan heater. It’s in a tall black box with green stickers on it.”

“How the fuck you know that so well?”

“I used to hang out in here a whole lot becau-” Sollux paused for a second and turned to stare blankly at Gamzee. “I will actually consider injuring you if you make any closet jokes.”

“Honk.”

Honestly Sollux felt like that was a good anticipation on his part as he tried to spot the box amongst the many others. For all his efforts however, the lack of lighting didn’t really help too much and he was about to consider asking Gamzee to open the door a little wider when he heard the soft thudding noise of it closing instead.

At that moment, Sollux realised that the simple act of closing a door could easily make his heart near stop. Especially when he turned around to find himself face to face with his slightly smiling boyfriend. He’d seen a few smiles on Gamzee’s face in the short time they’d been dating, but this was a new one on him. One that made his cheeks start to feel like they were burning a little as he tried to look anywhere that wasn’t Gamzee’s eyes or general face area. “. . . Yeah so, Hey. . . heh. Small confined space right?”

God damnit Sollux.

“. . .Hey motherfucker. . .” Gamzee grinned, ignoring his statement and coming to stand very close to remove pretty much any distance between them. He watched as the other rocked on the balls of his feet a little bit before giving something of a chuckle. A chuckle? What the fuck was this dumbass chuckling for? Sollux was almost starting to imagine this was some attempt at trying to prank him again when a sudden realisation hit him like a truck.

Gamzee was nervous. 

He knew exactly what he wanted but he was hesitant none the less and even if Sollux wasn’t entirely certain was that entailed, he had a rough idea. Two guys in a small room with dim lighting? It was pretty obvious his boyfriend wanted some make outs. Fine, he could deal with that, totally. that was certainly something he could do (or so he was telling himself anyway.) To say ‘dealing with it’ might have been a bit unfair however, as he really he did want to just step forward and smoothly engage in some hot snogging. But he was a social recluse, and he’d not had much practise with the whole kissing thing. That, and the people he had smooched before were all shorter than him where as Gamzee was 6ft and he was. . . Well, unsure what to do about the role reversal.

Not wanting to make him feel like he wasn’t interested or that he wasn’t into the other, Sollux took a small shuffle forward and glanced up at Gamzee. “. . . I'm. . . not mentioning this to be weird. . . I just don’t want to get stuff wet. . . so. . . just take your top off.”

Yeah. Way to be smooth. But seriously, Sollux really didn’t want wet clothes. They felt gross on his skin and-Wait what was going on now? Gamzee’s hands should’ve been busy with the fabric of his own clothes but instead they had come over to Sollux, starting to tug off his zipper hoody from his slender shoulders. “Sure thing yo, but your top is coming off first, alright?”

“Fair enough. . . ” Sollux mumbled, watching his hoody crumple to the floor before reaching over and removing Gamzee’s soggy one, which landed with a fat SLOP. The both of them smirked somewhat in amusement before seeming to realise that just the tshirts now remained. Gamzee of course was wearing a shitty ICP band tshirt, but Sollux wasn’t really focusing on that. Instead he looked at how the paint had stained the black fabric from where it had ran onto it from the rain and how the damp material was clinging to his form. Or at least he had been before Gamzee nudged him, as if trying to remind him that they’d made a deal. 

“Off with that shit yo,” smiled Gamzee, his voice a little quieter than he might’ve been intending. 

Heh, cute. Sollux managed to get his tshirt off easily enough and his glasses along with it. There wasn’t going to be much use for them unless Gamzee was the type to have his eyes open during a makeout. Not that Sollux was either, though once he had sorta peeped by accident. Ungh, why did he have to remember that now? 

When he felt Gamzee's slightly sweaty hands slither over his skinny hips, all thoughts were drawn away from that memory and to the toppless guy in front of him with. . . tattoos? Well, who ever had scrawled the ink onto Gamzee’s skin might have been a professional, but it was clear that Gamzee may have picked at them when they were healing because the colour was patchy here and there. Particularly compared to the ones that Sollux assumed had been re-coloured. Any intricate lines or bright colours were missed however, unable to look long enough to make out what they were as Gamzee’s forehead was soon pressed against his own. 

This really was no big deal, but his pulse was going through the roof and the simple act of breathing seemed so damn loud all of a sudden. Ungh, if he didn’t have to angle his head up to kiss this stupid idiot it’d be so much easier. Even so, he was more than just the right height for their stomachs to be pressed together as he loosely wrapped his arms around Gamzee’s waist, tracing small circles on his spine as they shared airspace for what felt like far too long. But the hands on his hips re-assured him and Sollux finally rose up on his toes a bit, pressing just a small kiss against Gamzee’s mouth. 

What could’ve been a sweet little peck, wasn’t. Sollux couldn’t help a being slightly snide about it, as if to say ‘ha, you loser, I had the balls to actually do something,’ but he could feel a broad grin from Gamzee against his lips. Stupid clown; he’d smile at anything though but that just made Sollux add one, two and then three more kisses to the other’s slightly chapped lips, feeling the bits of dried skin catching against his own. Fuck that was a bit gross but he didn’t mind too much when Gamzee started smear his own right back against his. He didn’t press hard, moving slow and languid against his mouth before parting it slightly.

This was usually their comfort zone, just slow kisses and light touches when they could get them, but they weren't in the comfort of his home or walking back from college this time. They were in a damn store cupboard at the back of a classroom and as moronic as it sounded, the lack of a tshirt seemed a good excuse as any to just forgo caution and take a few more steps into. . . Well, whatever the fuck this was. He’d done worse, actually-no, he hadn’t. He’d groped a tit in the school corridor once but that was about all - wait that totally counted right?

Sollux mentally screamed at himself to concentrate instead of plunging into some shitty distraction or internal argument when Gamzee was open-mouthed against his own. So deciding to cut the shit once and for all, he slid his hands up the other’s back and tilted his head. No time like the present.

As soon as their mouths locked it seemed like Sollux had to pull him closer, his fingers trying to curl themselves into that mess of badly dyed hair as he felt his form being pulled as close as it could get. With a slow flex of his jaw, he slid his tongue out and into Gamzee’s mouth, finding the other was more than eager to meet him. Each movement inexperienced and a not half as good as it could have been but fuck, like hell would Sollux have it any other way. Even if Gamzee didn’t seem to bring his tongue out enough or if he himself seemed to be suffocating him with how enthusiastic he was becoming. However, the clown’s facepaint was soon smeared across his taste buds as he licked the other’s lips, murmuring a bit against them. “Fucking. . . put your tongue out.”

Looking a little dazed, Gamzee managed to breathe out a reply. “Wh. . .What?”

“You’re supposed to kiss back not like, flop it about.”

“I’m trying motherfucker but you’re all up and shoving that shit down my throat!” Gamzee grumbled, still pressing kisses against Sollux’s mouth as he spoke.

“Ungh. . . sorry. . .”

Shaking his head with a smile, Gamzee seemed more than undeterred as he went back to what they’d been doing. Though there was at least a bit of an improvement as Sollux felt a bit more passion this time around. Fuck, he should’ve probably kept that a secret. Especially when he felt Gamzee’s tongue writhing leisurely about his mouth; making a rush of heat seem to tingle in his cheeks and groin. His own movements were a little more placid compared to before, but his hands certainly weren’t. They were mimicking his boyfriend’s own hands and sliding over his sides and back to feel as much as he could find of his damp skin.

Obviously there was going to be an inevitable reaction to all of this. But even with that knowledge, he still felt awkward as fuck when he felt the stirrings of an erection. There wasn’t going to be any easy way to avoid it and it sure as hell didn’t seem like either was keen on stopping.Sollux assumed they’d just make out and make it a point to ignore whatever was going on down there and-Nope, apparently not. Not when Gamzee had broken the kiss to latch onto his neck instead with a sucking kiss. “Mn-ah. . .” And now the moaning. . . Nice.

This was all levels of unexpected and his mismatched eyes widened in shock as what had been a slowly growing semi suddenly stiffened to the point it was practically fucking painful. “Sssshit. . . ” he whispered, finding himself pressing his hips against Gamzee’s in response. Initially he had thought that Gamzee would stop or be a bit freaked out but the clown fucking sniggered a little instead. That smarmy chucklefuck. Sollux would’ve been livid if he wasn’t smirking a bit as well, turning his face into the crook of the juggalo’s neck and pressing his own kisses up the curve of it. Even in the dim light, he could see there were a few burn scars here and there, things he started to suck slow love bites over. Why he wanted to replace them, he didn’t know. Could you even place a hickey over scar tissue? He didn’t really know, all he wanted to do was to get Gamzee feeling that same rush he’d gotten when his neck had been sucked on and by the sounds of the small moan he’d just heard, he’d succeeded.

What had started off as some pretty nervous kisses was quickly transforming into some heavy touching when he realized his fingers were grasping at Gamzee’s waistband, hooking themselves into the belt loops and keeping their hips pressed firmly together. There was no denying the hardened lumps between them or the slight grinds that either one would give now and again. Frankly it was fucking ridiculous that Sollux’s hand didn’t seem to dare go any further south just yet and Gamzee seemed to have bruised about every fucking inch of his neck available. However no matter how fast his pulse was racing or how his stomach churned with excitement, Sollux was soon back at Gamzee’s mouth, eagerly taking his tongue once again, though it was very short lived because he soon gave a small gasp when Gamzee eventually groaped at his ass.

“What?” Gamzee purred, grinning against the other’s lips.

“Heh. . .didn’t think you’d take shit further.”

“Nn. . . Well I like to keep a few wild cards up my motherfucking sleeves. . . Gotta keep you motherfucking surprised and eager yo. . .I like all those noises you’re making brother. . .”

What? Oh hell no.

“If that’s a challenge you’re going to find yourself well and truly losing.” There was no way he was going to let Gamzee think that he was the one who was a step ahead in this or that he was the only one with surprises. Did that clown really think that he’d have Sollux being the one to be a moaning mess? Something told him that yes, yes he did.

And that was a attitude he intended to do something about.

“Is that so motherfucker?” Gamzee mused, smirking with half lidded eyes as he moved in to connect his lips to Sollux’s once again. Sollux however, was a little too quick for him, tilting his head to the side to slide his tongue up the juggalo’s throat in a slow motion instead. Hopefully that would be a small enough distraction for what he had planned because-well, he was sure he wanted to do it- at least, he thought so anyway. Whatever, it was go time and he was determined to have that stupid lover of his scarlet-faced if it was the last thing he did; even if the other was wearing greasepaint.

After giving Gamzee’s neck a lick,, he started to move his heated kisses along his skin from his collar bone and down to his chest. Naturally a circus performer like Gamzee was going to be pretty toned considering all the acrobatic shit he pulled off. So Sollux had something of a treat for the eyes as he slid his tongue over one of the pierced nipples. Damn, he’d have to get a better look at the other later. For now his mouth worked the small nub, slithering against it slowly. Something so insignificant as a little bump on someones chest shouldn’t have caused the gasp that he heard though, making Sollux jump a bit when Gamzee groaned outwardly, biting his lip from what he could see. Heh, he’d have gotten his fingers on them sooner if he’d known the other enjoyed that but for now he was just taken aback that Gamzee managed to look both stupid and attractive at the same time, if that was possible. If he was the sort for compliments he’d have told the other he was hot, but he decided he’d show him instead.

Finally sinking to the floor after he’d kissed across the flat of his stomach, Sollux found himself face to face with Gamzee’s groin. The still soggy material and the way his polka dot belt was barely managing to keep his baggy jeans on his hips would be pretty laughable if he wasn’t feeling like his heart was in his throat. Hell, he could feel the nerves starting to creep up on him now as he glanced up at the other, meeting Gamzee’s very flushed face. One that looked like he had just hit the fucking jackpot. Though at the same time, Sollux saw there was clearly hesitation there. Ah, so this was a first for Gamzee too. At least the clown couldn’t turn around and tell him he was terrible afterwards. 

Silver linings, he supposed.

“You’re sure, Solbro?” muttered Gamzee, seeming like he was worried the other would have second thoughts. But his mind was made up, he was going to go through with his choice and- yeah, he was going do it. As long as he didn’t think on it too much he was sure he was going to be fine. So with a nod, he started to go ahead with unbuckling Gamzee’s trousers.

“No, I’m down here to tie your fucking shoelaces,” Sollux grumbled, rolling his eyes before seeing the slightly nervous smile on Gamzee’s face and the mess of dyed purple hair that was now mostly dry. Ungh, weirdly handsome fucker. “I’m cool with it.”

“Heh, joker. . .” That mused hum was so quiet and Sollux thought it was sorta sweet as he finally managed to get his boyfriend unbuckled, prying open his jeans and then tucking his fingers into the waistband as he took a shaking breath. Licking his lips a little, he took a final glance up at Gamzee again to try and hope it would stop him from feeling like he was having a heart attack.

“It’s cool man, you can do it yo. . .” Gamzee assured him, smiling softly and smoothing a hand through Sollux’s hair in what he guessed was a bid to comfort him.

“Yeah well, its easy for you to say,” he began, starting to pull Gamzee’s boxers down after seeing the hardened mound behind the black fabric. “You just have to -What in the fresh fucking hell am I looking at.”

“Heh. . .Pretty impressive right?” Gamzee smirked.

“No!! What the fuck?! The drapes match the carpet!?” Sollux gawped, looking dumbfounded as he was face to face with Gamzee’s horribly dyed mound of purple pubes. “Jeeeeeeesusss. . . I. . . Don’t know if I want to laugh that you cockblocked yourself in one fell swoop or fucking cry that I’m dumb enough to want to carry on with this shit. . . You fucked up moron.”

Seeming utterly unbothered by this, Gamzee simply shrugged, looking down at his boyfriend with his ever present smile and gently wiggling his hips. “Hey man, I ain’t one for fucking mis-matching shit. You can hardly blame a brother for wanting to make sure I’m all the right colours and shit y’know? Basic motherfucking artistic principles.”

“Gz if you don’t shut up I’m going to lose whatever is left of my erection and leave you locked in here for the rest of your very fucked up but colourful life.”

“Awh shit. . .”

Sighing a bit, Sollux took a second to assess the situation before abandoning it to what could only be labeled as a sexual encounter that was now fucked up beyond recognition. That little surprise had totally thrown him off his game but he supposed he couldn’t just leave Gamzee hanging which. . . Well, he was. . . in mid air. . . Sorta. . . Geeze, he’d managed to stay rock hard even with Sollux flipping out like that? Whatever, there was no time to get questioning his shitty standards right now, because Sollux was face to face with Gamzee’s cock and that awful shade of purple. It was go time or he’d have to just chalk this up to a thing he wasn’t into.

“Y’know if ya don’t dig this shit we can. . . oh. . . heh. . . mnn. . .” Gamzee had started talking, apparently seeming to think that it was a lost cause but Sollux had decided to at least give it a go,wrapping his fingers around the base of Gamzee’s length and giving a tentative lick to the head. Hm, that wasn’t totally awful. Of course he’d touched himself before so he knew what holding a cock was like, he wasn’t that naive, but Gamzee was a little thicker than him and probably had an extra inch and a half. Ungh, now wasn’t the time to go comparing sizes, but he guessed that was just a thing you were bound to do when your gender seemed fucking based around what your dick was capable of doing in the bedroom. . . or stationary cupboard. . . or anywhere.

Following on from his first lick was easy. He’d dug about on the internet enough to stumble across imageboards with more porn on them than a teenagers harddrive so he had an idea of what to do. Putting it into practise was going to be something entirely different however. He didn’t exactly want to end up getting throatfucked or anything but Gamzee wouldn’t do that right? Pushing those thoughts to the side, he opened his mouth and began sliding in what he could, trying this whole sucking thing as he slid his head back and forth slowly.

“F-Fuuuuckkk. . . nnnn. . . S-Shhhiit Solluxx. . .” Gamzee moaned, sliding his hand around the back of Sollux’s head and through his short hair. Had there been a shove into his mouth or a force to push him for more he’d probably have flipped, but instead Gamzee’s fingers were reassuring, smoothing over the curve of his skull and occasionally running a thumb across his cheek. In all honesty he was pretty surprised to feel flutters and a rush of heat to his face when his name was moaned, urging him to try and get more of those pleasured noises from the other. So he slid his hands up Gamzee’s thighs, caressing the slightly damp skin along the way before wrapping his arms around his hips.

All of Gamzee’s gasps and breathless moans were coming a little more urgently now as he felt those hips give barely restrained rocks against his mouth. Heh, so his lover was struggling to contain himself hm? Sollux wasn’t really sure what Gamzee’s endurance for this sorta thing was like, but one glance up at his expression told him more than enough when he saw his bitten lip and hooded eyes burning back down at him.

Fuck he shouldn’t have looked. 

That sight alone was enough to make his own cock give a twitch, toes curling a little as he gave a small moan of his own. So he decided not to look away, making sure Gamzee could see everything that was happening. Whatever he couldn’t get in his mouth (which was about under half of gamzee as he didn’t really fucking know what he was doing,) he worked his hand around. Moving it in time with his head, he slid the thick length in and out of his mouth as he watched Gamzee carefully. Surely he could get a bit more in? He was doing great so far and Sollux was feeling pretty confident he could earn some more moans from the other, especially when they sounded so damn nice. 

Trying to conjure up any images he’d recalled from the net (something he’d spent far too much time on,) he swept his tongue over the head of Gamzee’s cock, lapping along the slit before sucking him right the way in again. Judging by the loud groan and sudden lurch from the other, this was a good thing so Sollux did it again, and again. However, he got a bit too ambitious, trying to take in more than he could handle as he attempted to get more of Gamzee into his mouth than he could deal with, causing him to gag horribly when he felt something make contact with his damn tonsils.

“*COUGH*-F-FUCK!” he spluttered, eyes watering horribly.

“Shit! You Ok Motherfucker?” Gamzee asked, seeming half amused and half besotted that Sollux had even tried that for him before he was growled at.

“Be silent unless you’re moaning and never mention this again,” Sollux snapped, taking Gamzee’s cock back into his mouth and trying to ignore how badly the shame burned at his cheeks. Alright so he knew what his limits were at least, but Gamzee didn’t seem too worried, running his fingers along Sollux’s jaw and his head once again. He could’ve almost sworn there was a loving look in his eye as well, but maybe that was just his still watering eyes.

As fun as this was, it was making his jaw ache a little and he had a feeling his neck was going to hurt but he figured it was going to be worth it in the end. His own need was still throbbing a little in his jeans, restrained and unattended at present but he guessed that could hold on for the time being. All thoughts about that went as Gamzee’s hands suddenly gripped at Sollux’s shoulders,holding him in place for a moment. “Mnnnmoootherfuck! I’m gonna cum -ah!” He warned, seeming to try and give him the chance to pull off now whilst he could. However Sollux remained where he was, likely unaware of how bad things were about to taste.

His pace increased, bobbing his head back and forth as he breathed as quickly as he could manage given that it didn’t seem to be quite enough. Even Gamzee seemed to be struggling as he could feel the clown’s hands shaking against his head, fingers curling into his hair and tugging a little. If he meant to or not, Sollux didn’t know, he didn’t care. All he gave a fuck about now was getting his lover to orgasm and he slid his lips over as many inches as he could get without choking himself. A few delirious moans and a sudden unexpected buck into his mouth spelt Gamzee’s end as Sollux soon felt a hot spurt of cum flooding against his tongue. At which point he wrapped his arms tighter around the other’s hips as he sucked a little more gently; though honestly half of him wanted to throw up with how bad this stuff tasted. However, he quickly swallowed it down, looking slightly revolted about the matter as he slowly came to a stop and let Gamzee’s cock slide from his lips.

“Nnn. . . Shit. . .That tastes fucking gross. . .” he began, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and deciding there wasn’t an acid strong enough in the world to get rid of the taste of cum. Anything else he might have wanted to add onto that was pushed out of the way when Gamzee came down to his level, reaching over and dragging him right into his lap to wrap his arms around Sollux’s slim form.

“Motherfucker. . .Mmmnnmmmmmmoooooooooooooootherfucker! hah. You’re a miracle and a half. . .” Gamzee sighed, nuzzling and kissing Sollux’s mouth and cheek with soft and lazy affections. “Got real blissful mirth pumping right on through my veins cos of you my wicked. . . motherfucking. . . shit I can’t rightly think straight but you up and get what I’m meaning.”

“Too long, didn’t read, you’re feeling pretty good you got your dick sucked?”

For a second, Gamzee pulled back and looked at Sollux with something of a blank expression before shaking his head, chuckling softly. “Nah yo, cos I got all intimate with my most wicked lover. Sure the sucking was all good, but it’s just a bonus. If I only gave a fuck about getting lusty kicks then I’d have been trying to get your ass bent over ages ago. . . Naww, you really thinking I’m that shallow?” 

“No, that’s not what I meant at all.” Shit, he didn’t want to make Gamzee assume he’d been thinking Gamzee was shallow like that. Now he’d ruined the damn afterglow of their first experience together and a rather guilt ridden Sollux was about to start falling into another of his internal arguments about what to say when he felt a hand gently start to rub along his inner thigh. “. . . Didn’t you just-”

“Yeah but I ain’t the sorta joker that leaves a brother hanging,” Gamzee grinned, giving a nip to Sollux’s neck.

God damnit they were never going to leave this fucking cupboard.

 

-=-=-

-taciturnClown [TC] began trolling twistedAffliction [TA] at 18:31 -  
TC: :O)  
TA: 8 )  
TC: :O)  
TA: 8 )  
TC: MOTHERFUCKER DONT DO THIS REPETITIVE SHIT TO ME AGAIN I REQUIRE WORDS NOT SYMBOLS FROM YOUR JITTERING ASS  
TA: MY4ZZ3D 17H5 FUCK1NG FF4N7457N  
TC: I AM IN NO DOUBT OF ITS QUALITY MY FINEST GLITCH OF A FRIEND BUT ENOUGH OF THAT FUCKIN NONSENSE  
TA: N3V4RRRRRR  
TA: 8 )  
TA: 8 )  
TA: 8 )  
TC: :O|  
TC: MOTHERFUCKER CUT THAT SHIT OUT  
TA: 5UCK3D MY F7HL4CC1D NU7 54CK  
TC: YOUR LEVELS OF VULGARITY SURPASS EVEN MY LEVELS OF MOTHERFUCKIN PATIENCE AT TIMES AND THIS IS FROM A JOKER WHO WAS RAISED BY THE MOST UNCOUTH MONSTERS  
TA: UR 4 UN0U7H  
TC: MITUNA   
TA: KURL0Z7H  
TC: :O)  
TA: 8 )  
TC: HOW ABOUT WE MAKE A DEAL THAT IS BEYOND WICKED?  
TA: 5HHH111T Y33333555555555555  
TC: OK. THIS BITCHING DEAL ENTAILS THAT YOU SEND ME ONE EMOTE IN RESPONSE TO MY OWN AND NOTHING MORE  
TC: SHOULD YOU BOMBARD ME WITH MOTHERFUCKIN SYMBOLS IN PLACE OF EXPRESSIONS I WILL TAKE IT UPON MYSELF TO EXACT VENGENCE ON YOU IN THE FORM OF TURNING UP AT YOUR HOUSE UNEXPECTEDLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DARKEST OF MOTHERFUCKIN NIGHTS AND POURING ALL YOUR BUTTONS DOWN THE DRAIN  
TA: 8 )  
TA: 8 )  
TA: 8 )  
TA: 8 )  
TC: WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK DID I JUST SAY?  
TA: 8U7 1 W4NT U 7WW0 C0M3 0V3R  
TC: YOU ARE THE HEFTIEST OF TURDS  
TC: YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A WEEKEND MOTHERFUCKER. FRIDAY NIGHTS ARE WHEN THE CARNIVAL SHINES ITS BRIGHTEST AND AS THE WICKED STAR OF THE SICKEST SHOW ON EARTH I HAVE TO BE UP AND PERFORMING FOR THE MASSES  
TC: HOWEVER WHILST YOU AND I HAVE OUR RESPECTIVE EMPLOYMENTS TO ATTEND TO THAT DOESNT MEAN TO SAY THAT SHIT IS UP AND HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME  
TC: AINT NO WORD OF A LIE THAT THIS MIRTHFUL MUTE IS UNABLE TO KEEP AWAY FROM A RADICAL MESS LIKE YOU  
TC: SO I WILL TAKE IT UPON MYSELF TO GRACE YOU WITH THE MOST MIRTHFUL PRESENCE MY SACCHARINE MOTHERFUCKER  
TA: KURL0Z7H WH47 7H3 D1CK 7UGG1NG FUCK 4R3 Y0U 74LK1NG3D 480U7  
TC: IM COMING TO SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT  
TA: H07 P155!!1!  
TC: I MUST ADORN MYSELF WITH THE SACRED PAINT FOR WHAT IS PROMISING TO BE A SELL OUT SHOW  
TC: YOU MOTHERFUCKIN TEXT ME  
TA: 7X7 NUD35  
TC: YES YOU SHOULD  
TA : W4H47  
TC: :O)  
TC: HONK  


-taciturnClown [TC] ceased trolling twistedAffliction [TA] at 18:58 -  
-=-=-=-=- 

Almeis knew the other was going to be surprised. If not for the time of day, then for the fact that he wasn’t going to be keeping their rendezvous.

Then again Nashir should have known Saturday mornings were just too busy a time for him to get off. Whilst he had been hopeful that Voland would be using the club (meaning he could come in late,) it seemed that the other had decided to do just the opposite, calling him at 7am and demanding he be in by 9. That in itself was more than enough to have even the stoic captor seething as he arrived to the club, one hand fumbling around in his pocket for the keys to the front door whilst the other pressed his mobile to his ear. 

Why Cronus couldn’t be the one to do this was beyond him, but he was all too aware of how notoriously unreliable that dolt of a bartender was. That and his foul mood was not being helped by the dial tone in his ear as he struggled to find his keys. Fine. If Nashir didn’t want to answer his phone then he could feel like he was stood up and throw a sodding circus sized tantrum. Almeis had more important things to do and he could rest at ease that he’d at least tried to call the hulking idiot.

However he soon heard a low growl answering the phone. “Morning, motherfucker. . . There ain’t no reason why you should be calling me unless your ass is in trouble.”

“If I was in trouble you would be the last man on Earth I would call, Nashir, considering that trouble is a subject you are well versed in.” There was no denying that the other had a point however. It wasn’t like the two hadn’t leant on one another in the past. Although that was then and a whole lot had changed over the years.

“What’re you callin’ my clown ass up for anyway? This a booty call? Bit early ain’t it?”

Holding the phone away from his head and narrowing his eyes at it, he pressed his ear to it once again. Really he supposed that this was typical of Nashir, however, and spared the eyeroll, opting to simply shove the door open now he’d gotten the key into it. “Considering what an old git you are I’d have to call you this early for a booty call as your morning glory would be the only thing I’d be able to get a bloody ride out of. No, I am calling to inform you that I will not be attending our meeting today.”

“. . .You fucking what?”

“Nashir, do not make me waste my breath when I am both tired and somewhat close to tempted to reprogramming the alarm system to some complicated code to further piss off Voland for not turning up to work. I have a job to do,” he snapped, glancing at the keypad that he was now punching numbers into to stop the sirens screeching.

“Fucking knew you would pull this motherfucking noise on me,” Nashir growled over the phone and then hanging up. Well. Someone was bad tempered. Almeis was still halfway in the door and looked at his phone as if it had been the one to scold him when he suddenly heard a voice coming from next to him. “That’s why I motherfucking decided to up and meet you here.”

Certainly, Almeis was the aloof sort and usually wore a excellent pokerface, but he wasn’t immune to the odd jump and he did just that at the sudden appearance of Nashir’s massive form. “. . . I didn’t realise a portal from hell had opened up nearby.” An apt description he thought, considering Nashir was donned up in his usual god awful face paint and that unruly mane of hair. It didn’t help that the ringmaster had opted for some scruffy washed out jeans and a motorhead vest either.

Honestly he was initially too shocked to be as angry as he should’ve been about the sickening shit eating smirk that had started to spread across Nashir’s face. But Almeis knew just how to remedy how pleased the clown looked with himself as he glanced down at the juggalo’s empty hands, giving him not even the barest hint of a smile in return for his efforts. “Tsk, you didn’t even bring me tea. How unthoughtful.”

“I come all this way to greet you and your ass is worried if I got your motherfucking tea or not?”

“If you are going to do something Nashir, you should at least attempt to do it properly as far as I am aware,” Almeis muttered, standing to the side to allow the other to enter the darkness of the club. As with any nightclub, there were no windows in the main areas, so it was just as dark during the day as it was at night. Not that Almeis would be hanging about there for much longer. “You may as well come up to the office. There’s somewhere you can sit and I highly doubt you should be trusted elsewhere. We’re already suspicious enough that our staff members have been offloading free drinks.”

Bloody Cronus. He knew it was that lazy shit but he was usually always so busy doing his own job that he didn’t have time to catch Cronus failing miserably at his. Never the less, he was certain that even if he did manage to catch him, there was the fact that Voland was likely to let his dear relation get away with just about anything.

Nashir huffed as he was lead up the stairs, grunting out a reply. “It ain’t like I came here for the fuckin’ drinks, Almeis.” Though all his complaint seemed to do was allow him to be caught rolling his eyes. Thankfully he managed to avoid being reprimanded for it as Almeis was far too busy flicking on the lights as he moved, glancing over various posters that screamed out about the various deals the club offered.

“Good. You would not be getting a damn thing from me anyway,” muttered the other absent mindedly, barely paying his guest attention as he led Nashir towards the office door. Something that would’ve easily been missed had he not already been so used to going there day in and day out. Even punching in the code was automatic as he pushed the door open and flicked on the lights. “There. . . This is the main office area. Do come in.”

Starting to gesture Nashir inside, Almeis paused and thought better of it, opting to give Nashir a stern talking to instead beforehand. After all, he was not going to risk the other’s rather unpredictable behaviour in his place of work. “Just so you know, I will be keeping my eye on you on here so do behave. There are two desks, please situate yourself at the one with the yellow chair as the other one belongs to Voland- No, that is not an invitation to ignore me and sit there anyway.”

There was no way that Almeis could miss the crooked smirk that spread across Nashir’s face as he slid past him, smarmy and mischievous. Even now after all these years, there was an awfully wicked sense of play about the huge clown that gave a little thrill to Almeis. However there was no denying it also vexed him to the point he could swear that Nashir was the only one that could push his stress levels further than Mituna.

The club office was as organized and tidy as a room piled with paperwork, files, Tv monitors for the CCTV and a large safe for the club’s earnings could possibly be. Although cluttered, it was at least clean (mostly because he was particularly anal about hygiene,) as Almeis went over to the window, opening it up good and wide to allow daylight and fresh air in. Thankfully this wasn’t too disorientating to be in during the daylight hours due to the large windows that the rest of the club lacked, but it still wasn’t his favorite place to be. 

“Well ain’t this a miserable motherfucking place to be,” Nashir grumbled, settling behind Almeis’ desk and looking about the place with an air of disgust.

Even if he felt the same loathing for the club, he couldn’t help but feel slightly irked. “Indeed, but you know I have little choice but to be here. I have explained this to you plenty of times.”

Nashir did not seem to share the sentiment however, his eyes narrowing. “Have you? Have you really explained motherfucker? Because the way I’m seeing it, I ain’t up and heard shit from you in years and now I come back and find your ass working for Ampora even after that unmirthful fuckin deal he had on your self? I ain’t so motherfucking sure you’re really giving me the whole painting here brother. It just sounds like you’re trying to push my fucking nose out from getting too far in your business.”

One thing that made Almeis want to slide his slender fingers right around Nashir’s thick neck was his ability to see through him like a pane of glass. Whilst his blank face and flat tone hid him well enough from the rest of the world, Nashir had an awful habit of being able to crawl right under his skin and see a good deal of the wounds that were still raw and weeping. So all he could do was hold him at arms length, keeping his words sharp for his sword and his eyes dead for a shield. “Yes. I am actually, because it is of no concern of yours. In fact, any concern you might have had for me ought to have stopped the day I said I could not go with you,” he muttered, taking a moment to exhale slowly through his nose after he’d spoken. 

Ah yes. That day; the day when Nashir had offered to take him and his brother’s away with the circus. It was still fresh in his mind, as was the crushing guilt because he’d known from the get go he’d always turn Nashir down, from the moment he’d climbed in his car to the very last words he’d spoken to the clown. Everything and anything between the two of them had been unworkable and impossible. Just like she’d said.

Fuck did he loathe her for it.

Nashir didn’t seem to back down however, shaking his thick mane of hair, as if refusing everything he’d been told. What a stubborn old goat of a man. Almeis hadn’t expected any different however and merely set his mismatched eyes to look elsewhere as he listened to the other’s attempts to bait him into an argument. “Nah brother, I wasn’t born yesterday. If you’d wanted me to piss the fuck off you’d have told me to at the door and gotten the pigs on my ass already. Now, unless this is some whacked-out idea of a reunion to make up for failing to turn the fuck up at the circus, can you at least get explaining just what the shit is going down with you and this place? Because it sure as shit ain’t for the money. You’re a smart motherfucker Almeis, and you KNOW the hours ain’t adding up to the wage.”

Damnit.

There he went; picking at wounds, prying at sore spots. It was taking everything in him to fend off the need to sneer or grimace. In all honesty he wanted to do a little of both. But all Almeis could do was keep that damn mask up, simply blinking. Even then, it slipped up a little as he looked at Nashir. A bitter expression revealing itself. “What do you want me to tell you Nashir? That I am literally stuck in this position? That after you left I foolishly allowed myself to be dragged into-” He stopped himself right there and took a breath. No. Nashir didn’t need to know, he didn’t ever need to know that. “I do not need to justify why I am here.”

“Motherfucker don’t even START to pull that fetid shit with me! Don’t even pretend like you’re not trying to keep your shit from bursting at the fuckin seams! I can see right the fuck through your phony motherfucking pretense!” barked the large clown, suddenly hauling himself up from the desk before coming over to confront Almeis head on. If he was not used to the other, he may well have been close to terrified by how Nashir loomed over him, the juggalo’s face seeming to flush with anger. “I ain’t about to fucking chase you for answers every motherfucking time I see your bitch ass self looking blank faced like it’s soulless as shit. The fuck is the deal with you?” 

There was a sudden pause before Nashir looked at Almeis as if he was pitiful and disgusting, sneering a little before growling. “Or has Voland got you on your knees again?”

Now that was too much.

“ENOUGH!!- You repugnant fucking-You utter such a fucking foul notion simply because you cannot get what you want?? So you throw low blows like a spoilt brat??” Almeis hissed, livid that Nashir would assume such a thing. Though part of him wasn’t really surprised considering how the two of them had met; never the less it made his stomach churn horribly as he sneered at the huge juggalo. “Had I not been aware that your idiocy was near fucking terminal I would have half a mind to smack a few digits off of your already dwindling IQ!”

“Then how about you go right the fuck ahead and do just that, brother? Cos that sure as fuck is the most honest I’ve seen you since I’ve got back and I’d rather that than whatever mask you keep up and forcing up on those features of yours,” came Nashir’s oddly calm reply with nothing more than a fold of his arms. Almeis knew very well that the other was just waiting for him to just swing and be true to his word, but he would not do such a thing, even in the midst of such intense anger. However, Nashir soon shocked that out of him. “I’d rather have your truest hate than that plastic fucking bullshit that you’ve been pushing at me.”

Feeling his initial fury flood away as quickly as it had surged through him, Almeis sighed in annoyance. There really was no where for him to hide right now, and although Nashir was going to remain unforgiven about his earlier comment, he at least didn’t punch him straight in the face. No matter how tempted he was to do so. 

“As much as it would please you, I do not hate you quite enough to break your nose. . .You know that. . .” he sighed wearily, sitting besides Nashir on the edge of his own desk. As much as he would prefer to keep the other well and truly out of his affairs, it was not worth losing one of the few people he could stand to tolerate anymore outside of his own family. “I am working here to pay off a debt. One I owe to Voland due to having insufficient funds at the time for a divorce. Believe it or not I was wedded for a rather brief time.“ Even thinking about that year made him pale slightly before Almeis swallowed thickly and attempted to get back on topic. “He offered to help find me a lawyer in return for working here until I paid off my debt. Naturally, I took the offer due to reasons I do not care to go into right now. However, I did not expect that he would fuck me over as badly as he did by marrying her afterwards and keeping her a looming threat should I not comply,” Almeis admitted, his face becoming sullen and feeling the awful, crawling itch over his skin as he thought about his ex wife. What a horrible, horrible mistake that had been. His own, of course. “. . . I do wonder what it is about me that seems to attract the very worst in people. . . You included.”

Scoffing somewhat after Almeis spoke, Nashir glanced down at the other, a small smirk that seemed a little gruesome flashing across his face. “Best keep lying to yourself brother if you’re thinking this is the motherfucking worst my wicked self gets.”

“I suppose a lie would be nice enough for a moment,” Almeis smiled bitterly. “That really is about as good as it will get for you and I. As good as it is to see you again, Nashir, I am unsure I will be able to see much of you asides from chance meetings or text on a screen. It is much as I told you many years ago. Whatever life you and I would like, it is a happy farce and not anything we can put into practise.”

For a second or two, Nashir simply stared at the other, seeming to mull over what had been said and then wearing a smile to match one that was just as bitter as the one Almeis had worn. “D’you really motherfucking think I came here to chase you?”

“. . . I suppose not,” he replied, keeping his eyes on his on his feet. What a wonderful, awful stabbing pain in his gut he could feel now when he heard the other say it so simply like that. But Almeis let it settle in, as if accepting it was well deserved given his previous comment.

Nashir wasn’t done at all though, ready to deal a few more blows to the other as he turned to face him a little, speaking in a snarled growl. “No, I know what the fuck you’re up and like and you’re a bitter motherfucker who gets down to thinking shit ain’t ever gonna work. So no matter how the fuck I wanna get down with you, the motherfuck am I gonna be wasting my time on an asshole who can’t be motherfucked to make a single step? The fuck do you think this is? Some shitty romance movie where your ass gets chased down?”

At this point, he could’ve said that it was enough, that the nausea in his stomach was too much and that Nashir’s angry sentiments were things he didn’t need to hear. But Almeis was someone who could usually detach from negative experiences, numbing himself to it. So he supposed it was a little relief to know he could still feel them. Especially something like this he couldn’t quite escape from as he glanced at the other.“You said that before. . .”

“I know I motherfucking did. . . You spend all your time pushing me away like some fuckin toxic waste and as soon as I up and leave, you’re back like some sicknasty whiplash out of the blue and a motherfucker can’t wait to get his hands around your neck to throttle you for tormenting me like that.” 

Now that was a very awful thing for Nashir to pick on but Almeis couldn’t deny the other was utterly correct .“. . . I’m s-”

“I motherfucking love it. You sick fuck.”

What might have been better than hearing Nashir say that would’ve been a slap to the face, or perhaps being shoved off the table outright. However Almeis had to face up to the fact that he could see that smile starting to curve on Nashir’s lips and he sighed somewhat, straightening himself up. “There are so many things inherently wrong with you. . . Like some diseased beast whom is only satisfied with something sicker than itself. This is by no means healthy. . . At all. . . So do not say such moronic things.”

Nashir chuckled darkly for a moment before he exhaled slowly, peering at Almeis as if he was trying to see right through him. “I don’t ever need to mothefucking worry about is and isn’t motherfucking healthy. I still got that vision of how pained you looked with two little boys to feed and not a damn penny to your fuckin name; but you were still turning down your motherfucking wishes to give em a life. I done a whole lotta bad things, but I was pretty motherfucking sad to see you kill yourself that day. Now all you got is that blank shit you keep pulling up, so don’t get preaching on at me about what’s not motherfucking healthy.”

“As it was also sad to tell myself you mean utterly nothing to me,” Almeis added quietly, a sullen look on his face once again as he recalled that day.

“So that’s how it is motherfucker?” Nashir growled, narrowing his eyes a little in aggression, though it was easy for Almeis to see it was just to hide the sting of his comment. “Just motherfucking nothing? Gonna just fucking yank me around like that and toss me back the fuck out? Do I look like a brother who appreciates that sort of shit!?”

“Really. . . I am talking about the past, Nashir. Do not be so damn sensitive,” he muttered, rolling his eyes a little at the other man before standing up and straightening out his suit. “I had to tell myself that anyway because in all honesty you caused me utter agony after you departed. Or rather I caused it to myself. I am none for. . . emotions, as you well know, so that is the best you will get. . . But I suppose if former lovers were drugs of choice. . . You were beyond my favorite and the most lethal.”

For a small while, Nashir sat silently looking at Almeis as he looked right back at the other; the two of them seeming to share their silence. However it couldn’t last as the larger of the two shifted, standing to his full height as he came towards Almeis. What now. The last thing he needed was for this damn clown to hook him into another argument. They had spilled enough emotion for today and Almeis had half a mind to tell him to sod off if not for the calm look on the other’s face. 

“Former. . .”

Oh.

Could this possibly be worse? Perhaps. Almeis couldn’t make his mind up on this as he stood his ground and thought about all that had been said; in particular, the more awful things. But he knew very well why each one of those things cut so deep, why every exchange had been so prying and close to torment. Nashir had given him every chance, but it seemed Almeis was still somewhat greedy for more.

What an awfully painful and ugly thing love is.

“. . . Unless you think current suits you better? Regardless of how much of a catastrophe you know it will be,” Almeis replied, tilting his head slightly as a large hand came to rest on the back of his head. Even as Nashir leaned down towards him, he barely caught the sight of a smirk on the juggalo’s face. Something that told him all that he needed to know by the way of an answer. The next thing he knew, Nashir’s kiss was slowly burning through his lips, perfectly pressed and smearing against his own. Even Nashir’s warm breath seemed like an old intoxication he’d missed terribly, yanking the cork on a bottle of emotions that had been so tightly sealed that he felt his hand almost tremble a little as he gripped almost too hard on the other’s arm. Damn that clown. His kiss may well have been deadly even if it was gentle for how hard Almeis’s heart ached. But it didn’t stop him at all. It didn’t stop how their mouths moved slow and slight against one anothers or how Nashir’s arms slid around him. 

However the worst part was how it seemed to sicken him when Nashir’s breath left him drunk with the thrill of old memories when he had to pull away with a low purr “I think It motherfucking does.”

Exhaling shakily, he could see there was a similar effect on the other, something Nashir seemed to try and hide as much as he was. Oh didn’t that bring something of a smug smirk to Almeis’ face, prompting Nashir to chuckle to himself as the two men slowly pulled apart and went their separate ways; Almeis to his desk and Nashir seeing himself out of the club.

How utterly sick this all was. . . His dear friend would have had a fit if he was still alive. Thankfully, he was not there to judge, leaving Almeis to muse over the smoldering tingle that still danced over his lip.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! College means updates are few and far between but I haven't forgotten. Please leave comments and reviews if you enjoy this story!

Flipping bacon at 9am wasn’t really Kurloz Makara’s idea of a good October morning, but as it was his turn to make breakfast he couldn’t really get out of it. That and Nashir and Gamzee had unceremoniously waltzed into his caravan like they fucking owned the place. Technically one of them did, but that was besides the point. The mute didn’t really want them there right now, not when his phone would be buzzing at any second.

“-and so Zahhak has breakfast goin’ for everyone else. That’s why me and you two eat together. We got business to talk over and we always done eat our meals together.” Nashir muttered, thumbing through the newspaper as Gamzee put out a cigarette. the smoke barely had a chance to linger about before being sliced through by a paper plate hurtling towards him.

“FUCK-Awh shit what in the tits you up and throwing shit at me for!?” Gamzee snapped, however Kurloz didn’t have time for his shit right now, simply narrowing his eyes and expecting the other to understand that he shouldn’t have been smoking at breakfast time. His younger brother KNEW the damned rules, but never adhered to them. Gamzee was always whimsical that way and on certain days it drove Kurloz up the wall. Though he had a habit of turning a blind eye to it by now, simply smiling through it nonchalantly until it was time to kick him up the ass or give that little shit a black eye or two.

Moving the bacon onto plates, he started on the eggs and got to thinking about his failed meeting with Mituna. He’d really wanted to go meet up with him but had fucked up. One of the stalls had a serious issue and Nashir had also demanded he stay on site whist he got up to whatever shady shit he needed to pull. Probably meeting up with the informant. They had to keep their heads low after all. But it’d meant breaking a promise to Mituna and something about that didn’t really sit right with him. Though he didn’t get to feel guilty about it too long as come 9.15am sharp, his phone buzzed.

 

-twistedAffliction [TA] began trolling taciturnClown [TC] at 09:15 -  
TA: M0RNIGN FUCKF4C3  
TA: 1 H4V3  
TA: N00 WURK 7H17H W33K3ND H07 P115555

Perfect timing as ever.

 

He was about to wax lyrical at Mituna and try to see if he couldn’t get another meeting with him when Gamzee decided to ruin everything ever. “Who the fuck you texting bro? It ain’t like you to be up and motherfucking social.” Oh that fuck. He didn’t give a single shit as to who he was texting he just wanted to draw attention to Kurloz. And boy did it work a treat because Nashir was peering over his paper like he was automatically demanding an explanation.

And Kurloz’s explanation was a slow extension of his middle finger towards Gamzee before motioning to his Father. It was nothing, but Gamzee chuckled and turned to their father with a big grin. “Naw don’t be reading that heinous shit. Kurloz dun got himself texting my main motherfucker’s brother. Did I up and tell you I got my ass courting now?”

“Only twenty motherfucking times.” Nashir snorted, deciding it was nothing after all. “Solpuss innit?”

“Naw, Sollux Captor is his name motherfucker. Nice ain’t it? He’s got two older brothers. Ain’t seen much of the eldest one but Kurloz gets his texts on to the other one-”

Gamzee was interrupted suddenly by the sight of Nashir going wide eyed, as if he’d heard the winning numbers of the lottery. Even Kurloz raised an eyebrow to see him react in such a way. What the fuck had got the old git looking like that now? He dreaded to think as he served up breakfast, coming to sit besides Gamzee and elbowing him sharply in the ribs.

“Captors....The mother-You two are hanging about with the Captor boys? Mituna, Sollux and Almeis, I’m getting that shit up and right yeah?” 

A slow nod came from Gamzee and Kurloz couldn’t help but wonder what cogs might be turning in Nashir’s head. Whatever was happening, nothing good would come of it and he found himself with eyes locked onto his peer. :AINT NO THING MITUNA DONE TO YOU OR I. AINT NO THING VALUABLE HE GOT TO GIVE TO YOU EITHER-

“Boy, did I up and ask your digits to get fucking flying at me? Did I say shit about your bitch? Did I even up and ASK for your shit!?” Nashir snapped, his hand reaching across to slowly wrap around Kurloz’s fingers in a vice like grip. “Now...Do I have my shit right in thinking they’re Almeis’s bro’s? Or do I need to get these fuckers broken first?”

A second or two passed with the two men staring in silence, as if standing off. Kurloz was older now and he knew that whilst his DAD...or older brother standing in for one, could kick the shit into him, it wouldn’t always be that way. Nashir in turn should know Kurloz held a grudge like no other anyway. He had many for Nashir, but he let a strange smile spread across his features instead, as if peering right through the other. Now he got it. There was something he WANTED from them rather than the Captors themselves. Fine. That he could deal with.

Backing down, Nashir did much of the same, seeming pleased his message had gotten across. Him and Kurloz butted heads more often than not, but they also had a strange understanding of one another too. One that Gamzee missed entirely and merely shrugged off, stuffing his breakfast into his face. “So-wath the deal?” he asked through a mouthful of food.

“I’m up and interested because I want Kurloz here to get Mituna outta the house. Bring his ass here for a night over and your shit for brains self can haul your ass over to their house and cause an issue for me.” Nashir smirked, seeming like he’d come up with the greatest plan in the world.

:WHAT IN THE BALL TUGGING FUCK ARE YOU PLANNING:

“I up and want you boys to get his boys outta there, my wicked self has some dealings with their brother that is unfinished and you’re going to get those two pipsqueaks out. Mituna will be here and Gamzee you can...hm....You still good at drinking faygo till you puke?”

“Did it last week.” Gamzee grinned.

 

“Then that’s what you’ll up and get to doing. You’re going to get spewing that noise down the stairway and call me the fuck up to pick you up. Then I will come over and see things over from there on....This is all gonna take place next wednesday, as its motherfucking wednesday and that bitchass club ain’t swinging its doors open that night.” Nashir growled, his eyes blazing with a determination that Kurloz hadn’t seen in years. Just what the fuck was his deal with the eldest captor? Kurloz figured that he owed the other some money and left it at that, deciding he’d gotten lucky as hell to have a chance to have Mituna over....Wait,lucky?

The mute frowned at this thought for a moment before shaking it off, he was probably just glad to have someone who wasn’t circusfolk to get hanging with again. Besides, He’d hung out with Mituna before and enjoyed it more than enough. Even now a image of that drooling grin passed through his head. Though it went just as quick as Gamzee belched loudly. “AIGHT-so...Kurloz as you made breakfast, you up and gotta tell the morning joke.”

Nashir peered over his paper expectantly once again and the mute sighed through his nose. He’d not even gotten a chance to remove his stitches to eat yet, but here he was expected to perform morning traditions. So, thinking carefully, he began to relay a joke.

:THIS WICKED BITCH GOES OFF ON HOLIDAYS, ALL UP TO THE SEASIDE AN SHIT. SHE GETS HER BEST BRO TO LOOK AFTER HER MOTHERFUCKIN PET ALL RESPOSIBLE LIKE.

HE CALLS HER ASS UP AND SAYS ‘I HAVE BAD NEWS, THAT WHISKERED FUCKER IS UP AND DEAD’

THIS BITCH AIN’T IMPRESSED AND SCHOOLS THIS ASSHOLE ON SOME ETIQUETTE. ‘MOTHERFUCKER! YOU CAN’T UP AND PULL THAT HARSHWHIMSY ON MY ASS WHEN I’M GETTING WICKED RESTS ON! YOU SHOULD’VE DONE IT IN STAGES! FIRST DAY SAYIN SHIT LIKE YO, CATS STUCK ON THE ROOF, THEN THE SECOND DAY, YO, CAT GOT FUCKED UP, THEN FINALLY, CAT DUN DEPARTED ITS ASS OFF TO SHANGRI LOL.’

SO AFTER THE PHONECALL THIS BITCH GOES BACK TO HAVING A RIGHTEOUSLY GOOD TIME UNTIL HER MOBILE DEVICE GETS RINGING AGAIN. IT’S HER WICKED BRO. SHE PICKS UP. ‘SUP HOMIE’

‘YO SISTER, I GOT BAD NEWS, GRANDMA IS STUCK ON THE MOTHERFUCKIN ROOF!’ HONK HONK!:

Making some jazz hands like this shit was hilarious, Kurloz watched Nashir smirk and Gamzee chuckle. All jokes were welcome amongst clowns and juggalos so long as shit didn’t get Blasphemous or slanderous. Kurloz always liked morbid jokes himself and chuckled soundlessly as he glanced to his phone again...

Oh.

OH!

Fuck he’d left Mituna hanging!! Shit that was no good, especially if Nashir’s plan was going to swing into action tonight. Sweeping his phone back into his hand, he typed out a response at long last.

TC: SORRY FOR THE WAIT MY NINJA. IT IS MY TURN TO PLAY THE CEREMONIOUS ROLE OF CHEF THIS MORNING  
TC: I NEED TO BE KNOWING SOMETHING FROM YOUR WICKED SELF THOUGH  
TC: HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT COMING TO STAY OVER THIS MIRTHFUL CLOWN’S PAD NEXT WEDNESDAY?  
TC: I CAN PAY FOR YOUR TAXI SO YOU DON’T NEED TO BE TAKING NO QUEST TO GET HERE

There. That would surely set Mituna into a spiral of excitement...or...shit what time was it? Ten thirty, fuck he’d be playing on that shitty MMO already and wouldn’t be paying attention to no fucking thing. Kurloz had a vital role to play in this plan and had already fucked it up by passing over that tiny little detail. He almost wanted to scream with rage towards himself. How could he have forgotten a simple fucking text?? It was ludicrous! Disgusting that he should fail like this when he was usually so PERFECT at executing what he was told to do and-

His fretting came to a stop when his phone buzzed, the mobile rattling against the table with a new message. Oh thank the mirthful beings.

TA: 5H17H Y44444444444447HHHHHH FUCK1GNH5H5H5H5 Y337HHH 1 WN47H4 D0 747H F7H1G1U  
TA: 3W1UR  
TA: W417 L3MM3  
TA: 7YP3 7H47 4G4N1  
TA: Y35  
TA: 1 W1LL C0M3 CH1LL W1V U PLZ

“The fuck are you smiling about?” Nashir asked. Kurloz blinked before realizing that he’d apparently been wearing a smile so wide his stitches had been hurting him somewhat. Well. No need to get elaborating about that was there? He simply smiled more and took a bow, as if he’d performed another excellent night at the show before signing.

:IT IS DONE. MY WICKED NINJA IS COMING TO STAY WITH ME. I WILL BRING HIM HERE AT 5 NEXT WEDNESDAY:

“Aight. Gam, get your shit over there at the same time.” came a grumbled reply “AND DONT BE FUCKING GETTING HIGH ON SOPER I NEED YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GOT IT??”

“MOTHERFUCK!!! Honk! We getting our shouts on? Seems a bit unfair when our bro can’t be joining in.” Gamzee smiled, sliding out of his seat and slinking off towards the door. “I got this shit yo, don’t you be worrying.”

Nashir shook his head and went back to scanning the newspaper. “He ain’t got shit...Those last few performances have been sloppy and it’s on your motherfuckin head Kurloz. You’re both lettin down the old goat.”

That was a little unfair, but Kurloz couldn’t deny that Gamzee was getting shitty with his performances. He’d nearly had several injuries and also caused him a few mishaps too. :AINT SHIT TO DO WITH ME. BUT I CAN UP AND IMAGINE THE SORT OF LEVERAGE THAT WOULD PROVE BENEFICIAL IN SCHOOLING THIS SHITBAG: Kurloz signed, pointing to Nashir and then to himself before adding : S-O-L-L-U-X:

“...Ain’t sure denying him is gonna do shit other than make him all sorts of pissed. Don’t wanna repeat of when he nearly killed Nepeta.”

:BRING THAT LITTLE SHIT BIT ALONG TO WATCH HIS TUTELAGE. MOTHERFUCKER IS GONNA WANT TO IMPRESS HIS MATE AND PERFORM BETTER. THEN TELL HIS BITCH ALL ABOUT HOW BAD HIS ASS HAS BEEN DOING:

Thinking it over for a moment, Nashir looked like he might reject the idea before nodding. Good. Kurloz didn’t think Gamzee would perform otherwise, lazy fucker. The ringleader might have been worried but Kurloz was now looking about his trailer now he’d sent Mituna the time of pickup. He needed to get the blood out of the bathroom before his guest arrived.

-

“Remind me again as to what you are waffling on about?”

“WEDNEDSYTH..”

“Wednesday.”

“YEAHED, thath shithst twomorrowed.”

“Ah,” Almeis replied, his eyes looking over Mituna’s arms and hands carefully to search out anything he’d missed. No, the marker was all but gone now. “I recall you’re going away overnight. Perhaps you can refrain from adding markers to your skin hm? As wonderful as the creativity you displayed was, it was rather time consuming scrubbing it off.”

“Ur a scrub” Mituna huffed, his tongue coming out to aid in the blowing of an extremely loud raspberry.

“If I am a scrub then you’re a genital wart and a fetid one at that. Now, it’s almost time for work and as you know, you come in early with me....I really do not like telling you this each and every night.” But it had to be done. If he simply got him dressed and headed out, Mituna would assume he was being taken out for a treat or somewhere fun. Almeis didn’t really want to disappoint him and find Mituna kicking off at the front of the club.

Rolling his shoulders and huffing, it seemed like Mituna got the message and slumped forward, faceplanting into Almeis’s chest. “I duned wannaed go two wurkk..Maek Sol go.”

“He is studying for half term assessments. If he doesn’t continue to go to college and keep his attendance up then we are fucked. As much as you cannot help the government, they have decided that the disability act needed changing...You are not classed as disabled anymore as you can do some menial tasks.” came the bitter words of Almeis, aware that his sibling and others who were in need were now going to struggle intensely. Every day there were headlines in the Newark Echo about yet another being having destroyed themselves, unable to cope any longer. 

Almeis swallowed thickly, not wanting to admit to the amount of nightmarish images he’d had about finding a guilt ridden Mituna lifeless in his home. But he had to be frank with the other. There was more than enough people treating him like a child without him doing it as well.

Groaning could be heard once again as Mituna looked up at his suited sibling, a bit of drool soaking into Almeis’s tie from where his face had been smothered into it. “Whatevered...I’ll do ma shith...oh...OHHHH....I goth...whends....FFF...”

Steady hands pushed Mituna away and lead him towards the door, shaking his head a little. “Neither one of you can recall anything can you? Damage or not you were always pitiful at keeping track of things. Your sleep over is not tonight and I will take you to see your....friend...when it is due time. For now we are late for work and I will be damned if I miss an hours pay because you have dithered about again.”

“Ur a dither.”

“Please, release me from this endless tirade....”

-

[ twinarmeggedons started pestering terminallycapricious at 16:53]

TA: GZ, pull yourself out of whatever stupor you’re in and check your messages  
T: whoah there bro! Didn’t up and notice you getting your ping on at me.  
T: what’s the haps?  
TA: there’s a halloween party coming up at the end of the month, as loathed as I am to don a costume, the IT department is hosting it so I have to make my pasty face present  
TA: It’s being held at Liquid where my brother works.  
TA: want to come?  
TC: Sounds like my motherfucking jam  
TC: Aint no way this joker is going to pass up on such a chance  
TA: great  
TA: I’d say grab a costume but i'm expecting that you have a plethora of shit given you literally hang around a circus  
TC: you up and got it!

 

\-------

Could the downpour outside match the amount of drool that ran from Mituna’s mouth? Probably not, but as he was now here, Kurloz had little choice but to clean him up. Not that he minded too much. If he was honest with himself he’d been eagerly awaiting the arrival of his strange friend and mentally preparing himself for the care duties he’d be undertaking. Though he’d not been prepared for the smile that seemed stuck on Mituna’s face. One that shone so warmly and sweetly.

Mituna’s smiles were even more deceiving than his own though, so the circus mute arched a brow as he gently swept a tissue across Mituna’s face. What was that little bastard grinning about? Was he holding in gas or some other mischief? Part of him was tempted to find out, but felt it was better not to. He was certain Mituna would let him know what the deal was in time. However something was bothering him as he sat besides the other, studying his slightly freckled face.

:YOUR FACE:

“Ur fucking face” Mituna huffed, sticking his tongue out as his middle finger flexed up at Kurloz. Yeah, he’d expected that. It didn’t stop his eyes rolling however as a long sigh flowed through his nose. At least a smile curved over his stitched lips as he shook his head.

:NO, YOUR FACE:  
:IT NEEDS SHAVING:

Frowning, Mituna used a slightly shaking hand to explore his face, seeming surprised at the uneven stubble that was there. Cute. Or rather as cute as Kurloz could find something constantly jittering,swearing and drooling to be...which was perhaps more than he wanted to admit. There was no doubt in his mind however that Mituna had tried to shave his face himself and given up. After all, the facial hair was all uneven and there were small patches here and there of bare skin. Why his brothers had not intervened he didn’t know.

Or perhaps Mituna simply didn’t let them near him with a razor.

Either way, Kurloz was a man who kept his shit in order, it was why he was likely to be the next ringleader rather than his piss take of a younger brother. Hell, even his trailer was immaculate even with the array of occult objects hidden through the incense laden air. It would be pretty shitty of him to keep letting Mituna walk around looking like he’d been on the receiving end of a pissed off barber.

:I CAN FIX IT: He signed, gesturing to Mituna’s stubble. :IT WILL NOT HURT. YOUR FACE WILL BE SMOOTH LIKE MINE: 

A pause of consideration was taken by Mituna as Kurloz watched on, taking in the way his features contorted and moved. There was an overt expressiveness about him that was weirdly alluring, as if it was a comfort to know Mituna couldn’t hide anything from him. At the same time, it pissed on his plans to use Mituna for secret gathering given that he had been working away at Liquid. Then again, he wasn’t really certain WHAT he was expecting to pry from the other except the collective gossip of Newark. Gossip had uses when you had bodies to hide and bad deeds to be dealt.

 

“Promithed?” Mituna asked warily, eyes narrowing as he leaned forward to inspect Kurloz, as if trying to unearth a deception he had no hope of finding. Even if it was there.

A simple nod was all that seemed to be needed to confirm he was safe as Kurloz watched the warm smile spread across Mituna’s face once again. Ah, it was still a weird thing to see. In a good sort of way. Not that he really fully understood why the sight of Mituna’s smile made his emotions swell. In fact he was surprised they even shifted, he’d long believed them dead after all the things he’d done. Things that would make the most seasoned criminals twist and writhe in their sleep. 

His own smile widened at the thought before focusing on Mituna again, a hand reaching out to the other. Some things didn’t need to be said it seemed as it was taken firmly. Nice. It was a comfort not to have to sign everything twice over or rely on his ex to translate.

The offered hand was taken as seal of a promise and before long they’d set up a mirror, some water and other shaving paraphernalia. Enough to make sure that Mituna would feel like Kurloz knew what he was doing anyway. At least that was how he hoped it came across because it wasn’t often he needed to shave another person’s face (a hungover Gamzee being an exception.) Wandering hands were making themselves known though as he noticed Mituna starting to fiddle with various bits and pieces.

:STOP, THAT SHIT IS DANGEROUS. PLAY WITH MY BRACELETS INSTEAD: Kurloz offered, exhaling through his nose as he caught Mituna’s attention for all of about six seconds. Keeping him still was going to be a challenge in itself given that he wouldn’t be able to sign at him. Whatever could he do to keep that idiot still?

“Nope. Gunna stared at ur face.”

Pausing for a moment, Kurloz tilted his head. Stare at his face? Surely there were better things to do but he shrugged a bit and got on with it.

:I AINT GONNA BE ABLE TO SNAP ANY SIGNS AT YOU BRO, SO DON’T BE TALKING TOO MUCH SHIT WHILST I TIDY UP THIS MESS:

That would do. If it didn’t, then Mituna was going to be out of luck because Kurloz had foamed his face up and was starting to gently tilt it to the side. It’d be so easy to slice his neck open, much like he had done others but Kurloz felt no need to act on the impulse. Spilling Mituna’s blood never really crossed his mind nor did he want to see harm come to him. Rather he used the time to slowly caress his skin with the razor, moving only a few inches each time.

Mituna’s jawline wasn’t really defined and Kurloz would’ve pinned him as pretty androgynous if his mouth didn’t spit out curse words at every given moment. Plus the partial albimism made his face more interesting, a red eye matching the blue and the tired circles beneath them. Kurloz wandered what sort of things they saw, what Mituna might perceive him as.

Probably a novelty. Which didn’t bother Kurloz in the slightest. Better a falsity than the truth of a monster. He knew he was a vulture, circling above a lame lamb at this point, but he didn’t know what it was he hungered for. Afterall, ending this pitiful creature before him would be easy, but Mituna wasn’t that either. 

Kurloz didn’t know what Mituna was to him. Not a friend, he had those and knew the feelings that went with it. Not that he had any. But right now? He could feel an odd lust for something Mituna had. 

“Hmmm..” Came a deep mumble. 

“HMMMMMMM” Mituna echoed, not shocked that he’d made a noise. Now that was refreshing. Although his tongue was missing, he could make noise still. Something that a lot of people expressed shock and surprise at as if he’d ripped his own vocal chords out. But he hadn’t. Mituna didn’t give two shits about anything though, of course he wouldn't.

Having finished the task, Kurloz pulled back and looked over his work. Yes, much better. No jittering or jerking from Mituna either, who had been staring intently at him all the while. So there was things the other could concentrate on other than video games.  
:ALL DONE:

“What? Ohhhh....shith man thaths cool.” Mituna muttered before bumping the juggalo’s arm with a small fist. “Thankskies.”

What a shit term for thank you. Yet it meant more than any other thanks he’d gotten, so Kurloz took a bow.

If Mituna was thankful for anything, Kurloz liked the idea that Mituna might thankful for the things he had done. All the more reason to keep him close by.

======

Vomit was not anything to be impressed about as far as Almeis was concerned, and the same seemed to apply for Sollux. However Gamzee was a different matter.

“It’s chill man, I got it cleaned the fuck up and my old man is coming to pick me up.” He grinned, his tshirt still clearly chunky with the regurgitated essence of his lunch. Almeis would’ve scolded the boy further but felt Sollux was doing a fine job already. He could almost see the steam coming from his sibling’s reddened cheeks as the two headed to the local shop to get cleaning supplies.

At least most of the mess had been cleared up. However his night was about to get a lot messier as he heard the door knocking, an unusual thing given this neighbourhood. But then again, he reminded himself, Gamzee’s father was due to arrive.

Not really giving a second thought to the matter, he went to answer the door, casual attire on and expecting this would be a brief encounter. Yet the second he laid eyes on Nashir Makara, all plans went out the proverbial window.

“How did you get my address and why are you here.” He muttered flatly, ready to slam the door.

“Well ain’t that a nice way to greet your motherfucking guest? I figured you had better etiquette, Almeis.” Nashir grinned, pushing past the other and walking right on in. “So this is your place huh? Figured someone with a stick up their fucking ass like you would’ve had a more expensive place.”

“Says he who lives in a tent.” Almeis grumbled, closing the door gently as to give Nashir the impression he was composed. In reality, he was pissed as all hell.  
“Least my tent is paid for. I know your ass don’t own this shit.” came the retort, Nashir’s hulking figure moving to take a seat in the living room. Which, with its soft yellow hues and neutral tones made him seem like a goth amongst daffodils. A ridiculous image as far as Almeis was concerned and all the more reason to get him the fuck out of the house again. Whatever it was his old flame wanted, they could get it done and over with soon.

“I should have assumed one Makara would lead to another, though I am still not sure what you want. If it’s your...’son’...then he’s been sent to the shops for promptly vomiting on my laundry.” snapped Almeis, taking a seat besides the other and reaching for a pack of cigarettes. “You might as well take one given that you likely will anyway.” 

“Ain’t that mighty sweet of you? Makes my motherfucking heart melt.” Nashir grinned, causing Almeis to grit his teeth.

“Take the piss further and I will find some means to set you alight”

This was going to be a long evening.


End file.
